In laws and baby's first steps

My son never took first steps as such he was just happy walking. If your baby was independently standing why weren't you doing the same thing? Genuinely who cares - if they have done it once they'll do it again

It's the intent. They've purposely encouraged it while mums out of the room briefly, no need what so ever.

You can read thoughts? Blimey.

I'm a MiL znd I would never bdhzve like thst. Babies do what they do when they're good and ready and not before. Pushing and competing is awful.

Don't invite them back.

I reckon with the amount of full time working mum's and dads, I hate to break it to people but your kid probably didn't take their first steps with you .🙈 By far the vast majority take it where they spend the most time which is nursery or childminder or whatever. I'd wager to say virtually all children in full time childcare are watching a friend and take there first steps there.

I don’t even remember mine taking their first steps. I was there but this memory becomes I significant.

The thought process is patronising. "I'd better keep it a secret from my daughter that her child walked today in case she's too precious about seeing it herself and gets upset". I'd find it patronising if anyone had that thought process about me. GP or childcare professional.

How can she be patronising when she's actually not said a word to them?

I swear the calibre of this site's membership is sinking fast.

My very first day back at work when my son was 9 months old, I got home to my parents who proudly told me that he had taken his first steps. Turns out that they had held a biscuit to walk between them. It’s become a lovely family story/lore - that my parents taught my son to walk by brandishing a biscuit. It’s like a special thing between them (he is 19 now).

In general, I find life a lot easier by not getting upset and taking things like that personally.

Some ILs are idiotic like that.
Best to casualy tell them: oh baby did that few days ago.
After a while they will back off.
In the end they are most likely imagining thing as odds that child that is with you 24/7 suddenly starts walking when you leave room for two minues are nonexistant.

My MIL was like that.
Bought dress for DD and made a whole spectatle of how it is DDs FIRST dress.
I thanked for the dress and hanged her next to other dress I bought for first month photo as she inherited all other "gender neutral" from DS.
MIL saw other dress and stopped talking to me for two days all dramatic.
Like, I almost died birthing this baby, what is your issue with me buying a piece of clothing for her? Cow.

I think I’d just be happy about babe reaching a milestone and the fact that they have grandparents who are invested in their development

You’ll have tons of firsts with baby, I bet you have already. Doesn’t take away from you as a parent, if you don’t let it

Hope you’re not too upset by it, if you are then maybe an open conversation with them is an option moving forwards. From the context it doesn’t sound like they wanted to take anything away from you x

Wow, that's just so pushy of them.

I can't imagine forcing a first like that when the parent was out of the room. I think it's quite sad, that they just had to compete like that.

I've read on here of DGPs who have done the first haircut, bought the first pair of shoes, made the first birthday cake then insisting theirs was the "main" bday cake with the mum's one pushed to the side) all without asking and this is right up there with that.

Letting yourself down badly today!

What is wrong with all the pushy grandparents? I had my turn as a parent, DDs are responsible adults, capable of being responsible loving parents so it’s never occurred to me to tell them what their babies or children should or shouldn’t be doing. I honestly don’t get why some GPs behave like this.
And yes it’s shitty behaviour on their part.

Absolutely not. In fact when a friend’s DD took her first steps at my house one day when I was looking after her I kept my mouth shut, and took great pleasure in watching an excited social media video of her taking her ‘first steps’ later that evening.
They’re dicks.

I seem to be in the minority but it wouldn’t bother me at all. My first DC took their first steps with the nanny - I was sent a video while I was at work and it was awesome! I was so excited and proud of her, showed all my colleagues and forwarded it to both sides of the family. With second I was there and it was just as special. I’m mostly just happy they’ve successfully hit a milestone, it doesn’t matter to me much who they’re with when it happens.

First steps only really count when the drive and action are lead by the child, not when goaded into by pushy in-laws. Ie, a voluntary, spontaneous action.

Don’t feel you’ve missed out, OP, you haven’t - but I’m afraid if this were me, I’d be stating quite clearly they have lost my trust and will not be allowed to spend time with my child alone. Not even when I go to the loo. What next? Are they going to start feeding foods you’ve chosen not to yet, or watching cert 12/15 films when DC is only 9?

Your child, your decisions. They’ve clearly shown that they feel they know better than you - and that is unforgivable.

Yes this in spades!

This is about a power struggle with in laws- Not about walking per se.

The walking is a side issue, In laws are trying to undermine OP.

Id bet money on the fact he hasn't taken his first steps. I also don't understand how you can "get a baby walking"

This is exactly what it is.
It’s trying to rob Op of “Firsts’, It’s about a power struggle and point-scoring.

My mother had to go to work (single mum) and put me with a nanny when I was 6 weeks old. Everyone one of my firsts smile, words, crawling, walking etc, mum saw first.

Mum is sure that the nanny saw a few of these first, but if she did she never told her.

My daughter is in daycare, I asked her keyworker not to tell me if she did walk while at nursery, but she told me it was the policy not to tell parents about firsts. They would let me know if they were developing late and needed intervention, but firsts absolutely not.

Also from your posts FIL sounds like a dick and the kind of smug bastard that would lord it over you. Wanker.

I wouldn’t have minded at all if my children took their first steps in front of someone else. I’d also like to have been told. As someone else said, I’m not a child and my feelings don’t need to be protected. My children are individuals - not my vanity project.

Shitty.

My MIL weaned my first baby, against my express instructions, while I had entrusted him to her for four hours. Her excuse was that breast milk is not sufficiently nutritious and all hers went from formula to Farley's rusks at four months.

Never mind that I had just told her that he was not going to have anything containing wheat until he was six months, that the father and I would be doing the weaning, not anyone else, and that even then, it would not be Farley's fucking rusks!

She was triumphant when he began crying as I took him from the highchair to feed him. He was enjoying those ruddy rusks.