Am I unreasonable leaving to drop my dd

never date a male who has you walking on eggshells, who 'hits the roof', or who has you humiliatingly travelling around multiple times a week to provide him with sex.
You need to be a far, far better example to your kids. They'll think this is normal, something to aspire to. [shudder]

Enough red flags here to make bunting.

So this prince is nice to you when you do exactly what he wants, makes you do all travelling and throws a toddler tantrum if you don’t, refuses to put any travel effort in himself, because unlike your boring trivial job his job is special and important so it’s ’different’ and has a pathetic shitty sulk when you prioritise your children. I couldn’t get him gone fast enough.

Yep, if he is this territorial he is going to be an absolute twat about everything, he’s already having a tantrum because he didn’t get the “share” of your time he thought he was entitled to

The only time DP has ever hit the roof was when the rather portly cat attempted to jump on him whilst he was asleep on the sofa and dug its claws into his most vulnerable parts in the process.

Once he'd been unpeeled from the ceiling and he'd checked it was all still intact, he was more bothered that he'd frightened the cat than anything else.

This bloke is jealous of the OP's DD, jealous of the ex, jealous of other people - her children - having a right to her time and attention, jealous of her having independent thoughts, opinions and activities that aren't centred around him.

Don't go back at all.

Wow, what a prick🤨

Nailed it in two words. Sounds like that's what you plan to do, OP.

He sounds awful!

I hope you do finish with him. I’d love to know what his ex thinks of him. He sounds controlling with a volatile temper. I also think you’ve jumped from one abusive relationship to another, you just haven’t seen it because this one currently is not as abusive as your ex… albeit that could change.

From what you’ve written, I question if he’s capable of a proper relationship. I expect he will replace you very quickly because he doesn’t appear to see you or your children as as whole people with individual needs. That won’t be personal or about you. But about him.

He is not your partner and why are you taking your 15 year old to your boyfriends house every weekend? Get rid of him, he is using you.

You forgot:

• he's a lazy arse

A lot of red flags from him - you feeling like you're walking on eggshells is a definitely red flag for abuse.

I left a very abusive relationship and my next one was what I thought was a normal relationship, but which was actually just a slightly less abusive one. It happens to a lot of us. Good luck with extracting yourself.

Yeah give him a ring now and end it

It really is time to end this @Fellik

You said he ‘hit the roof’ because your plans didn’t align.

I don’t think my DH has ‘hit the roof’ about anything in 18 years.

Your partner is demonstrably lazy, selfish, childish, and stubborn. No good will come from the relationship.

OP, it's utterly tragic that you are worried about telling him you have booked a holiday with your DC, because he will have a strop about you missing his days with you. 😔

These are the few last years of holidays your daughter, at least, will be wanting to be with her mum (missed your Son's age sorry)
You will look back filled with regret that this horrible man-child took presidence over them.

Not literally - as at least you are going anyway - but in your mind and in your thoughts.
Utterly controlled by him.

He's a waste of space.
Please dump him

I booked a holiday for myself and the children recently for the summer and realised I haven’t told him as I don’t want to deal with his reaction as he won’t be happy that it falls on days when I would normally be with him.

So you are scared of him really then, this is not someone who treats you amazingly if you are scared to tell him that you are taking your kids away on holiday. Please end it for your own sake and for your kids.

Definitely, definitely call it a day. Jeez.

Well done for realising this OP. He’s told you not to come back so grab this opportunity to make it ‘his decision’ and don’t go back - ever.

Yep. I think you are right. It's time.

You haven't told him about a holiday because you're worried about his reaction speaks volumes.

Life's too short to live like this. Nobody should have to walk on eggshells.

Your families feel very entwined for a couple that have been dating for just over a year.

Have you heard of the freedom programme op? I think you would find it helpful in recognising abusive men.

Because that's what he is, he's abusive. Please end it with him and work on yourself before getting another boyfriend. You owe it to your daughter to show her what a good relationship looks like.

Tell him about the holiday. If he says that sounds good and offers to look after the dog and drive you to the airport .... that's ok.

If he gives you a hard time in any way ... LTB!

If you have 4 children between you, it’s always going to be like this. Going to the gym as a couple is nice, but it’s going to be fairly hard isn’t it? Sounds like you’re the one doing the chasing…

Urgh. Ick.

What a moaning old victor meldew. Control freak.