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Female colleague calling and texting partner all the time

283 replies

N12251234 · 08/04/2024 22:05

So I’ve been with my husband for 10 years, married for 3. We have a 3 month old baby together.

Just before we conceived our child my husband got a new female colleague. He works 12 hour shifts with her 2 out of the 4 shifts he does in a week. She is 23 and single. We are both in our early 30’s. To begin with he didn’t really like this girl, called her annoying and some other not so nice things. Then as they began to work together more they became good friends. I just want to make it clear that I don’t think he is cheating with her or anything like that.

My issue is, I think she is being a bit disrespectful and so is he. They text each other all the time, send Snapchat pictures to each other, and she calls him at least once every day. Sometime several times a day. He often has her on speaker so I know the chat is innocent. She will literally call just to tell him what she’s eaten for lunch that day. She did this all throughout my pregnancy and when I had just given birth. My partner doesn’t see the issue and just sees her as being friendly and he said it would be rude to tell her to stop as they are good friends.

I just feel like a young single female shouldn’t be messaging and calling a married man who has just had a baby all the time. Am I being unreasonable to ask him to tell her to back off a little.

OP posts:
duckcalledbill · 08/04/2024 22:13

Male friend*

PTSDBarbiegirl · 08/04/2024 22:13

It's not fine at all. Tell him it needs to stop. You can't allow this to happen anymore. It's not innocent.

duckcalledbill · 08/04/2024 22:13

I’m all for make/female friendships and the odd text and phone call but I would not stand for that OP. It’s excessive. Even if it was a make friend texting and calling that much I’d think it was a bit over the top.

boonr · 08/04/2024 22:11

That is really weird. I would say definitely cheating if it wasn't for him putting her on speakerphone.

I don't ring my own partner every day, let alone someone from work.

Really odd.

Justsomethoughts · 08/04/2024 22:11

Definitely not being unreasonable to not like this.
Your husband should be prioritising you and your new baby at this point. Even if he doesn’t see the problem himself, it should be enough that it is making you uncomfortable and he should have the sense and decency to cool it off.

ResidualHeat · 08/04/2024 22:09

I wonder how happy he'd be if you had another man calling/messaging you multiple times a day? Perhaps find an online "friend". Loads of people will be on here saying it's fine, but standards for men and women are very different.

boysgrove · 08/04/2024 22:09

Yeah, it is a bit weird

TeaKitten · 08/04/2024 22:06

What makes you think he isn’t cheating or falling for this woman?