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Original poster

Can a sensible 15 year old (year 10 and 15.6 months A*student) look after younger sibling 12 with Sen for 2 hours?

67 replies

WineLass · 07/04/2024 18:53

As stated, I have a 15 year old DC (A* student - the reason this is relevant as I think it shows how capable they are with decisions etc and in general to life)

DC2 12 has SEN but adores his DC. I normally work around school and child care and always there when school finishes but have been asked to attend an important meeting that only occurs 2/3 times a year. Normally I can get childcare but grandparents are poorly so my choices are to to say to work I can’t make it or to
leave DC 12 with DC15?

Part of me thinks well DC is 12 but well behaved and other DC will be 16 next so I’d more than capable of watching them for an hour or 2…. It’s not like they’re 7 and 3…..

I never leave them alone but think I’m OTT in general so why are your thoughts?

OP posts:
WarningOfGails · 07/04/2024 20:31

I am leaving my 15 year old, 12 year old and 8 year old alone for 6.5 hours tomorrow while I work so fine in my book unless the 12 year old’s needs are very high.

Momstermunch · 07/04/2024 20:21

shoppingshamed · 07/04/2024 20:10

How negligent of you, but perhaps understandable as A*s haven't been a thing for a few years now. Unless OP is going to throw igcses into the mix, I think they still use letter grades

Show quote history

Still a thing in Wales actually...

Anonymouseposter · 07/04/2024 20:16

It depends on the 12 year olds needs and how difficult they are to manage. You can’t just go off the ages. If the 12 year old is cooperative and there’s no likelihood of a health emergency it should be fine.

shoppingshamed · 07/04/2024 20:10

Rockfordpeach · 07/04/2024 19:25

It's fine, I left my seven year old with my 14 year old (not A* or anywhere near) for half an hour today

How negligent of you, but perhaps understandable as A*s haven't been a thing for a few years now. Unless OP is going to throw igcses into the mix, I think they still use letter grades

Wishlist99 · 07/04/2024 20:09

There’s SEN and then there’s SEN…both my dc have SEN but it doesn’t affect their behaviour (and they are A* students). My nephew is the same age and also has “SEN” but is severely incapacitated; low IQ, erratic and unpredictable behaviour and violent outbursts. He has a 1-2-1 TA at school and will never live indpendently.

JMSA · 07/04/2024 20:04

Rockfordpeach · 07/04/2024 19:25

It's fine, I left my seven year old with my 14 year old (not A* or anywhere near) for half an hour today

But how did they cope, when they're clearly not bright enough to do it?!? Wink

Lancrelady80 · 07/04/2024 20:02

Lots of people saying it's fine with no idea of the level of SEN or the relationship between the children.

OP, noone here can possibly advise you. It could be fine or an absolute disaster.

Take SEN out of the equation and it should be absolutely fine. The SEN makes it a massive unknown.

Imagine everything going wrong that could possibly go wrong...how would your children react? Would the child with SEN have an absolute meltdown and be completely distressed and unable to be coped with by older child? Would younger child listen to older one? Is older one able to pick up on things that might trigger younger child before it's too late? We just can't tell.

Echobelly · 07/04/2024 19:59

Unless the sibling's SEN mean they might be given to risky (eg running out of the house into the street, putting themselves in danger unless watched) or aggressive, or they have medical needs that mean they might experience emergency situations frequently, I don't see any reason why not.

ElleLeopine · 07/04/2024 19:58

NoKnit · 07/04/2024 19:03

Is this just a one off or a regular weekly thing?

One off = fine
Regular = not quite sure it's fair on older child.

Also their grades at school have nothing to do with it. People who aren't academic are also good at making decisions same as smart people sometimes aren't. Your thinking there is a bit patronising to be honest.

I disagree with this in that if it is a regular thing then both will know exactly what is required of them.

Flamingogirl08 · 07/04/2024 19:55

At 15 and 12? Er yeah.

stomachamelon · 07/04/2024 19:54

@Mylobsterteapot that made me smile as tbh that's my experience!

RampantIvy · 07/04/2024 19:34

Mylobsterteapot · 07/04/2024 19:24

I think it does correlate, but in a negative way. I know some very clever teens, but some of them have the common sense of a teaspoon.

Show quote history

Indeed Grin

Kalevala · 07/04/2024 19:34

underscorer · 07/04/2024 19:21

Of course they can. There are 15 year olds who are parents to their own children.

Why are the grades relevant?!

Depends on the SEN, a 12 year old with behavioural difficulties could be more challenging than a baby or a tantruming two year old you can pick up. However, it doesn't sound like this is the situation here.

mynameiscalypso · 07/04/2024 19:34

@Mylobsterteapot You are describing me perfectly so I suspect you're absolutely right 😂

Abouttimeforanamechange · 07/04/2024 19:33

Depends on the needs of the 12yo. A 12 yo should be fine on their own for two hours, without needing to be 'looked after'. What special needs does the 12yo have that they need to have someone with them, and that a 15yo might not be able to cope with?

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 07/04/2024 19:27

Is your elder child happy to do it?

BlueRaincoat1 · 07/04/2024 19:25

Doss your child with SEN have very significant needs?
When I was 14 I used to babysit 4 kids under 12 when their parents went to the supermarket /out for a few hours.
When I was 16 I minded two little kids each day for 2 months while their mum was unwell.

Unless your 12 yr old has signifant needs and your 15 year old minds, this really should be totally fine

Rockfordpeach · 07/04/2024 19:25

It's fine, I left my seven year old with my 14 year old (not A* or anywhere near) for half an hour today

Mylobsterteapot · 07/04/2024 19:24

mynameiscalypso · 07/04/2024 19:01

I don't think being an A* student correlates to having common sense particularly but, that aside, yes, I would have thought it would be absolutely fine.

I think it does correlate, but in a negative way. I know some very clever teens, but some of them have the common sense of a teaspoon.

NCFTS · 07/04/2024 19:23

Of course they can! Madness to think they couldn’t - no matter what grades they get in school!!

underscorer · 07/04/2024 19:21

Of course they can. There are 15 year olds who are parents to their own children.

Why are the grades relevant?!

LizzieSiddal · 07/04/2024 19:21

How far away are you and could the 15 yo phone you if they needed you to come home asap?

Kalevala · 07/04/2024 19:18

Depends on the SEN, what possible behaviour prevents them from being left alone and could the 15 year old handle that? I was a teen with SEN babysitting a preschool aged sibling at 14/15.

Dogball · 07/04/2024 19:17

How SEN are we talking? Complex medical/severe behavioural? Even so if they’ve grown up with each other it should be fine.
I leave my 12 year old with his D grade sibling quite often and they are absolutely fine.

Momstermunch · 07/04/2024 19:16

What is it about the 12 year olds SEN that might make it challenging for the 15 year old?

If nothing I'd say it's absolutely fine.