Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decline weighing

163 replies

diiidum · 08/04/2024 14:13

I’ve just had my booking appt for my first pregnancy and I declined to be weighed and measured height wise. I am a healthy weight and size 10 and have an active lifestyle but don’t believe BMI is particularly useful. My sister was weighed and developed a bit of an obsession with the number on the scale and still has it to this day.

I came to this conclusion after research. Sara Wickham did a post about it recently on instagram, saying even if you had a ‘high BMI’ risk doesn’t usually change. At my appointment they were remarking on how low risk I was until that point but they said they will have to ask the consultant if they are happy for me not to be weighed, otherwise I’ll be high risk and might not get to birth where I would like.

WIBU here? If it’s a big deal I can always get weighed at the next appointment, that’s what I thought to myself. In the end they asked me to let them know what I was when I last weighed myself and then said I looked about that now, but they will note all that down and that I declined being weighed today.

I don’t want to be misinformed so doing lots of research on everything relating to pregnancy really, and reading all the books and internet sources I can.

Was I wrong to decline? Is there benefit to them working out BMI?

OP posts:
Saytheyhear · 08/04/2024 16:42

"They" will have to ask the consultant if "they are happy" for you to decline?!
I would cancel all further appointments with this maternity team and look else where.
They seem to forget whose body it is and who is birthing.
You're doing a fabulous job standing firm. Decline away! Dr. Sara Wickham's research is so detailed and up to date.

genesis92 · 08/04/2024 16:37

I was weighed but just asked not to see. They were fine with it. They need to know but I don't unless I was obese

Ihearyousingingdownthewire · 08/04/2024 16:36

I was never weighed in pregnancy. They just asked me what I thought I was at the beginning.

Angelsrose · 08/04/2024 16:35

Maybe you could be weighed but look away so you're not aware of the number? Many patients feel more comfortable doing this and it's perfectly OK. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Tukto · 08/04/2024 16:29

FofB · 08/04/2024 16:24

I just wanted to add- I vomited so much during my pregnancy, I was losing weight. It was useful for them to monitor me and know if they needed to think about intervening.

Same here. I was admitted to hospital with both pregnancies and lost a lot of weight.
At 40 weeks I weighed 5lb heavier than before pregnancy. Fortunately the baby was a healthy 8.5lb.

FofB · 08/04/2024 16:24

I just wanted to add- I vomited so much during my pregnancy, I was losing weight. It was useful for them to monitor me and know if they needed to think about intervening.

fashionqueen1183 · 08/04/2024 16:22

Once you get past a certain point they measure the bump too. Pregnancy has all kinds of things like this. Unless you have an eating disorder I can’t see why you’d care how much you weigh? Do you not know roughly already anyway?

EasterIssland · 08/04/2024 16:11

Targeted ads on this thread ? 🤔

if you don’t want to know the number (which I agree with you regarding bmi). I’d just tell them not to tell you the number and anything regarding the weight (you should loose weight/ put on weight advice)

To decline weighing
Original poster
diiidum · 08/04/2024 16:11

rainbowunicorn · 08/04/2024 16:08

You say in a earlier post that you came to the conclusion it wasn't needed due to the research you have done. Your research couldn't have been particularly robust because you seem surprised now that people are telling you the reasons for it. Perhaps leaving it to the professionals to guide you would be a better idea. Research is a word thrown about on mumsnet all the time. The reality of most of this research that is undertaken by your average person is that it will be skewed to their own needs. It is very rare that proper robust research weighing up all the information is done by the average person claiming to have done their research.

Show quote history

You’re right, as I’ve said there’s lots for me to learn and I have reflected

OP posts:
Original poster
diiidum · 08/04/2024 16:10

jannier · 08/04/2024 16:09

Do you feel you have mental health issues? Otherwise why would you develop her issues? Don't you think she might have become obsessive over something else?

Show quote history

No, and maybe you’re right. It’s just hard when you watch someone close to you experience that!

OP posts:
jannier · 08/04/2024 16:09

diiidum · 08/04/2024 14:21

I think BMI is outdated personally, not that mine would be high, but I don’t want to become like my sister did.

Show quote history

Do you feel you have mental health issues? Otherwise why would you develop her issues? Don't you think she might have become obsessive over something else?

rainbowunicorn · 08/04/2024 16:08

diiidum · 08/04/2024 14:33

I wasn’t aware of this! I might send them a message and get weighed in that case. I wasn’t trying to be that patient I just really didn’t think it was necessary and didn’t want to take any risk towards being anxious over it like my sister was. Thanks all.

