Feel like ballet teacher is judging my parenting

I suspect there's a cultural barrier here and the teacher is yet to fully grasp what is culturally typical in the UK.

So neither of you is wrong but there is a problem with communication and understanding each other.

Why not? She’s perhaps led a disciplined life and can’t understand parents not pushing. Maybe she saw something in the ops dd.

The op can reply or move on. I’d personally laugh it off as my oldest dd quit everything she tried. I push my youngest a little more because she enjoys her club.

My DD trained full time as a ballet dancer and now teaches. I think she would agree with me that Russian ballet generally has a different ethos and the teachers are often very strict. Which is fine, for serious ballet students but not really what most people would want for young children dancing as a hobby. I would look for somewhere else if your DD is keen to dance. Most dance schools will have a focus learning through fun at this age. It would be a shame for this one teacher to put your DD off what can be a very enjoyable hobby when she is so young.

Well, I would hope a ballet teacher would come from a classically trained background!

This sounds just like my DCs music teacher (also Russian) - I think it’s just in their upbringing and background to be forthright and well exactly what you’ve said - very strict, direct, work hard, don’t give up. You know your child best and if ballet isn’t for her then don’t give a second thought as to what this woman thinks. I’m sure you will find a hobby that your daughter is better suited to. No point making her stick at something that clearly isn’t for her.

She sounds intense. Maybe she comes from a classically trained background where it’s taken incredibly seriously. I wouldn’t want it for my DD. It should be a bit of twirly fun at 5, surely.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion it’s a natural thing. Everyone is not however entitled to express that opinion, if it has nothing to do with you nor affects you greatly or your child, I strongly believe we should keep our opinions to ourselves.

Yes, I think that's the crux of it.

Don't overthink it. Nothing good can come from dragging a child to an activity they don't want to do

At 5 the lessons should be fun...they don't sound like they were and that's the teachers fault.

Maybe she would prefer tap lessons if there are any in your area..my dd did them at 5 and still does them 8 years later!

There's a ballet teacher close to us who is very strict, even at that age. 5 year olds who were scolded for not wearing their hair in the correct bun. Mine were never interested, but I know one child who stuck it out for a few years before quitting. Even her mother was scared of the ballet teacher.

Edit to add: yanbu to let your daughter quit. She should be trying lots of things and doing the ones she enjoys.

I wouldn't give it another thought. She probably has lots of people leave because they don't like it. That's on her.

My DD got selected for some kind of ballet trial. We went along and I was dreading her being selected. But she came straight out and said she didn't want to do it. I was more than happy with that!

My daughter (4) tried ballet recently. She initially enjoyed it and went long enough for me to buy the whole kit and pay for the next block of 8 more lessons, but ended up not wanting to go back. Absolutely fine (though the money lost was eye-watering), no pressure from us, and that was that. The teacher was very understanding about it too and said she's welcome back in the future if she changes her mind. That's the way it should be.

Unless you’re a helicopter parent, I don’t think that the dual differences of the discipline required for serious ballet as well as the culture of Russia would sit well with your child!
There are ballet schools that cater to younger children, and present ballet as fun, then there are some (and unfortunately the one you chose seemed to fall into the following category) whose only aim is preparation of only the most naturally gifted children for the Royal Ballet School and beyond…
Its sad because it’s likely to have put your DD off.

I agree. Send her back to that then

I don’t think it’s a criticism of your parenting, as such. It sounds to me she’s just very blunt and giving her unsolicited opinions. Which is rude, clearly, but not really an attack on your parenting. And even if it was, who cares? You know what’s right for your child, she doesn’t. Sod her!

It sounds to me as if she’s a very old school ballet teacher who takes it extremely seriously and is all about the discipline and sacrifice more than having fun - which isn’t what I’d want for a five-year-old, personally.

If your DD is full of energy, maybe she’d like to try something like gymnastics instead? Or a kids’ musical theatre group if she likes the performing element.

She's not entitled to share her opinion on a customer's child. Very unprofessional.

At this age it should be fully focused on fun. This doesn't sound like the right teacher for your Dd.

Eh? Everyone’s entitled to an opinion!

Nobody’s wrong. You’re interpreting the same situation differently.

My dsis was a ballet teacher and there’s no way she would have sent this!

My take is that the teacher is probably too strict & makes it a bit of a miserable experience for her

Both of my dc are ballet dancers, and I wouldn’t have sent them to a Russian school at 5. They both love Russian teachers now that they’re older teens/adults, but the strictness wouldn’t have been right for them at 5. At that age it should always be about doing it because it’s fun.