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AIBU?

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Original poster

It's just laundry - nothing to be embarrassed about

213 replies

Aparecium · 08/04/2024 14:49

I took the family's clean laundry off the airer, folded it and put it in a basket. I gave the basket to 17yo ds and asked him to sort it and put piles of clean laundry on everyone's beds for them to put away.

When dh does the laundry, he either tells people to claim their kit straight from the airer, or he sorts it as he takes it off the airer, so the dc who distributes it just has to pick up ready-sorted piles.

Apparently ds told dh that he prefers dh's way, as he was embarrassed handling his mum's and his sister's underwear.

YANBU - it's just clean clothes and ds should be grateful he wasn't asked to put on a load as then he would be handling dirty laundry.

YABU - give the bashful teen boy a break.

OP posts:
Desecratedcoconut · 08/04/2024 16:31

Aparecium · 08/04/2024 16:25

Actually, this probably is about his attitude to women: he feels it is disrespectful and inappropriate of him to handle and look at our underwear.

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Hey, don't be trying to spin this into a story about a perfectly normal teen not wanting to have to grapple with his dm's and dsis's undies, remember...he's probably a workshy, woman-hating shit who will never be fit to merge into society. Remember, never give kids, especially boys, the benefit of the doubt...this is MN.

tothelefttotheleft · 08/04/2024 16:29

Moveoverdarlin · 08/04/2024 15:08

It’s perfectly understandable. My kids joke about ‘mum’s massive gross knickers’ and refuse to touch them (I’m a size 10). And if I’m helping my Mum and Dad at their house getting the washing in, I say ‘I’ll bring the washing in before it rains but I refuse to touch Dad’s pants!’ Obviously I do but it does give me the ick a bit.

Why would your kids describe them like that and talk to you like that?

DanielGault · 08/04/2024 16:28

Desecratedcoconut · 08/04/2024 16:22

It's not about what men can't possibly do .... it's what kids of both sexes would rather not do and, when there are a thousand jobs that can be done to help around the house, I think the op's dhs method is preferable.

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Well it's personal preference isn't it I suppose? Personally, I think it's better not to encourage a fear (for want of a better word) of things related to the opposite sex.

Original poster
Aparecium · 08/04/2024 16:25

Mummame2222 · 08/04/2024 15:02

That’s pathetic. Is his attitude towards women in general poor?

Actually, this probably is about his attitude to women: he feels it is disrespectful and inappropriate of him to handle and look at our underwear.

OP posts:
Desecratedcoconut · 08/04/2024 16:22

DanielGault · 08/04/2024 16:14

It's not achieving enlightenment fgs, it's teaching him to be a grown up. And not indulging stupid attitudes about what men 'can't possibly do'. Very simple really, far from 'enlightenment'.

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It's not about what men can't possibly do .... it's what kids of both sexes would rather not do and, when there are a thousand jobs that can be done to help around the house, I think the op's dhs method is preferable.

ForSnappyFatball · 08/04/2024 16:17

Mummame2222 · 08/04/2024 16:07

I have. I said I was wrong 😊

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Ah, then much respect to you as it is hard to admit we're wrong, rarely happens in RL and even less frequently happens on MN.

You're a good person. May the sun always shine on you ✨️ 🙏 💛

DanielGault · 08/04/2024 16:14

Desecratedcoconut · 08/04/2024 16:12

Oh, this idea that he will achieve some degree of enlightenment by sorting the undie pile is being really over-egged.

It's not achieving enlightenment fgs, it's teaching him to be a grown up. And not indulging stupid attitudes about what men 'can't possibly do'. Very simple really, far from 'enlightenment'.

ivs · 08/04/2024 16:13

Mrsjayy · 08/04/2024 15:02

I mean when we had 3 females in the house my dh wouldn't know who's bras was who's.

Really?

I have 2 DS and I know which pants belong to which DS

wplaf · 08/04/2024 16:13

I wouldn't ask my 18yo ds to handle my underwear or my 16yo dd's underwear.
Neither would I ask my 16yo dd to handle my ds's or dh's underwear.

So I think YABU, sorry.

Desecratedcoconut · 08/04/2024 16:12

Oh, this idea that he will achieve some degree of enlightenment by sorting the undie pile is being really over-egged.

Sisforsmile · 08/04/2024 16:09

i Can understand his embarrassment but he needs to get over it. So while he may prefer DH way I think it’s time for him to start doing his share of the family laundry etc. It will save him any discomfort in all types of scenarios in the years ahead!

Mummame2222 · 08/04/2024 16:07

ForSnappyFatball · 08/04/2024 16:03

Oh chill out and take a day off.

