It's just laundry - nothing to be embarrassed about

Well you're as good as I am for seeing the imaginary stuff aren't you?

Boy doesn't want to rifle through his mams knickers and accused of misogyny! I would be worried if he was comfy doing it to be honest.

Women and men need these boundaries. It keeps women safe. He sounds like a lovely lovely young man to me.

What did you read that I didn't write?

I'm saying the propensity for people to insist that the very smallest of things are catalysts or indicators of very big and often dramatic consequences is enough to set any kid on edge.

One minute he doesn't want to get up close to his mum and sisters undies the next minute he has been chalked up as a man who has woman hating tendencies, he has a future wife who resents him and he's not very useful in society. I mean, please. It's too much.

Some people (possibly) confusing 'must do men's washing ' with 'it makes more sense to put on a load together '. And if you need to put on a load at a particular time, it might require gathering up some jocks.

I think I would be worried if he wanted to get his hands on his mum’s and sisters’ lacy underthings. A teenage boy thinking it is embarrassing is a relief.

Reading the replies here, I'm really pleased that nobody in my family is the slightest bit precious about putting away anyone else's freshly washed underwear! I can't believe people are saying they find it icky or weird. Generations of women have washed their whole family's clothes and underwear and managed not to find it a problem.

Strangers bodily fluids wouldn't be any more pleasant or unpleasant than family members imo. They're all manky.

Yeah but who wants to touch anyone's dirty clothes out of choice? @OhmygodDont

I'm just interested what all the replies would be then.

False equivalence - people working in laundrettes aren't usually handling their family members knickers.

To quote my dd “I don’t want to touch his crusty musty socks or pants” and that stands for dirty into the machine or clean off the line 😂 they are not actually crusty nor musty. Well maybe musty is dirty I guess.

Your DH method is easier but I do your method. I can see why your son is embarrassed I would imagine most teenage boys would be.

Don't worry too much my husband has a habit of putting my underwear in my 4 year old daughters drawers 🤣. My daughter thinks it's hilarious finding mummy's big bloomers in her drawers. No idea how he gets confused between small pink unicorn pants and huge black granny pants 🤣

Try reading it again

How would this thread have gone if a dd wasn't wanting to sort her dad and brother's laundry?

Huh? I do suffer from anxiety as it happens but I'm sure it wasn't doing the washing that caused it?

Not really since hopefully husbands or partners wouldn't be expected to or asked to handle their Mum or sister's knickers but just the womans knickers they were happily getting into.

But go off I guess 🤷

Think of people in launderettes. And hotels. They get on with it. I'm sure it's not fun, but it's a job that's got to be done. So they do it and don't seem seem to be hugely traumatized (Dot Cotton lasted for years 😂)

Tsk tsk. Doom. And more doom for you.

Two issues here: whose way of doing laundry is better, and is your DS unreasonable to be embarrassed by your/DD's knickers?

Like your DH, I sort and fold everything as it comes off the dryer so I can just shove it in the relevant drawer when upstairs. My DH makes a big show of doing the washing then leaves all the dry stuff in a disorganised pile on the kitchen island for me to take upstairs and sort. Drives me nuts. So obviously I think your DH is correct.

As for your DS - he's a 17 year old boy, of course he's embarrassed at having to handle his mum's underwear! Might be kinder not to make him do it, but I'm sure he'll survive either way.

But needs don't must. Needs can be achieved in an alternative manner - as pointed out by the op's dh.

No wonder we have a generation of kids who are broken by anxiety when no act of disgruntlement is so small it cannot be amplified to some high stake act of prophetic doom.

Honestly 🙄

Ok. This was the point I was trying to make!!

I didn’t realise sorting mums pants was a life lesson that I needed to teach my son as to not upset his future wife 😂 I just Chuck his clean washing on his bed frankly for him to sort, do the same with my girls 😱.

Really? And yet, here I am, the girl who only fetched her own undies from the washing basket, defying the odds as a functioning, and not at all useless, member of my household.

This is true. Most of my friends agree the first thing most people look for in a man is the ability to sort their families underwear.

You're the one spinning here tbh. Obviously it's not a fun, enjoyable job doing anyone's laundry. But lots of things in life are of the 'take a deep breath and get on with it's variety'. Needs must. The sooner kids learn that the better.

A lot of people in this thread are raising men who will be utterly useless to their future wives. Good job. 🙄