Show quote history

You say in a earlier post that you came to the conclusion it wasn't needed due to the research you have done. Your research couldn't have been particularly robust because you seem surprised now that people are telling you the reasons for it. Perhaps leaving it to the professionals to guide you would be a better idea. Research is a word thrown about on mumsnet all the time. The reality of most of this research that is undertaken by your average person is that it will be skewed to their own needs. It is very rare that proper robust research weighing up all the information is done by the average person claiming to have done their research.

Bumblebeeinatree · 08/04/2024 16:08

I would have thought it was mainly just to track how much weight you gain during the pregnancy and whether it is much more or much less than expected and could lead to any problems for you or the baby. Will you stop them measuring the bump too?

Nicole1111 · 08/04/2024 16:02

If you’re worried about getting obsessed with the number, just tell them you’re happy to be weighed but that you would rather not know your weight so you’ll look away when you’re being weighed and ask them not to show you the figure.

maudelovesharold · 08/04/2024 15:49

Your weight is just your weight, the same as your feet are just your feet.

Kind of…except you can’t change your shoe size, and there isn’t the same kind of angst about being a size 7, rather than a size 5!

neverenoughplants · 08/04/2024 15:48

BMI is outdated, but that doesn't mean it has absolutely no correlation with risk. Better to know in advance whether you're at increased risk of shoulder dystocia for example (as that would make a home birth more risky).

You could get them to weigh you and not tell you the number? If your BMI is fine then great. If it's high then they don't need to tell you that number either, but can still counsel you about risk.

Original poster
diiidum · 08/04/2024 15:43

Boobettes · 08/04/2024 15:35

Like the NHS staff don't have enough to deal with without your unnecessary dramatics 🙄

I’m sure none of them will lose sleep over it.

OP posts:
Original poster
diiidum · 08/04/2024 15:42

ShortLivedComment · 08/04/2024 15:37

Fair play to you OP. I love an OP who asks a question then re-evaluates their position.

My kids are adults now and even though I thought I was always a chilled and relaxed Mum I look back over things and can see I was a bit uptight about things that I would not bother about now that I'm older and wiser.

One of the best things you can do for your kids is to enjoy being a Mum. (I understand that's Not always possible but you can try)

Thank you. I’ve got a lot to learn, this site is useful sometimes - particularly the constructive comments though, not the unkind ones

OP posts:
LawksALordyMyBottomsOnFire · 08/04/2024 15:37

diiidum · 08/04/2024 14:33

I wasn’t aware of this! I might send them a message and get weighed in that case. I wasn’t trying to be that patient I just really didn’t think it was necessary and didn’t want to take any risk towards being anxious over it like my sister was. Thanks all.

Show quote history

You're already anxious like your sister was or this wouldn't even be a 'thing' for you.

Your weight is just your weight, the same as your feet are just your feet.

ShortLivedComment · 08/04/2024 15:37

Fair play to you OP. I love an OP who asks a question then re-evaluates their position.

My kids are adults now and even though I thought I was always a chilled and relaxed Mum I look back over things and can see I was a bit uptight about things that I would not bother about now that I'm older and wiser.

One of the best things you can do for your kids is to enjoy being a Mum. (I understand that's Not always possible but you can try)

ABwithAnItch · 08/04/2024 15:36

I wasn’t weighed at all during my pregnancy.

Boobettes · 08/04/2024 15:35

Like the NHS staff don't have enough to deal with without your unnecessary dramatics 🙄

Scottishgirl85 · 08/04/2024 15:22

You sound difficult. Let the professionals do their job without all the fuss.

Rosesanddaisies1 · 08/04/2024 15:20

I was going to say that they have to weigh you for the chromosome screening if you want it (offered at 12 week scan). But I think they use your weight for that, not your BMI. You could just not look at the scales if you prefer? I didn't look, not on purpose, I was just chatting to the midwife.

Sophie3003 · 08/04/2024 15:18

I have been weighed each time, I think it is important for my monitoring but I choose not to know or weigh myself at home as I put on half my body weight again last time and knowing just how big I got (I am usually a 4ft 11 size 6 petite person!) I didn't want to be obsessed with it at home and cause myself any unnecessary stress!

Swipe left for the next trending thread