I, as a teen girl didn't like seeing/handling my Mums knickers as they often had usual menstruation stains in them.

And still, decades later I think my Mum was dirty for putting unwrapped used sanitary towels in the indoors bin that I and my brother would see.

It's nothing to do with having a poor attitude to women, just that some things should be private.

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I have. I said I was wrong 😊

DanielGault · 08/04/2024 16:06

Mrsjayy · 08/04/2024 16:00

Tbf we did what the Ops husband does and just sorted our own stuff from a basket.

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We were stuck doing it all, mums and dad's included. A bit ick but not damaging! I suppose we didn't know any different. And if didn't do it, it would have all been left to mum. Dad wouldn't have dreamed of lowering himself to do washing.

ForSnappyFatball · 08/04/2024 16:03

Mummame2222 · 08/04/2024 15:02

That’s pathetic. Is his attitude towards women in general poor?

Oh chill out and take a day off.

I, as a teen girl didn't like seeing/handling my Mums knickers as they often had usual menstruation stains in them.

And still, decades later I think my Mum was dirty for putting unwrapped used sanitary towels in the indoors bin that I and my brother would see.

It's nothing to do with having a poor attitude to women, just that some things should be private.

Librarybooker · 08/04/2024 16:01

Hasn’t he got important school work to do? A much better use of his time.

Mrsjayy · 08/04/2024 16:00

DanielGault · 08/04/2024 15:40

Isn't that a bit of a cop out though, the person doing the job just has to use their head a bit?

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Tbf we did what the Ops husband does and just sorted our own stuff from a basket.

redalex261 · 08/04/2024 16:00

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 08/04/2024 15:04

Good point. Is your son a terrible person? I think that's what the OP was getting at. LTB

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Is your MN name meant to be ironic?

Desecratedcoconut · 08/04/2024 15:58

Saymyname28 · 08/04/2024 15:53

I wouldn't want to handle either of my parents undies and I'm a full grown woman.

I don't think a 16 year old boy should have to work out which bra or thongs belong to his mother or his sister.

Nor would I, but then I'm the type of person who would rather stick my head in a blender than float the words 'dirty butt plug' past my mother.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 08/04/2024 15:56

Mummame2222 · 08/04/2024 15:02

That’s pathetic. Is his attitude towards women in general poor?

Not even sure where you're going with this.

Original poster
Aparecium · 08/04/2024 15:55

Dh's method would be more efficient if we had the space to make all the piles as the clothes were removed. But there isn't the space. It works out as remove and fold all of one person's things one at a time, then the next person's things etc. Things always get missed and discovered in the middle of another person's things. Ditto when everyone takes only their own things.

Ds doesn't get uncomfortable when pegging out, but then I suppose he doesn't have to actually look at and think about the pants etc.

As a teenager I didn't get a choice. I did housework. I helped my mum. Yes, I got the ick about handling df's and db's pants, but I just got on with it.

I don't have any worries about my boy's attitude to women 😄

OP posts:
Saymyname28 · 08/04/2024 15:53

I wouldn't want to handle either of my parents undies and I'm a full grown woman.

I don't think a 16 year old boy should have to work out which bra or thongs belong to his mother or his sister.

Pogointospring · 08/04/2024 15:49

DanielGault · 08/04/2024 15:40

Isn't that a bit of a cop out though, the person doing the job just has to use their head a bit?

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At one point while I lived at home my sister and I wore nearly same size bra and had fairly similar taste. I’d have been pretty alarmed if my Dad or brother knew that mine would usually be nude though if it was black with lace it was mine but if it was without lace it was hers, mine was the 34c if it was from Debenhams but 36B if it was M&S and hers was the 32c, except if it was from M&S when it was 34c…

By the time bras are being worn people are old enough to do their own laundry, or at least collect their own from the rack.

BettyShagter · 08/04/2024 15:48

His feelings are his feelings and I don't think they should be dismissed out of hand.

I'm sure when he grows up he'll feel differently.

Mummame2222 · 08/04/2024 15:45

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 08/04/2024 15:38

Oh for fucks sake, over reaction much?! Hmmhe's 17, a hormonal teen, literally everything will be embarrassing to him! (I know, I have a teen!) it's not about his life long attitude to women, it's about him not wanting to see his Mums undercrackers!

And I agree!
Putting things into piles as you take them off the airer is much more efficient way so I'm with him and DH on this.

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lol okie dokes I’m clearly wrong 🤦‍♀️

KnackeredBack · 08/04/2024 15:44

Laughing here. I've just asked 2 of my DC (23M and 19F) and they're of the opinion that unless you're asking him to clean your dirty butt plug, your DS is an "absolute wetwipe".