To wonder how people book holidays without arguments?

It's only me, oh and teenager that have a say but we can't agree

No we just decide who has time to book it, and they get to choose where. We all get to say a couple of things we don’t want, and our budget, but other than that, up to them.

This is where a good independent travel agent can help you - everyone can brief them separately with equal input, and it's up to them to organise the best compromise.

@EmpressaurusOfTheScathingTinsel
Cat loves holidays - she's an indoor cat at home, or walks on a lead - her favourite holiday cottage has 20 acres, sheep, horses, she has a lovely time.

You are trying to please too many people, it will never work.

One thing my DH brought it, after a crappy holiday, was that we sat down after a holiday and talked about what worked well and what didn't. As holidays are expensive, they don't happen often, so you want to get it right.

For us this helped us figure out over a few years what sort of hotel we like, what is a waste of money for us and so on. To the point we now don't need the conversation as we both know what is going to work.

From what you have said, the first thing that would come up is 'planning it is so stressful, nobody wants the same things'.

So how can you make it less stressful? Expecting you, your DH, older DCs and both sets of parents to like the same holiday is a very big ask.
You can just stop sharing the holiday and go just with your DH and/or DCs, not expect everyone to stay the same length of time, not expect everyone to spend all day together. Expecting an 18 yr old and a 20 yr old to enjoy the same holiday as their grandparents, or even want to go with their grandparents is very unusual and essentially setting yourself up to fail.

Attempting to plan the same thing every year will get what you always get - a load of rows and nobody happy. You have to do something different.

We often do multi generational holidays but we are all mostly easy going and so long as it suits the grandkids and the great grandmother that works fine. We decide on a few things like budget, how far to travel and whether uk or abroad. We also don't all do the same things each day. I think you need to settle on a majority vote and those who don't want to go don't have to. So if the rest of you want Miami just tell PILs that is where you are going and they can take or leave it.

Your 18 yo can afford Miami 🤯

Well first of all, don't take 9 people on holiday! Ditch the parents and the in laws, because it sounds nothing like a holiday to me. People want different things at different ages, so you'll never agree, and surely it would be more enjoyable just with your own family?

"We are going to xxx on holiday. You are welcome to join us if you want" is all you need to say.

Personally, I don't "get" extended family holidays. No-one seems to enjoy them and people just fall out with each other.

We just holiday by ourselves.

Good advice from @NewName24 !

If you want to do long haul, I’d go to a large resort complex in the Caribbean, where there is multiple restaurants, night life, and you can cater to multiple generations, but I’m still surprised any teenager or 20 year old can afford it.

Like most people, we don't have arguments because we don't try to book a holiday for 9 adults, spanning 3 generations.

I mean, it's never going to be right for everyone is it ?

Just decide where you and your dh would like to go; put in the family WhatsApp "This is where Dad and I are going - if anyone wants to join us let us know by the end of the week and I'll book it for whoever wants to come".

Club La Santa

Just sayin'

Perfect for multi generational holidays.

Op I assumed it was Grandparents and young children you were talking about.

Your children are young adults surely they are looking for nightlife?
Meanwhile the oldies will be looking for tranquility.

I think it's time for you and DH to decide on a destination to suit you both. And issue open invite.

I thought that too and was surprised a teenager was paying to go for a holiday long haul.

Ok give everyone a vote. Put forward where they wish to go. Then invite everyone round and draw it out a hat, whatever is picked you all go to.

My dh doesn't care where we go or for how long once I stick within an agreed budget, usually for us and youngest son.l only early in the summer.
Family holiday, usually at mid term in October, with dh, younger son, 2 adult kids and grand daughter, I'll send them the link for the hotel, usually there's no argument. I would then tell my sister/parents where we're going and when and if they'd like to join us, sometimes it's a yes sometimes it's a no.

I couldn't handle the drama of everyone disagreeing. I'm lucky enough that all mine don't care once they're going on holiday.

Going by yourself rocks.

I’ve never tried taking a cat though. Does she enjoy it?

No because we're all very easy going people who just like visiting new places and don't really care where we go 😂 we've gone places with my parents and/or in-laws that I never would have picked myself and ended up having an amazing time.

You could always ask everyone for one suggestion and put them on a wheel or in a hat, and choose at random?

My dc get the holidays we choose. That doesn’t mean we don’t consider them but we let them know the plan. They’re pretty easy to please though - pool, sea, tennis courts, ice cream and sun and we’re all happy. Last year we went to Orlando and did universal parks. So while we plan things we know the dc will enjoy we also pick them for us.

I pick, I show my choice to my DM, if she likes it (she does, she'll holiday anywhere!), I book it and then afterwards she transfers me the cost of her and DFs part. Or what she guestimates that is, if I won't tell her how much it was.

If you are trying to find a holiday which will be ideal for 3 young people, 2 middle aged people and 4 older people, you are clearly on a hiding to nothing. Either everyone entrusts the choice to you without moaning, or you book for you and everyone else books for them.

If you have reached the stage where your children are paying for themselves, it may be time to rethink the large group trips abroad. It’s just too many people to balance competing needs. Your children probably need to keep things cheap. The older generation probably places great value on comfort.

for a family holiday, book something local, quick to reach, and relatively inexpensive. Maybe rent some cottages by the beach for a few days. Let people do their big holiday independently.

We just go us & the 2 kids. And the kids do not get a lot of say.

If everyone is paying their own way you are never going to agree, different budgets, ages, expectations.

I would bow out and say since nobody can agree you aren’t organising it this year. See what happens and book where you want to go.

Just go with your own family and its easy. The more people you take the more opinions you have to listen to.