Ostracised by group of friends - blaming the Childminder

Are you sure it's not Janet who's been shit stirring? It seems like an extreme over reaction by all of them on the face of it.

I'm not sure why so many posters are piling on to the OP. I'm pretty sure that my face would have shown surprise.

It sounds like the childminder is a liar, very manipulative and a bit of a queen bee. These "friends" don't sound very nice.

You did nothing wrong, OP. Someone recounted a version of events that was wrong and you automatically corrected them. That’s what most people would do in the course of a conversation, perfectly naturally and honestly. It’s like someone saying, I heard Fred drove through a red light yesterday and you saying, nah, it wasn’t Fred, it was Jim. And then the chat moves on. You weren’t trying to trip anyone up or spread gossip, just conversing.

God knows about the removing from groups and being ostracized. That’s so odd! I’d pick the people you know best/like and invite them for a coffee/play date individually. I’d also ask Janet what’s going on. And I’d report the dodgy childminder…

I would count yourself lucky. Who wants to be friends with such petty stupid people? I honestly probably would’ve done the same as you. Not because I wanted to gossip, but I would’ve been like what? that’s not what happened?! I also just don’t understand why the childminder lied about such a dumb thing. She just sounds full of herself and is angry with you for getting caught but really it’s her own fault for having such a huge ego.

Yup caring for someone else child is tough enough without other parents gossiping and replaying petty non issues back to said child’s parent!

Posts like this make me glad I stay out of these mum groups

I think I’d have just kept my mouth shut over the dummy and nodded along.
The childminder probably thought you were talking behind her back to try and cause trouble and shes annoyed that you tole the mum the truth.

I’d go and find some new friends who aren’t so childish.

I take them to classes and play groups and arrange Play dates with fellow Nannies. They can socialise with their parents friends with their Parents.

It's such a non issue why dis the mum bring it up? I'm guessing she already knew from her own child and used you to confirm her suspicion

I would have also told Janet op, based on my own experience of 2 crap childminders. It can actually be difficult to really know what happens when one person looks after your child alone.

I would also report her as being unregistered. Janet should be more careful with her childcare. Does this woman even know paediatric first aid or anything?

Is that fair to the child? They miss out playing with friends.

Nannys don’t have to regulated or registered btw. Unless she’s providing care from her own home then she does have to be.

This is why I as a nanny don’t do any play dates with employers friends and I don’t want to be gossiped about for petty reasons by over sensitive parents.

If I was Janet I would be alarmed by the CM response and feel concerned about her maturity and honesty. Running back to the group and getting them involved is extraordinarily unprofessional.

The difficulty is that Janet’s friendship has turned into a professional relationship, and it’s changed the dynamics in the group as a result.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You have just been honest.

I imagine the CM feels you were reporting back to Janet, but why the others have all got involved I have no idea. How childish and silly of them.

Ignore it and carry on as before. Petty behaviour.

These people were never ‘friends’ just people to pass the time with. I would look to develop proper friendships that are supportive and meaningful. Girl groups like this often blow up over nothing and it’s not personal.

Are you in the UK? Because,if so, it's illegal to work as a child minder if you're not registered.

This. Childminder is probably scared she will be reported

They are petty and you are better without them.

I understand you were probably surprised and pulled a face. Not in any way worthy of being 'dumped' by a friendship group. How silly.

Hold your head high @springyellowrose

I think I would have done the same in your situation!

It seems Janet named you when asking about the incident so childminder has felt like you were skating her, spoke to several other friends and they all agreed to kick you out the group/unfollow you.

Well they are clearly childish and a bit nasty. Although I would be interested to know what the childminder said. It could be worth getting your side across with a few of them if you want to continue the friendships, if you are not that invested I would leave it.

I'd probably mention to Janet you have been dumped.

Exactly this and being unregistered it's probably cheap!

This is exactly why I've avoided having mum friends. They're so bitchy

You’ve had a lucky escape, they sound awful. So childish.

I think Janet would rather believe the CM’s version of events because otherwise she wouldn’t be able to trust her and would have to find alternative child care.

I agree. Why cant the mum know what happened with her own kid. Its not some big secret. It's only been made awkward by the CM lying and then stropping when she was caught lying and turning other people against her.
Op has done nothing wrong. It's normal to look puzzled if someone tells you something you know didn't happen as you were there.

If I considered Janet a real friend I would have said something too. It speaks of the trustworthiness of the childminder. She lied, she didn’t offer comfort. That’s quite an important point if someone is looking after your child. Why lie? It’s odd. Plus her nuclear response to hearing about it - leading everyone in a mass blocking on social media - again suggests she’s a bit unhinged.

What a bunch of idiots. Stay friends with Janet, build other friendships elsewhere, and be grateful you’re out of that immature bullshit.

Well you do if someone asks you