Long time member and poster, but over-sharer so frequently NC
I need a bit of a sense check please. Sorry it is a long one, but I will do a summary as a follow up posting!
I am a single Mum who separated last year and started a new relationship in November. BF and I see each other one evening a week and for the whole weekend every other week (when I don't have DS5). We have started to sometimes see each other with DS for a few hours on the other weekends. DS thinks of BF as my friend and likes him, but is no more attached to him than any of my other friends, we have been very careful about this.
I have fallen head over heels for BF and when we are together I absolutely know that he feels the same. He has made all sorts of adjustments and little gestures to welcome me into his life / family / home during the times that we spend together. When he talks about his plans for the future (things he had already started planning before we met, like property purchases and retirement etc) it is clear that he is including me and DS in his thought processes. We currently live an hour apart and have spoken a lot about potentially moving to be closer together next year and then moving in together at some stage after that. He is very intimate with me in private and although we have not had full sex (there are legitimate health reasons) we have an amazing time in the sack, as it were! We get on really really well when we are together and tell each other how we feel regularly.
So, the issues start when we are not together. At the beginning of the relationship he was in touch all the time when we were apart. We would send each other messages during the day (not constantly, but regularly) leave voice notes, and talk on the phone for hours a couple of times a week. Now, I know that this is not sustainable but it has decreased considerably. He takes hours to respond to me and we only talk on the phone once a week if that. Also, he doesn't often respond when I tell him that I love him. I find this really upsetting. When I tell him this, he responds really positively and says that he is just inexperienced with relationships / sorry / will try harder to actually tell me how he feels instead of just thinking it. It usually turns out that he has spent a load of time planning nice things for us, researching places we could take DS, sorting out stuff at his house to make me feel at home etc etc, so he is thinking about me. Things are better for a couple of days but then he goes back to the default of not telling me how he feels.
I am very insecure, largely due to a rocky upbringing and being let down badly in previous relationships.
So here's the question:
YABU - you have a lovely man that you enjoy spending your spare time with, you need to work on yourself / your insecurities and stop being so needy.
YANBU - your BF is not giving you what you need and it probably wont improve, so it is time to move on