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Original poster

To wonder how people book holidays without arguments?

63 replies

Schne · 08/04/2024 21:28

I’ve been in the process of planning this year’s family holiday for the past month now and still not decided where to go. It will be us, DC, my parents and PIL. It’s just so hard to find somewhere all 9 of us can agree on without arguing. I hate it and it’s so stressful every year. It’s like we’ll decide somewhere and at least someone will be put off by something or want to go somewhere else!

Does everyone else have this struggle??

OP posts:
Denou · 08/04/2024 21:52

The kids should go on their own with friends. They aren’t going to have anything like the same idea of what makes a good holiday as all 4 of their grandparents!

You’ve set yourself an impossible task. Give up and admit that it’s time to do separate trips.

PermanentTemporary · 08/04/2024 21:51

Gawd. Just go where you want and say you'll be happy to see them if they want to book nearby. It's supposed to be fun!

SummaLuvin · 08/04/2024 21:50

Jesus, your kids have all done well financially. Two 20yo and an 18yo have funds for a holiday to Miami! It was EasyJet/Ryanair to various parts of Europe for me at those ages. And I certainly couldn't fork out for what my parents would have considered an 'ideal' holiday.

ThinWomansBrain · 08/04/2024 21:47

going on holiday by yourself is the easiest way.

I do take my cat, but she doesn't argue too much.

Original poster
Schne · 08/04/2024 21:46

Notimeforaname · 08/04/2024 21:39

But it’s even hard just with DC as they all have their own preferences for holidays too!
You're the parent amd presumably paying, so you pick. That's that.

No my twins are 20 and DS is 18 so they’ll be paying for themselves and if they’re paying for themselves I have to let the have input.

OP posts:
FortyFacedFuckers · 08/04/2024 21:46

Why go away with people that don't enjoy the same holidays as you?

If I go with DS I know what we all like so just pick and if we go with our friends & all the kids, I go with people that I know like the same holidays as us so we are looking for the same things.

Brainded · 08/04/2024 21:45

Get everyone to pick 5 destinations (just country!) they would like and hope that there is one that is on every list and then when you have the country get the to do the same with specific areas.

PeloMom · 08/04/2024 21:43

Schne · 08/04/2024 21:36

But it’s even hard just with DC as they all have their own preferences for holidays too!

My DC only gets to have an input on a few activities they want to do at the destination I have chosen (like 2-3 things). They want to decide destination- they pay for the holiday.

PeloMom · 08/04/2024 21:41

I only go and organise holidays with my nuclear family. Holiday with that many people isn’t a holiday, it’s a nightmare

Needanewname42 · 08/04/2024 21:41

I think the issue is your trying to please too many people. I don't really know anyone who takes both sets of parents on holiday.

I'd decide where you DH and kids want to go, easiest way is to find somewhere that covers all the things people want to do.
Then tell parents "we have decided on going to x place on these dates, you are welcome to join us if you want, won't be offended if it doesn't suit"

tttigress · 08/04/2024 21:41

I actually went to all the places I really wanted to go alone.

I knew if I included friends the holiday would get screwed up with no one being 100% happy.

Maglian · 08/04/2024 21:40

Schne · 08/04/2024 21:36

But it’s even hard just with DC as they all have their own preferences for holidays too!

Mine get a quick consult at the beginning on what their priorities are. Are you giving your kids too much input here?

PermanentTemporary · 08/04/2024 21:40

How old are your dc??

I used to give ds a sheet of paper with some ideas on - not locations, things like 'sea' 'mountains' 'city' and get him to pick some options.

Tbh I wouldn't hand over my holiday choice to my ILs or my parents either unless they were paying

Notimeforaname · 08/04/2024 21:39

But it’s even hard just with DC as they all have their own preferences for holidays too!
You're the parent amd presumably paying, so you pick. That's that.

Gymmum82 · 08/04/2024 21:38

Never had this problem. We don’t go away with parents or inlaws and if we did we would choose where we wanted to go and invite them to join us based on our already made choice.
Just book for your family. Screw anyone else

Maglian · 08/04/2024 21:38

Get all couples to find a couple of options as a starting point. There are so many variables. You need to get people's brains in a constructive groove to find a consensus. It is SO easy for one person to get lumbered with the donkey work and for everyone else to just say "nope", "nope", "nope" almost on a reflex, without engaging with what compromise is needed to actually find somewhere that exists and is available. So if they say no, they need to bring a concrete alternative to the table. Don't let them just say "like this but half the price", "like this but closer to the beach".

Or just don't go with extended family! It's a minefield unless you are very lucky.

Bettyscakes · 08/04/2024 21:37

Why do you all have to go away together then if you have to compromise and not get the holiday you really want?

Notimeforaname · 08/04/2024 21:37

Pick a date you want to book by. Tell them you're booking on that date. If you all haven't agreed by then, book your own holiday where you want.

KitKat1985 · 08/04/2024 21:36

I think you and DH choose a destination with your kids, and ask your parents / PIL afterwards if they want to come along. Don't let them dictate your holiday plans.

BingoMarieHeeler · 08/04/2024 21:36

The key I find is to just go where you’re taken 😄✌🏻 DH books our hols and my mum books any big family ones.

nimski · 08/04/2024 21:36

No because I go with my DH and children not my entire family! V odd to go as such a big group.

Original poster
Schne · 08/04/2024 21:36

But it’s even hard just with DC as they all have their own preferences for holidays too!

OP posts:
OneToThree · 08/04/2024 21:35

Give the booking stress to somebody else. Say you’ve done it enough times and it’s someone else’s turn.

Parky04 · 08/04/2024 21:35

Very easy for us as it's always only the 2 of us! Will never take our parents on holiday with us!

SkaneTos · 08/04/2024 21:34

No struggle here, I am single with no kids, so I decide the destination, time, and activities.

Not very helpful respons, I know.

Perhaps travel with just your partner and your children?
But if you have lot of fun when you are travelling with the bigger group, then it is probably worth it.
Good luck, and happy travels!