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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my DB’s house after 1 day?

110 replies

Mumanddone · 08/04/2024 20:17

For background: DB has a 4 year old, I have a 3 year old. Have travelled from London to European capital to be with his family and for the DCs to spend time together. This morning, my niece has woken up with streaming nose, sneezing, coughing, spluttering: literally a walking microbe 😂 I rebooked our tickets this morning and we’re flying out tonight (was originally meant to stay for 4 more days). Did I overreact?

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 08/04/2024 23:13

couldnt you just book into a b and b or somethhing

youre more likely to catch something on a plane

HMW1906 · 08/04/2024 23:11

Mumanddone · 08/04/2024 22:36

I agree with this. I just literally saw the sneezes going into my child’s face, the incessant coughs into her mouth etc and panicked. Think many mums would want to manage the situation but I agree, perhaps I acted rashly.

Show quote history

As a mother to 2 small children (3 and 1) I can honestly say I wouldn’t cut a European trip short because the hosts kid had a cold. I’d maybe try to limit the hugging and kissing of said child but that’s about it. I probably wouldn’t cancel plans with friends at home if their kid had a cold either (unless they wanted to cancel), both my kids go to nursery, one or the other brings a cold home pretty
much every week, that’s just the way it is.

MigGirl · 08/04/2024 23:06

Mumanddone · 08/04/2024 20:50

My DD wasn’t sick, theirs was. I wanted to get mine away before she caught it.

Show quote history

You do realise she already has it don't you?

You are normally more contagious just before you come down with symptoms. You where mad to leave because of this.

HMW1906 · 08/04/2024 23:03

She has a cold!?! Does your kid not go to nursery/soft play/any toddler centred places that are a cesspool of germs? You’ve definitely overreacted and your kid has already been exposed so likely that ship has sailed already 🙄

NewName24 · 08/04/2024 23:02

Did you vote yourself OP ?
As 99% of voters have voted YWBU, but there is 1% of the vote that does seem to think you weren't being as ridiculous as everyone else knows you were.

canyouletthedogoutplease · 08/04/2024 22:55

Left your brother's and got onto a ...plane full of other people's germs?

Make it make sense.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 08/04/2024 22:48

Yes saying you shouldn't cut an overseas trip short over germs is exactly the same as everyone here being all for germ spreading without limit. Kids get sick it's a natural part of life. I have anxiety and not actually immunosuppressed but have a chronic illness and get very sick if I catch anything. I still think you were majorly OTT and wouldn't do the same.

Original poster
Mumanddone · 08/04/2024 22:41

Houseplantmad · 08/04/2024 22:40

But your child will have been exposed even before your DN became symptomatic, so what was the point in leaving. I trust you both wore masks on the flight so others don’t get infected.

Well it seems like everyone here is all for germ spreading without limit so I’m not sure what a couple of masks would do!

OP posts:
Houseplantmad · 08/04/2024 22:40

But your child will have been exposed even before your DN became symptomatic, so what was the point in leaving. I trust you both wore masks on the flight so others don’t get infected.

LIZS · 08/04/2024 22:38

Completely ott, Maybe he was just glad to see the back of you if you often overreact like this and would otherwise be constantly worrying. Your dd or even you will probably get it now anyway and possibly infect others on the plane.

SD1978 · 08/04/2024 22:37

Your kid was exposed before the symptoms started in the other kid. In a non immunocompromised child, yes, sorry, as pretty much everyone else has said you massively over reacted. I would not have cur shirt a trip based on this, but you did. I'm not sure what you though you were going to get from posting this on AIBU, except being asked if you have severe health anxiety and that you were, in fact, unreasonable

Original poster
Mumanddone · 08/04/2024 22:36

WhatTheFuk · 08/04/2024 22:35

I'm fairly covid-cautious (for good reason) but if you're willing to go to soft play, nursery, and travel by air (presumably without respirator masks), then I think your fears are misguided. Your child is just as likely to catch a bug in any of those places as from the cousin.

I agree with this. I just literally saw the sneezes going into my child’s face, the incessant coughs into her mouth etc and panicked. Think many mums would want to manage the situation but I agree, perhaps I acted rashly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumanddone · 08/04/2024 22:35

WhamBamThankU · 08/04/2024 22:33

Are you super anxious about your child catching normal childhood illnesses? As this is very extreme.

Not really. It someone I know is ill and coughing/ sneezing, I would reschedule with them. Otherwise, we go everywhere and do everything like normal people. She goes to preschool full time.

OP posts:
WhatTheFuk · 08/04/2024 22:35

I'm fairly covid-cautious (for good reason) but if you're willing to go to soft play, nursery, and travel by air (presumably without respirator masks), then I think your fears are misguided. Your child is just as likely to catch a bug in any of those places as from the cousin.

Original poster
Mumanddone · 08/04/2024 22:34

Crazycrazylady · 08/04/2024 22:29

Honestly this behaviour would concern me. It's nice your brother was kind but I guarantee you they discussed you afterwards as being incredibly over anxious .
You're going to find the school years tough if you don't get to grip with what ever this is.

my daughter and I are out and about every day, she goes to preschool full time. There’s nothing germphobic about our life. But when there’s a visibly ill child who is constantly around yours and you have a chance to manage it, I think many would. That being said, I can be anxious and it’s something I’m working on. Perhaps this will be a learning curve. May just take all future trips with the caveat that she may get sick and suck it up.

OP posts:
WhamBamThankU · 08/04/2024 22:33

Are you super anxious about your child catching normal childhood illnesses? As this is very extreme.

Crazycrazylady · 08/04/2024 22:29

Honestly this behaviour would concern me. It's nice your brother was kind but I guarantee you they discussed you afterwards as being incredibly over anxious .
You're going to find the school years tough if you don't get to grip with what ever this is.

caringcarer · 08/04/2024 22:23

thistimelastweek · 08/04/2024 20:21

Yup, you overreacted.

This. It's just a cold.

MiltonNorthern · 08/04/2024 22:16

Do you have anxiety diagnosed by a medical professional? If not, perhaps it's time to discuss it with one. It's really not a normal thing to do. She's probably also got it already as the niece was contagious when you arrived.

ToxicChristmas · 08/04/2024 22:13

If you've been taking your kid to soft play no amount of grabbing her away from snotty kids will help. Those places are germ factories -snotty kids have sneezed and coughed and dribbled on everything. She's been crawling bare handed over play equipment and no doubt wiping her face and mouth.

Farnhamgallll · 08/04/2024 22:12

Kindly, please seek therapy for your phobia of the common cold.

ParsonsPont · 08/04/2024 22:07

I have a child where every time he’s caught a cold, we’ve needed a trip to A&E and he’s had several admissions as well as stays on the high dependency unit.

And even I wouldn’t have done that.

And in fact I haven’t. After driving 10 hours for us to see my in laws and his cousin arrived with a runny nose and cough, I just hoped for the best rather than jump in the car and drive back to London!

Bonkers!

AsphaltBeach · 08/04/2024 22:03

what a fabulous example to set to your kid. You’re in danger of raising a child with serious germ issues.
Oh, and chances are, child was contagious long before the symptoms started to show

Crowgirl · 08/04/2024 22:03

Slap cheek is contagious before the rash shows. By the time you know you've got it you've already spread it.

Lighteningstrikes · 08/04/2024 22:01

A very extreme reaction.

Young kids pass germs around like wildfire and more often than not, there’s not a lot you can do about it.

On the positive side, your DC will be building up her immune system.