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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To decline weighing

163 replies

diiidum · 08/04/2024 14:13

I’ve just had my booking appt for my first pregnancy and I declined to be weighed and measured height wise. I am a healthy weight and size 10 and have an active lifestyle but don’t believe BMI is particularly useful. My sister was weighed and developed a bit of an obsession with the number on the scale and still has it to this day.

I came to this conclusion after research. Sara Wickham did a post about it recently on instagram, saying even if you had a ‘high BMI’ risk doesn’t usually change. At my appointment they were remarking on how low risk I was until that point but they said they will have to ask the consultant if they are happy for me not to be weighed, otherwise I’ll be high risk and might not get to birth where I would like.

WIBU here? If it’s a big deal I can always get weighed at the next appointment, that’s what I thought to myself. In the end they asked me to let them know what I was when I last weighed myself and then said I looked about that now, but they will note all that down and that I declined being weighed today.

I don’t want to be misinformed so doing lots of research on everything relating to pregnancy really, and reading all the books and internet sources I can.

Was I wrong to decline? Is there benefit to them working out BMI?

OP posts:
Bowlercoaster · 08/04/2024 14:26

It's up to you.

NeverBeforeToday · 08/04/2024 14:26

If you think you might be at risk from an eating disorder perhaps mention that. If you have issues around weight and eating it’s important they know. They could help seek support from a perinatal MH midwife.

For most other women, weighing in pregnancy is not a negative thing.

JANetChick · 08/04/2024 14:26

I don’t think you’re overreacting given that you’ve seen someone close develop MH issues around weight. That must’ve been difficult to watch.

Is BMI being questioned by reputable people now?

Iwouldlikesomecake · 08/04/2024 14:24

If you’re genuinely visibly ‘a healthy weight’ then I’d be surprised if anyone is going to be concerned about place of birth without a BMI on record but it is needed for the score to see if you’re at risk of thromboembolism, it’s needed for the combined screening test (the actual value on the day, not just a BMI calc).

so yanbu for not wanting to ascribe too much value to BMI (Sara Wickham is very good at explaining all this I agree) but it’s not just that which it’s useful for. And if you have no issue with being weighed for a specific clinical person then YANBU to that too.

Mummame2222 · 08/04/2024 14:23

diiidum · 08/04/2024 14:21

I think BMI is outdated personally, not that mine would be high, but I don’t want to become like my sister did.

It is. But you’re pregnant so tracking it is important. Are you particularly muscular? Because if most of your weight is body fat it’s more useful.

teenboymom · 08/04/2024 14:21

I'm a midwife. In my hospital we only weigh at booking. Not in UK so could be different. But it's to 1 see if you are high risk for different pregnancy associated conditions but also just to dose your medications if needed.

I don't think it's a big deal tbh. If they weigh at every apt, maybe then decline along the way but they can only benefit from having your booking weight.

Alloveragain3 · 08/04/2024 14:21

If you genuinely felt it would be a negative thing for your mental health, fair enough

Otherwise, it's a drama for no reason and I find it a bit odd tbh. The staff aren't there to judge you, they're literally collecting medical data relevant to your pregnancy with the aim of keeping you and your baby safe and healthy.

diiidum · 08/04/2024 14:21

Headtothestreets · 08/04/2024 14:19

Why are you making it potentially harder for the medical professionals to give you, and your baby, the best care?

I think BMI is outdated personally, not that mine would be high, but I don’t want to become like my sister did.

OP posts:
imtoooldforthisshite · 08/04/2024 14:21

Oh Lord what a fuss. It's not all about you, it's about the safety of your baby too. You have months left of being pregnant/ giving birth/ postpartum/ new born baby. Now you have made it potentially difficult about your choice of hospital / being labelled a 'high risk birth' ...pick you battles

Headtothestreets · 08/04/2024 14:19

Why are you making it potentially harder for the medical professionals to give you, and your baby, the best care?

Mummame2222 · 08/04/2024 14:17

YBU.

diiidum · 08/04/2024 14:17

dontdropthefuckingquiche · 08/04/2024 14:16

I think this is all very dramatic..

I'd just get weighed.

Can also help if you need an emergency GA with how much they give you etc.

They did their own estimate anyway and said based on what I last was they don’t think it’s changed.

OP posts:
dontdropthefuckingquiche · 08/04/2024 14:16

I think this is all very dramatic..

I'd just get weighed.

Can also help if you need an emergency GA with how much they give you etc.

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