It's just laundry - nothing to be embarrassed about

How are you supposed to guess which bra belongs to which female? Especially if they're all the same/similar sizes?

Isn't that a bit of a cop out though, the person doing the job just has to use their head a bit?

When my mil comes to stay and her undies go through the laundry then I get the baulk. Maybe I'm just a raging entitled misogynist 🤷

Oh for fucks sake, over reaction much?! he's 17, a hormonal teen, literally everything will be embarrassing to him! (I know, I have a teen!) it's not about his life long attitude to women, it's about him not wanting to see his Mums undercrackers!

And I agree!
Putting things into piles as you take them off the airer is much more efficient way so I'm with him and DH on this.

Why would you not just make separate piles when you fold, making one big one then separating later is adding a completely unnecessary additional step.

I’d expect DS to be able to pick up a pile of my clothes that happened to include my underwear and put it on the bed for me to put away, but creating that pile by actually folding/individually handling/checking the label of my knickers to work out whose is whose would not be something I expected or wanted of him (or his sister).

But by 17 I’m rather hoping my DS will do his own laundry and each person will just be responsible for their own stuff.

I didn’t think of my dad/step-dad or brothers as an alien species but I would not have been sorting their undies for them as a teenager (or now?). Or my mum’s or sister’s for that matter. It’s somehow degrading 😂. Wouldn’t want my sons sorting my knickers either - very undignified for all concerned!

"Oh great, I get to handle the clothes that cover my mum's vagina and breasts"

Whole discussion is bizarre to me.
They're undies not sex toys.
Teenage boys need to understand that girls (including siblings and Mum) are not some alien species, and yes - they wear underwear.
When he has a partner is he not going to put their clean, dry underwear away either??

😂😂😂

I didn’t mean that.

I agree that it makes more sense for him to do his own washing at 17, then it's not your problem.

@ghostyslovesheets We have occasionally had an emergency wash of the clothes someone wants to wear tomorrow (but it would go on a short wash), but generally nobody finds that an efficient way to do their laundry!

I did tell him he needed to have decent load. We had also had a conversation about water and electric use.

I do it dhs way.

I’m mean who really would want to be trying to work out if these pants or this thong was mum or sisters and it doesn’t matter which way. No son wants to know his mum or sister has some sexy little red number 😂

I don’t want to sort my mothers laundry either nor her or my dads pants do I want in my hands 😂

From the other perspective, I hated my dad and brothers touching my underwear when I was a teenager.
I had absolutely no concerns about any nefarious activities but my underwear felt very private. So I can see where your DS is coming from and maybe there's a mutual feeling from your DDs as well?

YABU. Most teenage boys don't want to be touching their mum's knickers

I tried that and ended up with them putting a wash on for one pair of socks and a t shirt!

me to. I'd feel weird handling my mother's undies, and I'm a 35 year old woman!

I've solved that issue. My ds does his own laundry.

My ds is 24, he is very respectful towards women, has a girlfriend and female friends and is a fully functioning "normal" enough adult male. However, he would be very embarrassed if I asked him to handle my dirty and even clean big knickers and bras. It's just the way he is, also I don't think I'd like him rummaging through my dirty "not so" smalls to put a wash on. He puts his own stuff in the washer but I just know, without asking, that he wouldn't want to do mine.

Bit of an extrapolation there, to go from "teenage boy not wanting to spend time considering whether this skimpy thong belongs to my mother or my sister, and how about the 34dd bra?" To "He must be a deviant who doesn't respect women."

I agree with the other posters who have said dhs way sounds both more efficient and more likely to get the correct clothes to the right person.

YABU. The fact that there are two females in the house and he'd have to specifically examine each pair of knickers / bra to work out whether it's mum's or sister's does sound a bit cringe-making from the POV of a 17 year old. (Scratch that point if your DD is actually 5yo).

But give him another household job instead - this isn't a get out card from actual work.

Well come on. He’s being ridiculous 😂 The knickers are clean!

I absolutely hated being asked to handle my parents underwear when I was a child. One of my chores was folding the laundry and I just found it awful.

it may be one of the reasons I keep everyone’s laundry divided in my household instead of commingled.

i have asked dd if she would mind putting my bras up on the drying rack and she was legitimately ok with that, but she has pushed back at helping with loads of laundry containing her dad’s underwear or for having her dad handle her laundry and we are all ok with that. People should be able to set boundaries.

It’s perfectly understandable. My kids joke about ‘mum’s massive gross knickers’ and refuse to touch them (I’m a size 10). And if I’m helping my Mum and Dad at their house getting the washing in, I say ‘I’ll bring the washing in before it rains but I refuse to touch Dad’s pants!’ Obviously I do but it does give me the ick a bit.

Presumably someone has to deal with his skiddy boxers, his semen stained sheets and possibly his wank socks! I think he needs some help in overcoming his fragility about women. I suggest you ask him to buy some period products for female family members next time he nips down to the shop for some Pringles.

The issue is know whose stuff is whose. So DH leaves DDs underwear to me.... partly because half of it the same size.