To decline weighing

Can I ask if women’s bodies work so well, why was childbirth so dangerous years ago?
I do believe in reading and doing your own research.

The stats I quote there are from NHS maternity statistics. So from the horses mouth so to speak. I have an allied health science degree so I do understand how to read research also.

I don't believe the problem is women and too fat and too old to give birth safely now.

I always try and imagine I was having a conversation with a friend when I type on the internet but I have to say I am finding this thread utterly depressing at how gaslit so many women are that "the system" has its best interests at heart. The figures about what happens to women and babies in birth, and levels of birth trauma, just don't stack up to show that this is true.

We just simply wouldn't exist as the human race if we were really as incapable of giving birth as the stats show. The problem is the system is shit, full of fear, and based on a premise that women's bodies don't work. They do.

I birthed the system's way once - I ended up with an induction, forceps, an episiotomy that tore into a third degree tear and a postpartum haemorrhage. Not that surprising really when you look at the facts of what happens to first time mums. This was to avoid my baby having "shoulder dystocia". I birthed my second two alone at home. The concept that my baby was less likely to get stuck with my being laid flat on my back, exhausted, off my face on drugs, with a pair of salad servers round his head verses the absolutely mind blowingly powerful 2 contractions that pushed each of my daughters into this world is simply laughable.

Anyway, everyone must find their own path and that's ok. But don't believe that it's cos mums are old and fat now that you have a 39% chance of birthing a baby without instruments or major abdominal surgery, if you wanted to birth vaginally (so that's taking planned caesareans out of it).

Op has already decided to be weighed. What a fuss over nothing.

I declined. There’s absolutely no safety reason to support weighing in pregnancy.

If you are worried about this then just agree to be weighed and ask the MW not to tell you what the weight is.

YANBU. I’ve always been very triggered by my weight and it was a big fear of mine to be weighed at pregnancy booking in appt/throughout pregnancy. I told midwife at booking in appt that she was welcome to weigh me, but I wouldn’t be looking at the scales and I did not want her to tell me what I weighed or comment on it. She was absolutely fine with that - really lovely actually - and so weighed me in silence and put it in my notes, but I didn’t look at it. She was lovely and put no pressure on me at all. The only thing she said was weight was initially a deciding factor on whether you need a gestational diabetes test but that often if the test is needed other symptoms show up anyway by then. I didn’t end up needing it till 34 weeks when I developed polyhydramnios, which had nothing to do with my weight anyway (and test was negative). I never once was weighed at any other point throughout pregnancy that I can remember and it wasn’t because I declined, they didn’t ask.

edited to add - they actually weighed me at my pre-op for my c-section. Obviously to help with dosage for medication etc. but that was the first time since my booking in appt.

YANBU I have never been weighed in pregnancy. It's irrelevant whether the Consultant is "happy" or not regarding this, as their job is not to dictate to you. All aspects of maternity care in the UK is optional, nothing is mandatory, and you have every right to decline any procedure you do not want. I'm glad you are reading Sara Wickham, she is one of the best to follow for advice.

Do not feel obliged to be weighed or accept advice just because so many commenters on here just do as they're told and question nothing.

@diiidum Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

I was going to say the same. I have real emotional issues around my weight for many years and when I was asked at booking to be weighed I recall just grimacing and the MW quickly said; 'We won't tell you what you weigh if you prefer'. That was fine for me.

Stop reading all those Internet sources and following Instagrammers and just listen to the professionals.

Not going to jump in as I see you’ve already conceded to be weighed- was just going to say, if you think think you’re going to fixate on the number, just ask them to weigh you and not tell you the result. They can just add it your notes and you don’t have to read it.

YABU. It’s about baby not you, you don’t have to agree with the whole concept of BMI but it is the tool currently used to help the health professionals do their job. Which is looking after you and baby.

If you’re ever making your decision based on an Instagram post something has already gone wrong.

Can you not just not look/ask not to be told? There's no issue at all in not wanting to know but weight is an important metric for your healthcare providers during pregnancy, as others have said in case you did need drugs later down the line.
I know this will not impact you as you've said you are a healthy weight, but the NIPT testing can be less accurate for those with higher BMIs and that's something it's important to be counselled on before having it done if that was to be a potential factor that could reduce efficacy- like I said I know that likely won't be an issue for you, but nonetheless is important for your healthcare provider to know.

I think you are being a bit fussy but I see why you feel this way. Also, I’m sure you can have the birth you want regardless of your weight/bmi, they can only advise.

YABU why would you put your baby at risk?

I was really happy to be weighed, even though I'm a fatty, because I wanted them to inject me with the right amount of drugs for the spinal block in my C-section. Just do it!

10 years ago things were different though. Younger, fitter mums, less obesity, better staffed wards with better standards of care. No ability back then to choose a c section just because you wanted one either.

If you are "doing research" make sure it's peer reviewed journal articles and not just random websites.

Of course you can say no but be aware there is a reason they intervene in births - to save lives. From a medical perspective a live mother and baby is more important than a "natural" birth

Op I think you've realised this already but I think you have been ill informed not to get weighed. Medical professionals are not asking you this to shame you for eating too many cakes, they are literally trying to assess possible risks to baby and you during pregnancy. Weight at booking gives a rough idea of whether you'll be high risk, allows them to track weight gain as pregnancy develops , can keep eye out for rapid weight gain due to pregnancy triggered diabetes etc., helps with calculating how much folic acid to take, prescriptions for drugs at hospital later on etc.
Can't you just let the midwife weigh you and just look the other way??? Seems such a drama over nothing.

Just don’t look if you’re that bothered. It seems you might have a problem already with your attitude towards it.

What are the Public Health qualifications you hold which inform your view that BMI is ‘outdated’?

Just get weighed. Ask them not to tell you.
I had a general anaesthetic recently and had to be weighed for it and due to some issues surrounding weight in the past I just asked them not to tell me what my weight was. Got weighed. They wrote down the number and didn't tell me what it was and that was the end of it.

You can be weighed and ask them not to tell you I used to stand on the scales backwards when I was recovering from an eating disorder I didn't know my weight for years but my drs did so everyone was happy

You could just do what I did and avert/cover your eyes and ask not to be told!

I presumed they wouldn't have asked to weigh me if it wasn't necessary, so just politely & sheepishly said I'd close my eyes for the weighing 😅 - The midwife understood entirely - Outright refusing seems a bit odd to me personally but to each their own!

BMI was designed for populations and not individuals. Gym bumnies have incredibly high BMIs despite looking like starved whippets. A few years ago I had a check up and despite resembling a running snake, I was given a diet sheet. So I tore it up and complained.

I understand where you're coming from OP. You can ask for blind weighing. So you don't see or know what your weight is. I have a history of disordered eating and explained this at booking and they were happy to support by blind weighing and only when absolutely necessary. I knew I was overweight- so did they just by looking at me. Wasn't really any need to weigh 😅