In laws and baby's first steps

I’d be cross that they were forcing the baby to do something before he was ready! Your FIL would have been apoplectic at my pair who didn’t walk until 16 and 18 months respectively. Both now play sports at a high level.

Your PILs are ridiculous. I think smiling sweetly and changing the subject is the way forward.

Some huge over reactions here.
Wouldn't bother me. My eldest honoured my Mum and the cat with her first steps. I was just proud of her.

@Couldntthinkofausername24 So disgusting. You must have a very limited vocabulary.

I’d be irritated, honestly. Doubt I’d make a big deal about it, but it would grate.

Once upon a time I worked as an administrator for a private nursery/reception. The unofficial policy was that first steps & words didn’t happen at school - parents just didn’t need to know they’d missed a big milestone (absent a specific developmental concern, obviously). That rule has stuck around in my brain & if I caught friend or relatives’ baby’s first steps without the parents there I’d keep my mouth shut.

Why are in-laws such cunts.

This is 1000000% something my mother in law would do.

My nursery asked me when my son first started if I wanted to know any of this stuff. I said no. I would be absolutely devastated if I knee I had missed it

@CoddledAsAMommet "because I am not a knob " - Do you know what - I believe you 💐. All best

Just to add, I have an otherwise great relationship with my MIL. I think her intentions are good and she just wants to be there but it irks me because a) there’s literally no need to pressure him, he’s constantly on the move anyway and b) I care for DS 95% of the time at the moment with little to no help so yeah, I get to see his firsts thank youuuuu

My friend’s baby took his first steps when I was babysitting. I never have told her because I’m not a mean killjoy.

My MIL does things like this too. She spent an hour trying to get him to pull himself up in his crib to no avail (even though I’d caught him trying to do it a couple of times previously) but she would exclaim things like “Look he can do it when he’s just given a bit of space!” Implying I somehow don’t give him the opportunity to move at all??? He’s wanted to walk so much more than crawl but recently he’s started using his hands to move more whereas for about 3 months I spent probably 6 hours a day keeping him upright in some way because he’d rather do that than be on his tummy. 🫠 I’m guessing that’s the space I don’t give him as if my arms wanted to hold him up constantly 🙄 Anyway, he’d been building up to it for about a week and did it a week later anyway completely on his own randomly.

I haven’t pressured him to crawl but when he did manage to get from one side of the room to the other, I sent him a video of him in the family chat and it was “omg a one knee crawl!”. As if it wasn’t a proper valid crawl because he had a funny little shuffle going Again he did it on his own too without pressure.

My baby is only 8 months old and there’s so much pressure, he’s already pretty ahead?! And I spend literally 24 hours a day with him. I wonder what she thinks I’m doing with him if not giving him opportunities to thrive at his own pace all day? 🤦‍♀️

If you’ve read any of the other responses this would already be clear. Unless it’s a comprehension issue on your part.

Very obviously it all hangs on what sort of relationship the person has with their PIL. If it’s a good one and the in-laws appear genuinely happy about the steps rather than the fact that it was in front of them there wouldn’t be an issue.

There is no right way to teach a child to walk. Your implication that the PIL did something special while OP wasn’t in the room is frankly moronic.

presumably you are either one of this woman’s parents in law or you are someone else’s overbearing and tactless PIL. The only other potential explanation is the stunting of your comprehension skills and emotional intelligence.

Not really seeing the issue.

How bizarre!!! I honestly had no idea this was a thing, and genuinely find it ridiculous. As a pp said this is important information about a child’s development, which could impact health referrals etc. What other stuff are nurseries supposed to keep from parents in case they get their feelings hurt ? Or is it just walking?

Your in laws sound nasty. Do you believe it really happened? Maybe they passed baby from one to another while holding baby’s hands and it wasn’t a walk at all, but they pretended it was to be nasty. How come there was no more walking after that - probably because it didn’t happen. I would look at it that way, they honestly sound like they can’t be trusted.

I would also look to distance myself from them. They sound dreadful. Sorry you have to put up with them. Ugh.

And he hadn’t been walking at 9 months. Now he did so he’s ready. In the 5 minutes that she went to the toilet? In your experience do parents not do the ‘come to mummy-come to daddy’ learning to walk thing?

According to the OP , the PILs had been saying the child was ready and should be walking from about 9 months . Of course if they wait long enough the child will be ready . This doesn't make them right when it eventually happens.

But this is a contradiction. ’Children will walk when they are ready’. The OP’s child did; doesn’t that mean that he was ready? Or do you think that parents who sit a small distance apart and encourage their child to walk between them are not normal circumstances?

@UnNiddeRides , I don't think your point is a all valid as after 40 years in paediatric medicine I know , that unless there is a developmental issue , children will walk when they are ready and you can neither make or prevent a child walking in normal circumstances.

On a visit they decided to stand him between them, coaxing him between them (while I was gone to the toilet) then when I and back announced proudly that he'd taken his first steps.

Can you be sure he even did? If you didn't see it they may be pissing on your chips just because they can.

He took first steps so what?? He will take a million more. What do you get if you were the first one who saw it? I am honestly baffled why this is such a big deal and people calling the IL awful. I can't even remember when my dc took their first steps, and one of them is 16mo! I honestly can't believe people make this an issue. You think your ds did this to show you up or your IL made this happen because they have the ability to make a baby walk when they say so?

Ordinarily without reading the background I'm the thread I would've said let it pass they were just playing. But in this case I think they've been assholes!

Did your baby actually walk though? Or did they do the stagger between the two/falling with style? Mum of 5 here 😂 my guess is this and they are playing mind games with you.

I understand. My in laws were the same, my child didn't walk till 14 months and fil decided it was because we had a jumperoo.

My advice is to crack on parenting your child the way you feel is best and when they are going on with opinions act as if you are only half listening and not interested/bothered at all.

Strange people. My DP came up to look after DS1 so DH could have a couple of days away . My mum was very apologetic when we got back as he has stood up and walked a couple of steps. She said she probably shouldn’t have mentioned it but she was so excited.

I think my point is valid. They encouraged him to walk and he did. In five minutes. Why is my post stupid?