No phone for secondary school

The sooner there’s a complete ban on smartphones in senior schools, the better IMO.

There’s an article in today’s Times about a school that issues lockable pouches, no exceptions. One girl actually said she thought she’d do better at school now - previously, if she didn’t know the answer, she’d just ‘google it under the desk’.

this also means you’ve an unrelated adult contacting children. Some parents have my dcs number, others I don’t know well enough and wouldn’t want that.

I think if schools are insisting on a technology being essential to manage round the school day they should provide the technology to manage around the school day. Or go back to paper timetables and homework diaries.

yes they do need the apps for school. Time tables, homework as well as specific subject apps. not only did they need a smart phone they needed a new one with the latest iOS.

i did bring it up with the school when they started and they just shut the conversation down with “they can stay in at break times to use the school equipment”. not a particularly inclusive policy.

My eldest (14) has WhatsApp and no other SM. He's actually not that interested! He's got an ancient 3rd hand phone, it does for what he needs. He's getting his first new phone for his birthday (£140 Samsung) as he's had the other one 4 years without any incident. It's on a cheap SIM only deal. We had Google family so I can see what he's on, restrict apps he installs and make it inaccessible on a schedule or whenever I want.

Daughter will have same when she goes to secondary as she's got a long bus journey. Its balancing out the need to fit in with the parental responsibilities that is hard, but doable.

Are you saying here that you'd expect to be able to contact your phoneless child through their friends with phones?
What would you yourself be bringing to this village?

I'm genuinely torn on this.

I have a Y6 child and not having a phone is seriously affecting the level of freedom he has but we really don't want him to have a smartphone just yet.

I want him to be able to make arrangements with his friends / let me know when he arrives or leaves XYZ so I know he's safe or know to expect him home but I know how bloody addictive smart phones are and I want to hold out on that as long as possible.

We've looked at non smart phones and watches that make calls / texts as alternatives and we just can't decide.

It's ironic that such a burden (in terms of responsibility) is being considered to offer DC more freedom.

Of course there is also the element of fitting in and being like his peers which is very important at this age. As well as being able to communicate with his peers. At present I arrange play dates / meet ups etc and it's all very rigid - IE be back at X time, only go to Y and Z. I want him to have a bit more leeway when the weather improves and in 5 / 6 months he is going to be getting public transport every day. I'd just like to have a way to stay in touch (selfishly!!)

DC isn't pushing us on it which helps, but I know what he's like and I know he'll end up like 99.9% of smartphone users - over reliant on his phone.

There's a certain age you can dictate what goes as a parent, by 17/18 that starts to become very difficult. I don't want someone telling me what I shouldn't be doing on my phone - Mumsnet for instance 😬🤣

Don't get me wrong, he uses it as I contact him that way so there's an obligation to use it on his part. If I didn't, he wouldn't. I phoned him through it to ask what's happening, or if he needs help. He contacts his friends via Discord.

He isn't interested in Snapchat or anything like that. He did have a spell trying it but decided it was too much hassle as all his friends use Discord.

What's interesting in the schools near us is that the grammars and Ofsted outstanding schools ban them on the premises, those eight the same reputation are those pushing apps and the need for smart phones for homework

A group of mum friends and I were talking about this yesterday. Absolutely agree with you, it's ridiculous. I also work in a school and see it all the time, drives me mad.

Everything is on an app. Home work. Timetable , dinner money, reports , everything.

my kids have to hand theirs in to their form tutor and they get it back at the end of the day, whether you like it or not, you’ll be creating a divide of your kid vs others if you don’t give into it.

Is this for real? Why would your 8/9 year old need an iPhone?

You sound like a broken record. No, it is not essential, no you don't have to buy one , but it will make life harder not having one.

That's literally it. What more do you want?

It is, but it’s hardly surprising when you think of the amount of adults that use them to make their lives easier.

Wr arrange a lot of family get togethers on group chats, because it’s easier for us all to agree together than one person go backwards and forwards between everyone until we have a time/date that works.

I’m in a carshare group chat at work, which has been brilliant.

I have a group chat with some of the mams from my youngest dcs toddler groups etc. someone always pops in “we’ll be here”. You can go if you want, or not. But it’s more efficient than sending the same message 5 times.

Then there’s just a couple of daft ones allowing for us to chat together.

It stands to reason that if adults build our lives around convenience etc, children will obviously want to do the same.

I agree op. If you could just tell the school that as well. That way they won’t buy in all the apps that need, not only a smart phone but one using the latest iOS.

they now have laptops as well in the starting school kit list, it’s taken it up to a nice £1000 you need to find for them to start school.

Must depend where you are because my three teens and their friends all use WhatsApp. Mine have no interest in FB, Twitter, Insta tho and I don't allow Snapchat.

I'm with @TeenLifeMum you can allow a smartphone but restrict it and monitor safe use. My kids have a one hour daily time limit for anything non essential and a bedtime blocker, plus phones charge downstairs overnight under the age of 16. WhatsApp may count as social media but I would argue it is quite essential in this modern life. Literally no teenagers text each other, everything is WhatsApp. But you can monitor their use, make sure they're not joining big group chats and make sure nothing dodgy is going on. Mine don't have Snapchat as that sounds like a recipe for disaster.

As they are travelling independently on public transport, Life360 for tracking them and checking they are where they are supposed to be is also essential in my view, as is the ability for them to use apps like train/bus apps etc.
Final thing, my friend wouldn't get her year 7 a phone, and the child spent the whole year watching over other people's shoulders so it's not like it shielded her fromonline content, just made her life difficult.

I definitely wouldn't buy an expensive phone tho, there are cheap phones and contracts. Ours is £5 a month sim only on a family plan and we bought £100 phones which have lasted for several years.