Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ignored and uninvited

35 replies

Mum2bambinos · 08/04/2024 12:53

I don't know if I am feeling particularly sensitive - so here goes.
5 years ago we moved to a village and when DD (now 10) started the village school we discovered that one of her former nursery friends was also at the same school. We started going to the village pub together on sundays; kids would play etc and we would often go to one or the others house to have a few drinks and let the kids play. We shall call them Couple 1.
Both of my children (DD10 & DS12) have ASD. They can display quirky behaviours and struggle socially - making and maintaining friendships. My DD has an amazing friendship with another child in the same class. We shall call her parents Couple 2.
We introduced both couple 1 & 2 to each other and would regularly spend afternoons in the pub or Saturday nights at each others houses whilst the kids played.
Recently we have not been invited to the pub with the others; on occasion we have arrived at the pub to find the others already there and it has felt awkward. Saturday night there was live music on and we walked down with our DD; when we got there both couples and their children were there. Couple 1 mum blanked me altogether. DD of Couple 2 rushed to our DD and off they went to play. We sat outside away from the others watching the kids play. Both couples came out Couple 1 didn't even speak to us and made a real effort to say goodbye to Couple 2 without acknowledging us. We offered to keep Couple 2 DD with us for an hour or two so the girls could play.
Couple 2 are always super friendly and no issues.
This morning I dropped DD at school and Couple 1 DS walked passed me - I cheerily said "Good Morning xxxxx" He looked at me like dirt and didn't even speak.
I now feel we have done something wrong to be excluded and ignored by both mum and son.
I hate confrontation so don't want to ask... but equally I feel like my DD is missing out on spending time with her bestie because of this...

I am dreading pick up this afternoon because the school is small and clicky I just feel it is going to be horrendous.

Question AIBU to feel hurt and excluded... or am I overthinking this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum2bambinos · 08/04/2024 13:13

DoreenonTill8 · 08/04/2024 13:02

Yabu not to just text and ask what's up. What happened to dd of.couple 1 when dd of couple 2 rushed to play with your dd?
Is she being left out when the girls play?

She came up to my DD and then they went to the back and played together all 3 of them. They left 10 minutes after we arrived.
I did wonder this myself - but we sat outside with them to make sure no one felt left out. We obviously didn't know they were there and wouldn't want anyone to feel pushed out. :)

OP posts:
caffelattetogo · 08/04/2024 13:11

Or is it that your children's behaviour is hard for their children or them and they haven't wanted to say? I know that's the cowardly option, but sadly is often the case.

Original poster
Mum2bambinos · 08/04/2024 13:10

Haydenn · 08/04/2024 13:01

We don’t have to like everyone in this world. It sounds like couple 1 don’t like you, but you keep pushing social interactions which is now pissing them off. I think you asking what’s wrong would just reaffirm to them that you can’t take the hint.

I am not sure how you came to this conclusion. We have never pushed a social interaction. We have never invited ourselves over or anything of the sort. I appreciate you taking time to comment - but wanted to reaffirm that this isn't factual.

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 08/04/2024 13:04

It doesn't have to be a confrontation at all. Just ask "have we done something to upset you?"

Pantaloons99 · 08/04/2024 13:03

YANBU! Something is clearly off and you know it. Sadly, we often will never know why someone is upset with us, it could be anything to do with something you said to something the kids may have ' done' to the others.

I noticed myself that this situation can come with the territory when you have an ASD child. Not all I understand before people jump on that

How good a friend really are you with couple 1 mum. To be honest, unless you have some habits ( bitching , gossiping)or styles of communication that rub people the wrong way, Couple 1 mum sounds a bit of a bitch. I've encountered mum's like this before and much prefer to be completely separate from it these days. It's often like you are the one at school.

DoreenonTill8 · 08/04/2024 13:02

Yabu not to just text and ask what's up. What happened to dd of.couple 1 when dd of couple 2 rushed to play with your dd?
Is she being left out when the girls play?

Overthebow · 08/04/2024 13:02

Do they all get on with each other and are good friends at school with your Dc? I think at your DCs ages it’s very much a choice of who to be friends with and play with. When younger it’s the adults choice more. It may be that the others DCs don’t want to be friends?

Haydenn · 08/04/2024 13:01

We don’t have to like everyone in this world. It sounds like couple 1 don’t like you, but you keep pushing social interactions which is now pissing them off. I think you asking what’s wrong would just reaffirm to them that you can’t take the hint.

caffelattetogo · 08/04/2024 13:00

Was it that they felt awkward that they'd had a catch up with just their two families?

Keeva2017 · 08/04/2024 12:58

There is nothing you can do but ask.

Swipe left for the next trending thread