In laws and baby's first steps

This. It's not like it happened while they were babysitting. They did it while she was in the toilet!! Of course it was deliberate

I don't get this at all. I'd heard nurseries don't tell parents if a child takes their first steps there. I told ours I wanted no part of that and if they walked I wanted to know about it. I'd find it really patronising to be lied to about it.

And GPs encouraging a child to walk is totally normal. They've not done anything wrong.

Can you spend less time with them? They (well, FIL) sound horrible :(

Bloody horrible thing to do. I was a childminder, never told a parent if a child did anything first at my setting. Waited for the parent to tell me they had done it. Why would I want to take that joy from them?

Can you spend less time with them? They (well, FIL) sound horrible :(

Can you spend less time with them? They (well, FIL) sound horrible :(

First steps don't count unless the parent is there to witness them!

(I'd have been fucking livid in your shoes, OP!)

I think being at work and having your child take their first steps at nursery is different to popping to the loo for 5 minutes and having your in-laws actively encourage the first steps. You’d have to be either a bit spiteful, or absolutely clueless.

Oh no! That's bad! Very bad!

Surely it had to happen some time though? DH and I had ours full-time pretty much without ever crossing over during kids waking hours (literally tag team in/out door) by working full time opposite shifts and days over the week. They have to walk sometime. Obviously you encourage them though. It wasn’t as though I didn’t encourage them to avoid ‘robbing’ DH of the experience and he didn’t do so either. We also didn’t go down a path of not telling the other parent, pretending it didn’t happen so we could each ‘experience it’ - weird. Although a few kids in and that wouldn’t even work anyway as an older sibling would no doubt greet the other parent with ‘x walked today’ (saved the parent having to write it on the changeover board🤣). We even missed it for one as they did it with siblings while parent wasn’t watching, was cooking dinner or something with kids in the next (childproof) room. Kids seem to think it’s so much more fun to walk in pursuit of their older siblings rather than via parent encouragement 🤣🤣🤣.

No. It's significant

Honestly this is so lovely.

Im pretty sure my son took his first steps at nursery but they just keep quiet and say oh I think he's close!

I know over their lifetime it doesn't matter but in that moment it really does to have their firsts with you

A lot of people have mentioned about children taking their first steps whilst in childcare. I remember saying to my childminder, if 'firsts' happened to mine whilst with her then please don't tell me (whilst laughing) and she replied (smiling) that it's a rule of hers to not tell parents about any firsts like walking or words! She is wonderful though!
Your in-laws are arseholes.

This. YABU. They'll take many more steps you'll get to see!

I do think that a lot of this depends on how you think about family. I am as far from a "my little family" person as it's possible to be, and I love that my dd took her first steps with her teenage cousins. They loved it-and it makes a lovely link between them. And, crucially, it didn't take anything away from me. I would have hated to have been lied to about it. There are a TON of milestones to share round!

I am a GM and if that had happened I wouldn't have said anything. Not sure why some people are always trying to rush kids on development. They do it in their own time.

Same!

It's frustrating but in the grand scheme there are so many other 1sts. I say this as someone who was on the tube on the way home from the office when my daughter took her 1st steps.

My mum immediately called me to tell me the exciting news 🙄. I was annoyed but got over it.

It's frustrating but in the grand scheme there are so many other 1sts. I say this as someone who was on the tube on the way home from the office when my daughter took her 1st steps.

My mum immediately called me to tell me the exciting news 🙄. I was annoyed but got over it.

My in laws saw ds take some steps and didn't tell us because they thought it was his first ones, until we mentioned later on that he'd taken a few the day before. I know you can't control these things and it's only natural they'll be excited but it's still not an empathetic thing to do, they could at least have waited for you. Especially if there's a backstory of them being difficult then I totally see why you'd be upset.

Depends whether you think their intent was malicious or just they're a bit dim that it would upset you. My DH is back at work. My son does things while he's at work or out the room. I don't hide it from him, I try to send him a video. I have to go back to work when he's 9 months. I'm sure he will likely, crawl, cruise, walk etc first at nursery. I'd love to see it but that's what happens. I'll hopefully have a lifetime of his firsts and a lifetime of love with him. As long as you don't think it was 'lets try get him to walk while OP is out of the room' and just them being excited let them have it. They can have his 'first steps' even if they're likely talking out of their arses and he just toppled. You'll be the one dropping him off for first day of school, taking him to university if he decides to go, be at his side at his wedding, first on your side to meet his children. They may not even be around for some of those events, and they're the ones that will actually matter and be remembered by your son.