To think I’m entitled to child maintenance?

Hmm I found the calculator to be pretty accurate. And definitely put in a claim, try to be as accurate as you can about number of nights your child is in his care. The nights are the important bit in a CMS claim. Most of all though, don’t let this dick push you around.

As long as you both have equal opportunity to work etc. then both parents should be funding themselves surely?

Well yes, but plenty of people think the majority of money should come from the man, heaven knows why

He is potentially going to be cutting off his nose to spite his face if he insists he won't pay anything. You probably need to have a chat to highlight what everyone is saying about clothing and uniform, and also make it clear that his nights are his nights so he would need to arrange childcare if his shifts change, you will no longer do it. Hopefully he will realise what a prat he is being and you can come to some sort of arrangement without the need for cms.

If he doesn't change his stance then you may as well put a claim in. You literally have £0 to lose by doing so and don't provide any of the freebies you have been.

But if it's 50/50 why should he?

He’s correct, you need to make sure her costs are split 50-50 for school uniform etc

If it’s 50/50 then no he shouldn’t have to pay you anything

I'd definitely put the claim in and see what happens. If it comes back that he owes nothing, at least you know?

Beyond that, I would be very clear that he pays full costs for the time she is with him, so e.g. don't send her with any school uniform, spare clothes etc, so he has to buy all of this for her at his house. I wouldn't send toiletries etc, either, so he has to provide all of this.

If possible, any clubs/school trips etc discuss, and ask him to pay 50%.

Any childcare etc that he needs on his days, he pays for. If you pick up extra nights because he is doing shifts etc, keep a record of this, as if you do end up doing more nights, you're more likely to be able to make a claim.

When he has your dd, you don't need to provide anything, no clothes, toiletries.
My ex paid me a small amount of maintenance for 4dc, I accepted this as didn't want to fleece the bloke, since I wanted the split. He then started telling me what to send for the kids, I'd told him so many times he had to start providing clothes. He went mad, I also applied cms. he then stopped having them over night as he couldn't afford to clothe them. CMS awarded me 4 times what he was paying. Been separated over 15 years now and he only has to pay for 1 child but I still get a decent amount and he still doesn't have them overnight, infact only the boys see him occasionally.

I don't know the answer but you should also consider all additional costs which I suspect you pay for without thinking about such as school uniform, clothes, shoes, toys, hobbies. If he wants to be a total dick then make sure you tot all of those costs up and demand half. I highly doubt he has clothes stashed at his place that he has paid for to completely clothe your child for the entirety of their stay with him.

Pit in a claim, it can’t hurt at this point, can it?

Also, don’t allow him to use you as convenient, free, default carer when he’s working unless there is a benefit to you. Make sure the days and times you have your DC give you as much freedom to build a career as they do him.

Come on! Who’s buying the clothes, shoes etc? Who’s buying the book bag and sending it along?

If it’s genuinely 50/50 and he provides his own equipment and everything needed then maybe, but many men expect everything packed.

Parents should be providing proportional to their income - that's why CM is a percentage of income not a flat rate. It's a perfectly fair system and one that the CMS is based on.

Just put a claim in. If he has to pay he'll find out. If he doesn't they'll just say they won't process it.

The unfortunate answer is you are probably not entitled to anything, but it’s not a definite no, and he’s correct that in instances of 50/50 the online calculators aren’t reliable.

It really does depend on the circumstances case by case when there is 50/50, it may be worth you giving CMS a call yourself to get some proper advice. He will be notified if you put a claim in.

the calculator's front page says
"You will not have anything to pay through the Child Maintenance Service if you are:

• sharing care equally with the other parent
• a full-time student with no income
• in prison"

If you're doing 50/50 residency then you need to make sure he's also buying half of her clothes and things. But he's right that he doesn't have to give you money.

If it's 50/50 then I don't see how you would be entitled to anything, but I'm not expert.

As long as you both have equal opportunity to work etc. then both parents should be funding themselves surely?

@Blondeyoghurt your child may, in fact, be entitled. Please do your own research, don't think he'll be necessarily giving you the correct advice. 😊

https://watson-thomas.co.uk/help-and-advice/31-help-and-advice-children/182-child-maintenance-when-you-have-an-equal-share-in-parenting

eta current calculator; www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

You won’t lose anything by putting in a claim, the worst that’ll happen is you’ll get nothing, which is what you’ll also get by not putting a claim in.

How much is an extremely healthy wage?

If we are talking a seriously significant amount most people would contribute to their child living a decent quality of life regardless if they were physically with them or not. I certainly would want my money to benefit my children above anything else.

You have nothing to loose by at least putting in for the claim. The worst that can happen is they can say no you're not entitled to any CMS.

But he is paying for his child if he has it 50% of the time…. Why should one person pay the other person if they’re both doing equal parenting?

I mean, if you genuinely care 50/50 each why would you be entitled to maintenance and not him? Why shouldn't you pay him? Just because he earns more?