To think I’m entitled to child maintenance?

I'd tell him actually we do 60/40 due to your job, but I will apply myself and see what happens, but why an earth a man who earns what you do begrudges his child anything is beyond me, but let's see what happens.

Apart from the fact ,loads of women can't afford to squirrel away money from the family
It's just typical.mumsnet ,if a man squirels away money he's financially abusive, but if women does it its perfectly acceptable as its a ," running away fund" .

I don’t understand if he has the child 50% of the time, why you feel you are entitled to child maintenance? What he earns to you is irrelevant.

It is acceptable for women to have a get away fund because that is an entirely different situation to squirrelling away money to get out of contributing fairly to your children.

So no, your point has not been proven at all because your point is entirely irrelevant to the context of this thread.

I was replying to the poster who said some men are determined to keep their money hidden away from their wives
By pointing out that some posters seem to think it's perfectly acceptable the other way round
You have just proved my point
How mumsnet is full of hypocrisy.

‘Hi DDs dad, I appreciate what you’re telling me, and I’m sure you’ll appreciate that I need to check it out for myself. So I’ve applied to CMS, you’ll hear from them if they consider that you need to pay maintenance.”

If he's stopping paying then HE is rocking the boat. Of course you put the claim in in that scenario, nothing to lose

This is the most stupid thing I've read in a long time - think about why some women would benefit from having a get away fund for goodness sake.

I really don't think it's so they can get out of paying for their kids, do you?

I've not read the posts but I've got a lot of recent knowledge in this area.

My partner does 50/50 down the middle with his ex.
He pays half of all costs for uniform; school trips, lunches, hairdressers etc.
He pays for wrap around care on his days. He earns approx £8k more than her.
Because she claims the child benefit (simply because he goes over the threshold and she is under) she is classed as "primary carer" and can therefore make a CMS claim. It's absolutely bullshit. She shouldn't be entitled to it but the CMS system is a joke in many ways and he has to pay her £400 a month for absolutely no reason, other than her being classed as primary carer.

And yet just last week on a thread women were being advised to have a " running away" fund ,just in case they should ever need and most posters thought that it was perfectly acceptable for women to have several thousand squirreled away but that's perfectly acceptable apparently.

If ops dh is a high earner, are you claiming child benefit ? As you’d not be entitled to any money (you’ve to return it all). I stopped claiming mine last year for example as I hate doing the self assessment

There's more to bringing up a child than "doing your bit".

Is he wanting several years of painstakingly splitting bills for all her clothing, clubs, shoes, presents for friends' parties, etc? What if you disagree with him on anything? A friend of mine had to produce receipts of everything she bought - it was awful.

They aren’t if everything is truly 50/50. As far as I’m aware you can have a situation where there is no ‘paying parent’. But it’s up to the OPs ex to sort that with CMS not the OP. I assume that’s why the calculator is less accurate with 50/50.

If he’s not a deadbeat Dad or Disney Dad it shouldn’t be an issue.

You either work it out amongst yourselves or HMRC decides who is in receipt of it.

It really isn't about subsidizing anyone, it should always be about the quality of life for your joint child.

All the tit for tat is meaningless.

That's not what OP said.

Oh and also - he was apparently told that the calculator you can use online is incorrect?

It is correct that's what it goes off. Dont listen to him.

No idea but much less than me

I do 50/50 with my higher earning ex, he doesn’t pay maintenance. He does pay for clothes , activities etc. on his time tbh I think I’m better off since he’s bee doing a fair share as my costs have reduced and I can work more. More than balances out lost maintenance

So which parent gets to claim the child benefit? As the higher paying parent why would you willingly let the other parent claim CB if it means you have to pay maintenance?

I'm not trying to defend deadbeat dads but I genuinely don't understand why this is the case. Both parents have as much opportunity to work as each other. Why is one expected to subsidise the other?

The problem with 50/50 no maintenance is that in this case it is likely the actual costs of the child will not be split equally. The OP can say all she wants to her ex "you need to pay half of the school uniform" or "she needs new shoes please pay half" but what does she do if he refuses? Go back to court for a school uniform? If he won't pay he knows his child won't go without - as her mother will make sure she has what she needs. If OP won't pay, she knows her child will go shoeless or uniformless.

Also is he really going to do 50 % of the school drop offs and pick up? 50 percent of holiday clubs or activities? 50% of the actual work.

I think the OP knows damn well that he won't - she has already said that it is more like 75% at the moment so she will be screwed financially.

I thought we’d already covered this upthread. I don’t think both parents can put in a claim. Only the one claiming the Child benefit. Both parents can’t be the ‘paying parent’.

This isn't true, it depends who is claiming the child benefit.

Will he be going 50/50 on clothes/ Christmas/ activities?

They are not subsidising it, they are paying for their child. The OP’s ex doesn’t have to pay maintenance if he can show he’s paying 50% of costs and daily care e.g. appointments, taking time off work when the child is ill etc.

If he doesn’t want to, or can’t prove that then CMS will work out a proportion of his wage and then subtract whatever is necessary for the fact that he has his DD for half the nights. Which isn’t all of it. A system that presumably exists because the powers that are aware that overnights is a broad measure that doesn’t really take into account who is doing the actual parenting.

For the same reason most people think the woman should be the home maker and look after the children more than the male does