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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it inappropriate to describe your children in this way?

78 replies

Snoopy104 · 07/04/2024 18:54

A friend of mine (well, more of an acquaintance) has 2 young children. Her partner is very active on social media and frequently posts pictures of them, but he always captions them with swear words.
It's seemingly meant in an endearing way, however it just feels uncomfortable. He posted a picture of their 3 year old daughter and wrote 'Happy birthday to this cheeky little bitch!'

And called their son 'A little shitbag'.
Like he uses words like that about his children publicly, nobody seems to comment about it on the posts. It just seems very odd to me, or am I overreacting?

OP posts:
YeahComeOnThen · 07/04/2024 23:30

ATGforever · 07/04/2024 19:00

Not unreasonable. I knew someone recently who kept calling his kids crotch goblins and - even worse - cum trophies.

Trying to be funny, I suppose but it's just gross.

@ATGforever

that's disgusting. He'd be out of my life immediately.

@Snoopy104

I could live with, say, 'he's been a right little shit bag today'. But nt calling him a shit bag.

As for 'HB cheeky little bitch' JUST NO no way. Again I could just about tolerate 'shes been a cheeky little bitch today' said to a friend out if her hearing range. But not the way he's done it.

,

theduchessofspork · 07/04/2024 23:12

I am very sweary, but using swear words to refer to a specific person like that, never mind your child, is really fucking odd - alongside trying to be cool and failing.

You might want to post a ‘jokey’ comment about tragic dad swearing next time

SleepPrettyDarling · 07/04/2024 23:08

Someone I know refers to her youngest child, a boy, as The Thug. Horrible. And stereotyping.

Caerulea · 07/04/2024 23:06

Don't have an issue with shitbag etc, they can be affectionate. But bitch? Singular & aimed at/about one person (adult or child) is just horrible.

Me & my boys call each other all manner of things in jest but if one used bitch I'd hit the roof. It's a word structure thing, it just sounds unpleasant & agressive. 'Bitches' as a group greeting is softened by the 'es'. 'Bitch' is just harsh & spitty. Big nope

Diamond007D · 07/04/2024 23:05

I wouldn't be associated with these people in any shape or form

baroqueandblue · 07/04/2024 23:02

15% think YABU.

Their poor kids 😕

mathanxiety · 07/04/2024 23:01

Horrible.

Not one bit acceptable.

I'd be very concerned about the welfare of the children. There are shades of a well-known 'right under everyone's nose' abuser of children here.

ClairemacL · 07/04/2024 22:59

Definitely very weird and distasteful.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 07/04/2024 22:58

Awful.

QS90 · 07/04/2024 22:24

@ShiteRider lol fair enough!

ShiteRider · 07/04/2024 22:21

QS90 · 07/04/2024 22:03

Bear - that's just a cutesy name isn't it? Or have I wildly misunderstood a load of stuff??

No it’s totally different, I just hate them equally but for different reasons

nadine90 · 07/04/2024 22:21

The first time I met my ex’s family his mum called her 18mo granddaughter an ignorant bitch! I couldn’t stop my mouth from falling open in shock. Same child’s mum would regularly call her a sexy bitch.
I thought it was awful but seemed to be normal in their circles

QS90 · 07/04/2024 22:16

Ladyluckinred · 07/04/2024 22:09

You’re not misunderstanding anything. It’s weird to lump bear in the same category as ‘crotch goblins’.

Phew! I've referred to mine as little bears a few times, in my more sentimental moments - was worried I'd inadvertently been walking around, crooning to them that they were something really foul 😂

Ladyluckinred · 07/04/2024 22:09

QS90 · 07/04/2024 22:03

Bear - that's just a cutesy name isn't it? Or have I wildly misunderstood a load of stuff??

You’re not misunderstanding anything. It’s weird to lump bear in the same category as ‘crotch goblins’.

Firebird83 · 07/04/2024 22:06

I know someone who called her newborn son “my sexy lil man”

QS90 · 07/04/2024 22:03

ShiteRider · 07/04/2024 19:46

I wouldn’t do it personally but I don’t find it any less disturbing than crotch goblins, bean, bear or any of those names

Bear - that's just a cutesy name isn't it? Or have I wildly misunderstood a load of stuff??

avocadotofu · 07/04/2024 20:49

That's definitely awful!

Witcheroo · 07/04/2024 20:43

Meh. I couldn't get too upset. I was an absolute shitbag as a child. Some kids are.

Molonty · 07/04/2024 20:42

And what does your friend think. That her man is all cute and funny? Disgusting to refer to kids like that.

Chatonette · 07/04/2024 20:39

I’d be tempted to make a comment on the post…’It’s so sad when a child’s biggest bully is their father.’

jengachampion · 07/04/2024 20:38

Both are bad but bitch is worse. It’s weirdly sexualising/adultifying

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 07/04/2024 20:34

Those are used as affectionate terms amongst friends as well

"Hey Bitches whats up?!"

I think it shows an age/class difference

StormingNorman · 07/04/2024 20:21

TheChosenTwo · 07/04/2024 19:43

I know someone who referred to her young daughter as a sexy little bitch, just found it really weird. The bitch part is more common that I though going by this thread but the sexy bit is frankly bizarre isn’t it?

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth 🤢

RazzberryGem · 07/04/2024 20:20

I don't personally and I'd secretly be judging them for sure 😂

Candleabra · 07/04/2024 20:18

I don’t like it. Quite a few “instamummies” call their kids little shits, fuckwits, bitches etc and I have no doubt they love their children but it’s all a bit try hard to be cool. I know it’s not all unicorns and moonbeams and I’m not against swearing, but calling your kids an insulting swear word Isn’t nice.