Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you cope when badly unwell as a single mum? with

62 replies

TotoroElla · 08/04/2024 10:58

Just looking for any tips and advice.

I currently have Whooping cough. Just for context my GP sent me to hospital when I was diagnosed and they wanted to admit me but I had to get home to my DC. So I have it pretty bad. Awful coughing keeps me awake at night. Every time I go to get up the coughing starts and I am on the verge of fainting (have fainted a couple of times). Then I feel so wobbly walking. I'm so tired and weak and have an awful headache. So I'm really struggling. My DC are 16 and 12.

Complicating factor is 12yo probably caught whooping cough first but just had cold symptoms for a couple of weeks, pretty much ok now but not quite 100%. 16yo I think has it now, hoping he will not develop the cough but he has cold symptoms and very tired/headachy.

I feel so unwell I can't think straight. The house is going to shit. I've only managed to put a load of washing on everyday and hung it to dry a bit at a time. Nothing has been put away. Sink full of dishes. We haven't had dinner quite a bit. Just eating whatever is easy. Although I don't really have an appetite and DS has a reduced appetite. I've done a bit of tidying up but it's so hard when coughing and needing to lie down.

DS would usually do a lot more, but is sleeping lots which I want to encourage to help him recover and hopefully not get the cough. He's done a bit of washing up, wiped kitchen sides and has made food. Put bins out. I don't really want to ask too much of him as he's feeling so unwell. I'm scared of how long this illness is going to go on as it can last for many weeks. I have ordered some takeaways but can't afford too many.

Sorry, this is just a ramble. I don't know if it makes much sense. But any tips would be good.

OP posts:
TotoroElla · 08/04/2024 11:47

ssd · 08/04/2024 11:27

You poor soul, hope you feel better soon x

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
TotoroElla · 08/04/2024 11:46

Sprinkles211 · 08/04/2024 11:25

I wouldn't worry too much they're 12 and 16 should be mostly able to do everything now independently. My 3 have sen but my 16 year old could run the house and make basic meals (very basic lol) so breakfast and lunch be fine and I'd order in the odd tea. With my littlest two 8 (mentally2) and 1 year old when I'm poorly we set up camp in the front room bedding, ipads everything we need both are in Nappies all at arms reach and just plough through disney and surround ourselves with toys.

I should have said they both have SEN so a bit younger than the average 12 and 16. 12yo not that independent. 16yo is but not well himself right now.

OP posts:
Familiaritybreedscontemptso · 08/04/2024 11:34

You poor thing. I’m sorry, it sounds very difficult. Maybe something like Gousto would help with meals - still need to be cooked but ingredients all portioned etc. You can usually get lots of money off when you first sign up.

femfemlicious · 08/04/2024 11:31

Order loads of ready meals. Not ideal but stop mess from cooking. Your kids are old enough to not be messy

Stressfordays · 08/04/2024 11:29

Forget the housework until you feel better. Focus on feeling better. Order in a load of pot noodles and ready meals. Kids that age are happy with toast and cereal too, it's not a big deal for a week or 2 while you recover.

TotoroElla · 08/04/2024 11:27

SpanishTale · 08/04/2024 11:07

Have you got any family to help?

Unfortunately, not.

OP posts:
RoomOfRequirement · 08/04/2024 11:27

At 12 and 16 they don't need looking after.

You can clean the house when you're better. Order easy food for meals.

ssd · 08/04/2024 11:27

You poor soul, hope you feel better soon x

TotoroElla · 08/04/2024 11:26

newyear2024 · 08/04/2024 11:05

The only answer is to really rest as much as you can, let the house work build up or do a little each day (providing you feel up to it)

The more you rest, the quicker you will recover. The house work can wait (it's not going anywhere) yes it will build up but when you're back on your feet you will get it done. The plus side is you don't have toddlers or babies so hopefully the kids feel better soon and can help with what they're able to.

Regarding food - takeaways are completely fine, but as you say they are expensive. Order a home delivery of easy food like beans on toast, pot noodles, microwave ready meals - what ever is easy for the teens to make themselves.

Go easy on yourself and rest rest rest. A few unhealthy meals won't hurt anyone and your priority is to rest.

Thank you. You made me feel better. Gosh, yes, it was much more difficult when they were tiny!!

OP posts:
Sprinkles211 · 08/04/2024 11:25

I wouldn't worry too much they're 12 and 16 should be mostly able to do everything now independently. My 3 have sen but my 16 year old could run the house and make basic meals (very basic lol) so breakfast and lunch be fine and I'd order in the odd tea. With my littlest two 8 (mentally2) and 1 year old when I'm poorly we set up camp in the front room bedding, ipads everything we need both are in Nappies all at arms reach and just plough through disney and surround ourselves with toys.

SpanishTale · 08/04/2024 11:07

Have you got any family to help?

newyear2024 · 08/04/2024 11:05

The only answer is to really rest as much as you can, let the house work build up or do a little each day (providing you feel up to it)

The more you rest, the quicker you will recover. The house work can wait (it's not going anywhere) yes it will build up but when you're back on your feet you will get it done. The plus side is you don't have toddlers or babies so hopefully the kids feel better soon and can help with what they're able to.

Regarding food - takeaways are completely fine, but as you say they are expensive. Order a home delivery of easy food like beans on toast, pot noodles, microwave ready meals - what ever is easy for the teens to make themselves.

Go easy on yourself and rest rest rest. A few unhealthy meals won't hurt anyone and your priority is to rest.

Swipe left for the next trending thread