Why shouldn’t life be made easier for pregnant women/mothers?

For those who say flexibility in the workplace should be extended to all, essentially, you don’t think pregnant women/women with young children should be given adaptations.

Pre DC, I probably would have been in the ‘pregnancy isn’t an illness’ camp but after a complicated pregnancy and since developing two chronic health conditions, my outlook has changed entirely and I believe society should band together to support parents, especially women, with children.

It’s not like pregnant women who need flexibility are sitting on a beach sipping a cocktail whilst you are punching in the extra hours, they are probably on their knees with their head in the toilet wondering how they are going to stand up with crippling PGP. Perhaps you think this is part and parcel of your choice to have children, well perhaps your choice not to have children means you might have to send out an extra work report here and there🤷‍♀️. And make no mistake, these additional contributions at work don’t go unnoticed. When it comes to promotion, your efforts will be recognised whilst women with children careers come to a grinding halt.

Absolutely! I’m not trying to demonise wheelchair users in any way. I guess I’m just thinking aloud.

I don’t really get this, when I was happily childfree I liked to go on holiday in September. No crowds, cheaper etc, during the summer it was quiet so no-one was bothering me at work and I could clear my desk a bit.

I do get the xmas thing though, but even then it was either just me and my family and then it was me and Dh and we had a few days over xmas and the weekends around it but it never really bothered me, I wasn’t wrapping presents for the masses or trying to make xmas magical 🙄.

Not that distance, no.

100% agree @Duckwithnobill

I could barely breathe in the last trimester so yeah and was puking for the first half, if it’s just a bit of flexibility I don’t see the harm. Pregnancy can be pretty hard on the body, it’s not just a woman with a little belly fat. It’s a biological process that can really leaving you feeling battered.

I don’t think it’s great for women if we basically say “ooooh I don’t want to be a bother, yes yes it feels like my pelvis has been crushed, I can’t stand up straight and I threw up on the cat but don’t mind me, I don’t want to make a fuss”.

There is a lot of evidence for poorer healthcare offered to women (most if it stems from the assumption that we are hysterical). It’s mainly convenient to men that we make ourselves as small as possible, don’t make too many demands and don’t create a “fuss”. It’s time limited, it’s not like someones going to be pregnant forever. Whats better, some flexibility or women end having to be signed off sick (I’ve known women who had no other option but to be signed off).

Well - if she’s recently had the baby, no she may not be able to walk very far.

In any case, you usually get the bus because the distance is too far to walk.

@Moglet4 I think it’s complicated with bus use - albeit, in my experience wheelchair users go out of their way to try and fit prams on too (no doubt as they have experienced being unable to travel themselves).

Why should someone in a wheelchair not wait for the next bus but she should, over and over again?

can she walk?

I do indeed - total agree with you @Duckwithnobill

If you really don't understand why wheelchair users take precedence I see little point in explaining it to you.

I've noticed that as a society we've said 'having children is a lifestyle choice' or 'you shouldn't have them if you can't afford them' - it's only now when women are saying no to having children that people are realising the impact of it. Fewer pension contributions, an aging population, fewer consumers. I hope this will lead to better resources for mothers, (ie healthcare that doesn't put our mental health at risk) but probably not.

👏🏼

Doesn’t necessarily mean they always should though. Often, yes, but not always. I’m thinking, for example, of my friend who had a baby in a pram and was waiting for a bus. They were very busy at that time. There were wheelchair users waiting in the bus queue too. The bus driver told her there was no room and she’d have to wait for the next bus. This happened 3 times until she could actually get on a bus 45 mins later. Why should someone in a wheelchair not wait for the next bus but she should, over and over again? I’m honestly not trying to be antagonistic. I just genuinely think there are grey areas in different circumstances and disability shouldn’t necessarily always be given first priority

I have told them - they’re not bothered because they’d prefer to be seen as family friendly and to lose the childless women to other employers.

I could get a new job but how would I guarantee the next one wasn’t the same? The employers I worked for have all prioritised parents for leave etc.

It’s not the parents’ fault but I don’t believe anyone would be delighted to be in my position!

Hmm fair enough. Personally I think it depends on the circumstances and shouldn’t be a given 🤷‍♀️

You could get a new job, though?

thats the wrong answer
It would be better if the boss was told by someone how the other staff feel picking up the raw end of the deal - as that is unfair

Children are not a “lifestyle” ; They are human beings. Reproduction is a basic biological function. Having reproductive choices is a fundamental human right.

See my comment above. Pregnancy wasn't an illness... FOR YOU.

You could get a new job, though?

Which allowances do you object to making?

As an employer, the more society tries to “encourage” me to make allowances for pregnant women and mothers of young children the less I want to employ women of child bearing age.

But if people aren't encouraged to have children, who is going to be there to wipe your backside in old age and fund your pension?

What @Escapetothewhere said.

Wow the world is full of idiots.

I think the trouble with pregnancy is that it is very common (obviously) and so a lot of women have gone through it, but their experiences vary vastly.

I'm signed off work with hyperemesis gravidarum at the moment (hence being on mumsnet all the time!). It's hugely debilitating and I've been quite close to being hospitalised and put on drip.

It affects 1% of pregnant women. So other women who've been pregnant (my boss) or who've had pregnant wives etc. will be thinking... it's just a bit of morning sickness, why's she being so dramatic?

I'm also very prone to fainting at the moment so don't feel safe driving and don't even really want to be out and about with my toddler because I don't think it's safe.

Again, other women will think... what's all the fuss? I was pregnant with a toddler and I just got on with it. You're not special. etc.