Neither parent wants to live with their child fulltime what happens?

Dad is a dick and a Disney dad who doesn’t want any responsibility. The child will know when they grow up that dad didn’t want to see them more than twice a month. Dad could do 2 days a week and that would help. The mum is doing something drastic and I applaud her for doing so to call him out

She's got a funny way of showing how much she loves him. The father should do his share but I can't fathom a mother letting her child know that he isn't wanted. That poor poor child. My mother was a widow with 3 kids, no one has us weeks or half the holidays but she never threatened us with foster care.

This is utterly heartbreaking

Absolutely.

It's so utterly selfish.

For social services to be involved, - it must be pretty serious.

Children are perceptive, and this poor child will know that neither parent wants them.

Parent is a role.
It is a role for life, one they both willingly chose, and now seem to be feeling fed up of.
That poor, poor child.

They’re both absolutely awful. And no, the burnt out mother doesn’t get a pass either.

No, I judge because when my husband left, he was living his own life, and wouldn't see son {a well behaved child}

I bloody well WILL judge.

World's tiniest violin for a 'mother' who wants rid of her child because she works and has health issues and wants a rest?

Cry me a river for a dumping mother.

I have zero sympathy - only with the needs of their poor child.

No, only an arsehole would say, 'well you've got one shit parent and I'm going to throw a strop now as it's not faair' honestly fucking shitbags pair of them.

Same here.

My ex husband was hopeless ,I asked my solicitor about a court making him see son more, and solicitor said no court would ever force a parent to see a child.

It's deeply hurtful for children.

The mother here IF she truly loved her child wouldn't be wanting to foist him off with Dad.

It's annoying when a parent won't see the child - but that's life for a lot of divorced parents.

I want to slap those parents with a *fluffy cushion

That's all I have to say.

They both need to get a grip and realise what absolute pair of *lovely human beings they are.

*Words used may not be the true reflection of actual thoughts. Actual thoughts may get account deleted.

Wow, both parents are shits in this situation.

Im a single parent and have an 8 year old and 10 year old with significant SEN and I work full time.

Their dad doesn’t do much I’m lucky if he consistently sees them EOW for 6 months in a row to be honest and my closest family member is a 3 hour round trip away. So I have very little sympathy to mums ‘stress’ to be honest.
It sounds like run of the mill parenting to me.

Children aren’t hobbies that you can dip in and out of. Surely they both thought when they were having this child ‘what happens if I end up as a single parent?’

I think both parents need to grow the fuck up before they cause this poor child long term damage

"Parent" is not a title.

Parents are ordinary people who try their best, mostly.

You don't know what does on in the mother's life and while the situation is awful for the child involved it's only an arsehole would judge.

Hm, yes except earlier you didn’t say that she wants 50/50 so she can see her child more, you said it was because she feels she does everything for them and it’s unfair that dad gets “all the fun”. Sounds more like she has had enough parenting and wants a break. Is this child particularly hard work?

Resident parent, I think. The one the child lives with

It sounds like the mother thinks she can bluff her way into getting dad to step up. I suspect Dad will call her bluff and hand the child to SS which will force the mother to back down.

No they bloody won't. The parents will need to sort their lives out and look after their child.

Yeah, because asking your partner to take the kids out for an hour or two is exactly the same as neither parent wanting to live with the child.

And whether or not the arguments have taken place in front of the child or not, the mother has decided that she wants her child to spend half of the week, every week, with a parent who has made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want them. Would you be happy with that for your children?

Also, does social services get involved when you ask your "reluctant" partner to look after his kids for a couple of hours? Thought not.

Whatever.

I have an absolutely terrible ex-husband who disappears for years (despite living in the same city as us) and has never paid any maintenance since my daughter was a baby (she is now 14). I work full time and do everything for my daughter. It would never even enter my head to send her away to her useless father to teach him a lesson or "make him step up". I love my daughter more than anything and she's not a piece of property to pass around when I'm tired.

Mother is just as shit as father.

''Mum thinks there should be more contact between the child and father and feels like she does everything for said child while father gets all the fun so she either wants a switch for awhile or 50/50 so it's more fair.
^^
Dad wants to keep the status quo and stick with previous arrangement of Every Other Weekend for 2 nights.''

My Goodness, this is appalling.

The parents are not worthy of the title ''Parent''.

Poor child.

Both parents sound selfish arseholes.

Step up and be a PARENT.

Eh? You can’t just “not want” your own child because the dad is shit? What if the dad wasn’t around because he died? She’s not a child, you don’t get to just stomp your feet and say it’s not fair. So what the dad is taking the easy life? Well that sucks sure, bitch about it. Feel resentful. Don’t abandon your kid

Do you honestly think that it'll have reached the level of involving ss and the school also having concerns that the child won't know about all this shit?

You're quite right. The OP said she's 'under a hell of a lot of pressure' barely sees her child due to her work hours and has a physical health condition. Absolutely nothing there to suggest the woman may be tired in the slightest. I just made it up.

Ten?! Ffs

oh ok thanks for putting us all straight . I’ll remember this next time I’m totally burnt out and ready to demand my reluctant DP take the kids off my hands for a while so I can work/ do life admin/ clean/ tidy/ cook/ rest.
Instead of asking for a desperately needed break, I’ll remind myself I’m a shitty parent and a despicable person and attempt to soldier on…

PS OP clarified the communication about this between the parents was over email and not in front of kid.

Nope. She doesn’t “love him more than anything in the world” as she is making him feel unwanted and highlighting that his own father cba being a parent. It’s her job to protect her son from that shit- not shove him towards it! This is coming from a previously single mum whose kids dad left literally as he “didn’t want to be a dad”… he had the kids maybe twice a year when his parents took them all away, paid minimal CSA money (pretended he was unemployed etc)… so yeah I know what it feels like to be the one doing everything and that was with two kids. But I would never ever have made the choices she has- they weren’t a burden to be offloaded.
I would be disgusted with this behaviour from any relative.