Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend doing my head in

61 replies

CocoapuffPuff · 08/04/2024 18:32

I have a friend staying this week. She us from the USA. She's fab, fun and fucking LOUD.

She's working whilst here, via zoom and I'm so tired of the fucking noise. She's so loud. Shouting, shrieking, etc. The cats are jumpy, I'm longing for some silence and now She's just told me she has a zoom meeting between 1am and 3am.

She's leaving Thursday and I'm so looking forward to the lack of noise.

Why are Americans so bloody loud??? She knows, she's making an effort to dial it back when she remembers but it's not very often that she remembers.

It's not an Aibu really, just an anonymous moan on an anonymous forum to stop myself from exploding. JFC.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 09/04/2024 18:13

Even though it’s AIBU that doesn’t mean every single opinion has to be agreed with or valued by a grateful OP. The OP can also respond how they see it.

Because, you know, it’s AIBU.

SevenSeasOfRhye · 09/04/2024 18:13

CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 18:09

I get it. I thought I'd posted in chat. I don't think anyone normal could imagine it being reasonable to be kept awake between 1am and 3am by a zoom call for a book club. But again, I'm generalising and perhaps you'd love it?

Show quote history

On a weeknight, most definitely not! I wouldn't mind on a Friday or Saturday because I'm naturally a night owl and often stay up till that sort of time if I don't have to get up the next day.

Original poster
CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 18:09

SevenSeasOfRhye · 09/04/2024 18:04

I mean this as a genuine question, not a sarcastic one - are you quite new to Internet forums? If you ask a question with a subjective answer - 'am I being unreasonable' - the idea is to get a range of opinions, not just a single opinion.

Show quote history

I get it. I thought I'd posted in chat. I don't think anyone normal could imagine it being reasonable to be kept awake between 1am and 3am by a zoom call for a book club. But again, I'm generalising and perhaps you'd love it?

OP posts:
Original poster
CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 18:06

CantFindTheBeat · 09/04/2024 18:01

To be fair, OP, you did make a sweeping generalisation of an entire nation.

The question is why is YOUR FRIEND so loud, not every single US citizen.

Yes, true. I generalised about Americans because every one of them I know is delightful, creative, funny and adorable, but oh so loud. I know lots of them, but not all of them.

OP posts:
SevenSeasOfRhye · 09/04/2024 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I mean this as a genuine question, not a sarcastic one - are you quite new to Internet forums? If you ask a question with a subjective answer - 'am I being unreasonable' - the idea is to get a range of opinions, not just a single opinion.

CantFindTheBeat · 09/04/2024 18:01

To be fair, OP, you did make a sweeping generalisation of an entire nation.

The question is why is YOUR FRIEND so loud, not every single US citizen.

PossumintheHouse · 09/04/2024 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I think my input to this important question is desperately important too. (!!!!!!!!!!!)

CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SevenSeasOfRhye · 09/04/2024 17:51

CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:35

I asked a question, was given very helpful info by responders, thanked them then had a finger wagged at me by a sanctimonious prefect who clearly felt I'd not phrased things "properly" according to her high standards.

I'm inclined to ask why some total stranger felt the need to lecture me, but hey ho.

Show quote history

It's a discussion forum in which you posed the question, to total strangers, 'Am I being unreasonable?' If you're not prepared to be told by said total strangers that you are being unreasonable (incidentally, I didn't even say you were being wholly unreasonable!) I'd suggest AIBU is not the right board for you.

There are plenty of other boards where you can ask for advice without calling your reasonableness into question, though by the nature of this forum, replies will be coming from 'total strangers' - if you want advice from people you know, try a non-anonymous social media platform.

Original poster
CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:35

Headtothestreets · 09/04/2024 17:30

Why are you being so aggressive to posters?

I asked a question, was given very helpful info by responders, thanked them then had a finger wagged at me by a sanctimonious prefect who clearly felt I'd not phrased things "properly" according to her high standards.

I'm inclined to ask why some total stranger felt the need to lecture me, but hey ho.

OP posts:
Headtothestreets · 09/04/2024 17:30

Why are you being so aggressive to posters?

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 09/04/2024 17:28

One of my friends is like this OP - not American but so loud and l always forget until l see her! She knows it as well so why she doesn't lower her voice, l don't know!!

Original poster
CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:27

PossumintheHouse · 09/04/2024 17:24

AREN'T YOU CHARMING!!!!!!! !!! !!

Show quote history

Aren't I?

OP posts:
CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:25

aesopsgables · 09/04/2024 17:21

If she's actually your friend can you not tell her to keep it down? Especially at 1-3am? Just say something.

Have done, thanks. I didnt know zoom could be done by text. She's promised to be considerate.

OP posts:
Fannyfiggs · 09/04/2024 17:24

Oh jeez, this thread took a turn rather quickly 😲

Although some of you are hilarious.

@toomuchfaff oh BTW I'm going to be hosting the brass band at (insert her sleep time here), I do hope you took the above advice to be quiet at 3am....

@PlasticOno Tell her to use the Teams Chat function or sign language. Or interpretative dance or whatever, as long as she doesn’t make any noise.

😂😂😂😂😂

PossumintheHouse · 09/04/2024 17:24

CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:19

Go be sanctimonious somewhere else.

Show quote history

AREN'T YOU CHARMING!!!!!!! !!! !!

aesopsgables · 09/04/2024 17:21

If she's actually your friend can you not tell her to keep it down? Especially at 1-3am? Just say something.

SevenSeasOfRhye · 09/04/2024 17:20

CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:19

Go be sanctimonious somewhere else.

Show quote history

You're just confirming my opinion.

Original poster
CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Go be sanctimonious somewhere else.

OP posts:
SevenSeasOfRhye · 09/04/2024 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

bellezarara · 09/04/2024 16:01

I’d not be letting her stay again, sounds awful.

Caroparo52 · 09/04/2024 16:00

Lesson learnt. Last time she's invited to stay. Americans are just different

CocoapuffPuff · 09/04/2024 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AE9766 · 09/04/2024 07:43

I used to read an etiquette forum populated by a lot of Americans. One of the things they often said was that the "personal space bubble" was much bigger in America than other places - about six feet. So I always assumed that Americans developed the habit of speaking loudly to project their voices further across the gap as a result.

But even so, she should moderate it when she's not in that situation, and especially in another country.

It's like people who say "I have a loud voice that carries". Well, speak more quietly so that it doesn't then, nobody wants to hear it and it's rude to inflict it on other people.