In laws and baby's first steps

The crawling, I didn't know he hadn't done , I could've sworn she'd told me he had so i told her how cute he looked doing it, then her face told me 😱 The walking, i also had her teenage daughter who told her mum when she picked them up ( I did tell her daughter not to ) She was obviously gutted she missed both but actually she didn't really mind that it was with me because I am really close with him.

You told her then?

My friends little boy did his first crawling and first steps when I was looking after him 😱 Both times without coaxing and she still mentions it all these years later 🤣

Well that's a dick move. I used to run a home daycare and would NEVER tell parents if their child took their first steps with me.

I asked nursery to let me know if he took his first steps there. I’m not sentimental though and just wanted to know when it was the actual first time.

It isn’t something I’d get worked up about.

This is mean.
My DH was a SAHD. Our DD walked for the first time when I was at work.
He didn’t say anything and made sure she did it later when I was there and I had that moment too.
There is no need for what your PIL did.

Yes same... I would find it really patronising and strange for that to be hidden from me. I'm not 7. My son is 2 but I can't even really remember any 'first steps', he just wobbled about falling over for ages, loads of people probably thought they saw his first steps😂My mum always told me things he'd apparently said when I wasn't around. I either ignored it/thought it was sweet that she seemed to think he was so advanced!!

Smug gits. Does he go to nursery, or have you spent time with a friend recently? Because I would be tempted to tell your in-laws that you were telling your friend about him taking his first steps, and your friend said he actually walked in front of her last week but she didn't want to say anything.

How tactless you must be to think this is bizarre. As an 18 year old au pair I witnessed the youngest child's first steps while mum was at work. Even then I didn't tell baby's mum when she got back from work. And she was so excited to the point of tears to see baby's first steps the following weekend, and share that experience with her family. I'm so glad I didn't take that experience away from her. If a teenager can understand that it's a special experience for the parents of the baby, why can't you? What a dickhead thing to do while mum is actually in the house like OP's in laws did.

And a baby's first steps is only relevant health information if baby is very delayed. So a 2 year old walking for the first time is not the same as a 15 month old.

I've been a nanny for 25 years, caring for babies from birth to school age. I have never seen a babies first steps. I always leave that to the parents to see... 😉

Your IL's are a bit mean imo.

Oh hang about!! Your a Karen aren't you. I'll go get the manager

I don't usually do this, but if you are going to insult someone please use the correct grammar

Karen as a derogatory term is likely to result in a pile on. You have been warned !!

A have a bunch of belters @Emotionalsupportviper

Twat? Is that better @Pottedpalm honestly when your really cross just shout it, it will make you instantly better. Imagine coming home from work and taking off your bra or your bobble out of your hair. That instant relief when you just go 'ahhhhhhhh' it's like that.

Oh hang about!! Your a Karen aren't you. I'll go get the manager

It's not something I would get worked up about TBH.

I don't see it as a kindness, that's the difference. Going in the other direction (parent to grandparent) it's in the same vein for me as making a massive fuss about announcing a pregnancy.

I just told my parents I was pregnant because I knew that was exciting enough by itself. I didn't need a special video or personalised card or framed scan photo or whatever else people faff about with. It would have felt like I was patronising my parents by thinking they needed extra cues just to be excited. Same thing, I don't need to see something to be excited about it and would feel patronised if someone thought I did.

I agree - it’s when the other adults are interfering, opinionated arseholes that the problems start. But my point was that seeing a kindness towards someone you know well as patronising and weird is, well……..weird. Sorry !!

Aw I can see why you're upset, it can feel horrible to miss a milestone moment sometimes. However, I have found with my kids that it didn't TRULY happen unless Mum was there to see it

Agree with PP that my nursery were great with both mine, and told me when the babies started that if they started to walk did I want to know or not.

I used to work in a nursery and we never shared that with parents if they took their first steps with us. We just let them share the good news a few days later. We didn't see the point of spoiling that moment for the parents.

I'll bet she hasn't.

I'll bet @Couldntthinkofausername24 knows LOADS of Really Bad Swears.

I do myself. If you fancy a bit of Bad Language Training I will be happy to start a course "Swearing Like A Docker" for beginners, if there is enough demand.

Let me know.

I agree - really thoughtful, and perhaps it's something nurseries should adopt as policy.
Walking a metre the first time might be genuine - I'm pretty sure my DD did. (She waited to walk until her dad was away for work - sometimes missing firsts just can't be helped.)

Almost all children will learn to walk. It really doesn't matter whether they do it a few weeks earlier or later than their contemporaries and it doesn't matter who is around at the time.

Bet it would be the same if there were a backstory of negativity regardless on who it is.

Not sure why posters assume it wouldn’t be the same, blood-related or not.

I'd have thought it would be the reverse.

For instance, if the child ISN'T meeting expected developmental milestones, it might be appropriate to mention it, because it may mean it needs checking When a child has met one, by all means make a note of it in the child's record, but leave the exciting moment to mam and dad.

She spent an hour trying to get him to pull himself up in his crib to no avail (even though I’d caught him trying to do it a couple of times previously) but she would exclaim things like “Look he can do it when he’s just given a bit of space!”

Oh shit! I did an intensive clapping bootcamp with my DGS - my DIL kindly let me get on with it. We were singing a lot of songs and clapping out the rhythm. Now I am consumed with guilt.

However, first step, first real word etc - those aren't mine - they're mam and dad's

No, I'm just adult enough to be excited my child walked more than prioritising it having to be me that saw it first. And I expect other adults to treat me that way too.