Ostracised by group of friends - blaming the Childminder

It sounds madly pedantic for you to look shocked over the pacifier. You saw it was mentioned but not used, but she held in her pee till a bathroom, maybe because of the pacifier being offered after the event, or maybe not. I fail to see why you would care. It seems like you dislike the childminder? That one incident alone seems too much for them all to block you though.
Why not ask Janet if she knows what's up? Would you be prepared to apologise? Is it even worth it?

This. Very odd

How confident are you that you are talking about the same incident?

It could be that she has offered the pacifier at a different time but didn't this I e because she didn't have it or she knew the child could cope this time without and didn't want her to start using it as an excuse to have it at all times.

You need to take your courage in both hands and ask 1) Janet and
2) anyone else you think might still be friendly - what exactly is going on and why have you been blocked by the whole group? Its real "Mean Girl" stuff.

The Childminder lied to Janet, quite an unnecessary lie too. What you said to Janet doesn't seem enough for everyone to block you like that, so the likelihood is that the childminder has accused you of something bad enough to be blocked for to discredit you. I think Janet owes you an explanation and at least tell you what you've been accused of.

At least if you know what's been said you have a chance to defend yourself and decide what to do next, otherwise if you appear to keep silent it will just be accepted that what ever it is, is true.

Sadly it will probably be difficult to change people's minds, they sound very cliquey - Its probably a good idea to try to make friends outside of the school circle, and find new interests as they sound like a very fickle and gossipy bunch of people. If you've indulged in that yourself, that might hold part of the answer for the blocking. If not it will probably be better for your sanity to make new friends.

They all sound so childish and just keep your friendship with Janet and see how things play out. Sounds like they are all school children. Try not to overthink it all but bet childminder was pissed off that you told Janet the truth without thinking it would create such a big issue. Child minder wrong for telling all the group and is in the wrong.

Are you sure this is the reason why a whole group of adults have removed you from social media and their chats?

Janet is still your friend so I expect she raised it with the childminder who denied it and then the childminder removed you and said youd been lying.

Janet doesnt know either way but probably doesnt feel able to change her whole childcare routine at the moment over what she is considering a white lie by childminder so it's more convenient to ignore it. Shes still friends with you.

Start being an organiser, arrange fun things with Janet and one of the friendlier mums who hasnt deleted you and start working or building up a small group. Do not ever discuss The Incident. Eventually Janet and childminder will drift when Janet doesnt need her anymore.

But if someone says something weird, then your face changes, then they notice and say "WHAT?" while staring at you anxiously.... I don't think "Oh, nothing" will cut it in that situation. In fact when I've tried it people have got angry at me for not being honest with them 🙄

Just because you made a face, doesn't mean you had to spill the beans and stir it up.

You could've just left it.

I’m more concerned about the use of an unregistered childminder. It is illegal. Please report this to your LA/Ofsted. There is a reason they are not registered! Huge red flag.

They sound like a load of arseholes. Why on earth would you have to go along with a lie that a childminder told about how she treats your friend’s child? And it’s not like you deliberately went to tell your friend, it came up in conversation. If she hadn’t have lied then she wouldn’t have had anything to worry about. You’re definitely better off out of it. They’re petty and immature.

To be fair it’s not gossip, it’s telling someone the truth about the way their child is being cared for. It would be a weird secret to keep.

I wouldn't be happy if a child minder lied about 'comforting' my child, if they hadn't.

Why the need to lie?

Surely it would have been better to tell the child's Mum the truth? If this unregistered child minder is lying about something so trivial, what else does she like about?

For what it's worth OP I think you're better off out of these groups. Breeding grounds for gossip and tittle tattle most of them.

Tbf if I was in the same situation as OP I would have told my friend the truth. And as a parent I would hope that any of my friends in that situation would do the same.

I too am unable to make my face align with whatever the chosen narrative is OP. If someone says something that is a flat lie then my face will show it. I sometimes wish it didn't (I generally realise afterwards that my face has been Wrong) but there it is!

What a weird thing for them to fall out with you over.

I just want to know how other people remember details like this of other people’s lives. I mean even if I vaguely remembered this interaction I wouldn’t count on myself to be paying close enough attention to claim the other person was lying.

Hell I forgot more time than I care to admit the purpose I walked into a room for.

Op my face would have told the same story as you. So I would have done exactly what you had done.

you don’t need friends like them, however I’d definitely speak to your friend Janet.

You've had a lucky escape!

Grown ass women removing you off Facebook.... oh please!

But you didn’t need to lie. You didn’t need to say anything at all.

Contrary to your earlier statement, it seems you absolutely do like drama!

Are you always so black and white?