No phone for secondary school

No. Smartphones and technology are here to stay and children need to learn to use them safely. They are not going anywhere. What would be the point in not educating children about it. That would be a pointless and backward move.

OP, your kid will need a smartphone for an increasing number of things and they don't have to cost a fortune. Homework apps, school email addresses (yes, some secondary schools do issue these to students), timetables and bus passes.

Contact with their friends is also often via WhatsApp or other messaging apps. Your child will be very much in a minority if you try to refuse this.

It definitely doesn't have to cost a fortune. My DD had a fairly basic smartphone when she was in year 7 (a few years ago now) that cost £8 per month. I had all of the limits on it that I could (couldn't go more than £1 over her limits or it would cut off) and quite a few parental controls.

Schools have their own WiFi and expect students to be able to use it. They will have some laptops of course, but like everything else, not enough to go round. Your child will have some advantage if they do have their own phone, and can look things up for themselves when asked to.

Most schools do ban general phone use during the day and they should then be kept off/in bags during lessons. However, as you can see, they are needed at times too.

It might be classed as that but not for what he uses it for - he is only in groups with people he knows - doesn’t use status etc. his friends use it in a similar way to us - to arrange meet ups.

he knows to block people who message him that he doesn’t know.
he also knows I monitor his phone. We chat about what might get shared and what to do if he sees something he doesn’t like or upsets him.
it’s totally different from say snap chat or tick tok where there are algorithms at play. It’s a way of messaging multiple people at once and sharing (imo) unfunny gifs.

In 5 years time (or less if he leaves home at 17) he is going to be out in the big bad world all on his own and I have to help him transition to be able to be a responsible man and use the internet well. When he is 13 and still listens to me we can instill this values in him rather than shouting through a door at an 15 year old.

Allowing him WhatsApp it the first step towards that.

Mine needs it for her timetable, to view homework, school e mails etc. Her timetable can change so it can't be printed and is on an app.

You realise What’s App IS social media?

They take them to school so they can message to arrange friends to come over rather than just turning up with them. They also quite often, especially near the end of term, okay blooket with their teachers so all use phones.

one dc in dd1’s class started secondary without a phone and by Christmas had one because it was limiting when the others are all making new friends and messaging each other.

we gave dd1 a phone just before starting secondary and that was a mistake because she then was overly focused on it. We learned and gave dtds phones the Christmas in year 6 so they had months to learn and by the September they were less obsessed and it was much smoother.

we also learned with dd1 to ban group chats - ones with the whole class. Small groups planning an activity or close friends is fine but not people they don’t even like from school.

This, the first thing most do is look at their phones and have no awareness of what's going on around them.

I don't even think the majority of this thread are supporting that and a thread like this will always attract people who do.

My children have had a smartphone for year 7 because they travel to school across multiple methods (bus/train) and need to be able to access apps to assist them. Bus tickets are also cheaper via the app. I can track their location and order a taxi for them if public transport fails. It’s a helpful and reassuring tool for them (and me) as they gain greater independence.

Smartphones are not the devil, unregulated access to them is the real problem. My children have always had iPhones and their account is linked to mine. I can choose exactly which apps they can access and for how long. I can limit their contacts to a chosen list. I have total control over exactly what they can and cannot do on their phones and it’s worked well.

I was the child who was always the odd one out and didn't have the latest ...anything, and whose mother pretended she was an absolute Luddite when it suited her. If you do this you are making your child's life miserable.

Why do you need a phone or to be on WhatsApp? You’ll get the usual lot on here who only got their child a bog standard Nokia and spend 99p a month on it but in reality, with 3 children I’ve yet to meet a child who doesn’t have a smart phone.

Put parental security on it. Have the least expensive smartphone you can find. It’s disingenuous to act so confused about it though.

My DD is 27, and I got her a smartphone at age 14 for school. She was the last in her peer group.
She didn't use to access anything she shouldn't, and it was an additional phone on my account, so I could monitor what was accessed.
Honestly? They don't want to be different.

They don't need them for this. All the school systems I've worked with have an option to login online. A computer at home or tablet if computer is to expensive can be used for this purpose. I refuse to use school work apps on my phone and just login online.

No they aren't needed and many schools are now banning them anyway. So they can take it to school but have to have it off in their bags when at school.

1. Homework set on the app (can access via a laptop but easier on the phone) and they’re making new friends.
2. Often in different classes due to subjects and streaming so they can arrange to walk home together at the end of the day
3. monitoring and teaching safe phone use is much easier with an 11 year old who still listens to their parents v a 14 year old who thinks they know it all.
4. my dc communicate with each other and with me really well, and speak with their grandparents even though we don’t live near them.

Mobile phones used with boundaries are good. we have no phones upstairs until year 10 (unless specific permission for private call or listening to music - each time must get permission) and all phones are on charge overnight on the docking station. Dd is 16 and still does that by choice at bed time. Finally, if a parent asks you to put your phone down it’s done with no argument.

Yes, a smartphone is essential for many schools

it sounds like teachers have made a rod for their own backs there then

I agree with your sentiment, but I don't think it's quite as black and white as you make out, OP.

I am a school Safeguarding Lead so smart phones/social media are the absolute bane of my existence. But even I have to accept that, to an extent, the genie is out of the bottle and some parents will have valid reasons for wanting their child to have a phone when they go to secondary school. IME the problems arise when parents do not take responsibility for limiting their child's phone use or checking what's on their child's phone. As a pp has rightly pointed out, having a phone does not mean a child has to have access to social media in Year 6/7. Parents can and should be setting boundaries and expectations around the phone and sticking to these.

I know of plenty of parents who manage to check their childs phone regularly for any distressing or inappropriate content, do not allow their child to have their phone in their bedroom at night so it doesn't interfere with sleep, set time limits for phone use and make it clear that if the child doesn't comply with the above they will lose access to the phone for a specified time. But some parents are adamant that these kinds of safety measures are impossible to enforce or they just don't see the need for them, which is why schools are increasingly having to deal with social media/phone related disruption and safeguarding issues.

It’s not lockdown related. My DS is 18 and his first phone was over the summer hols before secondary. Quite a lot of schools like them switched off during the day. In sixth form, it’s completely different from that

All of dc's homework and their timetable is on an app. Eldest is Y11 and this has been the case since he started in Y7 so this preceded covid and lockdown.

Yes, a smartphone is essential for many schools.

You can decide not you let your child have a smart phone but ultimately they will have one and they need to be able to deal with it responsibly.
DS got his the christmas before he started high school - it meant he could start to go further afield with his friends and I would know where he is.
Now at 13 he needs his phone for school (homework), sports teams (details of matches), whats app (to arrange to see his pals, to send jokes and laugh about their football teams, and to be part of extended family groups who live a long distance away) and duolingo (which he does with his dad and grandpa).
This gives him independence and helps plan his time- he needs to look at the family calendar to see what’s happening.
he doesn’t have email or social media. Those will come in time over the next few years is a slow and responsible manner.
We talk a lot about internet safety and online bullying. There are lots of things that aren’t good about the internet, but there are some
amaxing things and they can develop really
positive characteristics

Can Mumsnet not throw their weight behind a campaign for smartphone free schooling?

My daughter had a cheap smart phone when she started secondary school. I wanted her to have one because she had a journey of an hour each way by train and bus so I wanted her to be able to contact me if her train was cancelled, if she kissed the bus etc. the school had a very strict policy on phones and if anyone was caught with their phone out of their bags for any reason during the school day, including breaks, it was automatically confiscated for the remainder of the half term and was only returned to a parent which was extremely inconvenient for parents such as us who lived ten miles away. students who were caught using their phones didn't do it a second time!

DS school would provide a tablet for necessary school work.
No data needed, can connect to school wifi.

If your DC and friends don't have phones they'll be fine as they will find another way to arrange socialising. Just don't be that parent who contacts a friend of your DC if they are out somewhere and you need to be in touch.

DS had to have one for the Show my homework/satchel apps and also his bus ticket had to be bought via an app otherwise it's more expensive. I wish my kids had never had smart phones but sadly life is becoming more and more designed around them.

DD was at a school that wouldn't allow them within the school gates. The kids who wanted their phones for the journey to or from school paid £1 per day to a local shop to lock them away in a safe for the day.

OP at what point do you plan to introduce a phone. Would you rather her get one at 11 where you can teach her safe usage or at 14/15 when she's desperate to be like her friends and catch up on what she has missed? In my experience, dd got a phone in y6 for various reasons which was earlier than most and i taught her all the dangers when she was more likely to listen. By the time she was in year 9 , her peers were using it inappropriately (messaging people online) whilst she didn't as the novelty had worn off

Most of the school homework is via apps on their phones. They are not allowed their phones out in class (unless teacher tells them to take a photo of the work they are doing).

They all walk home in a group together, mostly catching up on all the gossip, not looking at their phones.

The phone is totally necessary for arranging social life, endless school whatsapp groups, group calls, snapchat, insta stories, etc.

Im not saying it needs to necessarily be the very latest phone, but equally most teenagers are driven by a real need to fit in and giving your dc an old school nokia brick will potentially be fuel for bullies