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AIBU?

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Original poster

To exclude one child from family holiday

343 replies

Mama1209 · 07/04/2024 16:03

I have a strained relationship with my eldest daughter. She basically lives with her grandparents. I try my hardest to make her feel loved, wanted & included. We have booked a summer holiday abroad this year. 6 of us in total so it’s not cheap. We have just been on a weekend break and she was a nightmare! Shouting and swearing calling me names in public etc. I don’t get it because she was really looking forward to it. It’s as soon as she doesn’t get her own way she kicks off. Now me and my husband will work hard all year to pay for this summer holiday and I don’t want her to ruin it for us and the other kids! AIBU to cancel her off? I feel like she would never forgive me and it would ruin any chance of building a stronger relationship so I’m torn!

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 07/04/2024 16:21

At 17 if she’s going to kick off on holiday she would be staying at home

Letsgocamping67 · 07/04/2024 16:20

I wouldn’t take her she lost that right kicking off on the weekend trip. She will ruin it for all of you.

HurryupHenry · 07/04/2024 16:18

I agree that this could be the end of any potential relationship although understand why you would want to leave her. Some 17 year olds are absolute arseholes.

What are the circumstances of her living with her Grandmother? Who’s idea was it and how have you managed your relationship since she’s been there?

Can you talk to her about expectations?

Original poster
Mama1209 · 07/04/2024 16:17

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 07/04/2024 16:13

How long has she been living with her grandparents, is your dh her dad, are the other kids her full siblings?

Sadly her dad died many years ago so they are half siblings

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 07/04/2024 16:17

If she makes the holiday all about her it will spoil it for everyone.
It sounds like she has jealousy/ anger issues, maybe thinking the younger sibs are favourites?

Especially if your husband isn’t her dad.

It’s rare to live with grandparents unless there has been a real breakdown in the relationship.

ontheflighttosingapore · 07/04/2024 16:16

Last holiday our eldest came on was 16yrs old and she was horrible. We didn't take her again until this year she is coming now 23 and much nicer

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 07/04/2024 16:13

How long has she been living with her grandparents, is your dh her dad, are the other kids her full siblings?

purpleme12 · 07/04/2024 16:13

Not sure what I'd decide on this one.

LolaSmiles · 07/04/2024 16:12

She's 17.
How long have you been with your husband? Are the other 3 children from your new relationship?

misszebra · 07/04/2024 16:11

don't bring her with you. would be a horrid time for you and you clearly deserve the break - maybe missing out will teach her a lesson and she'll change her tune in the future. but do not back down for this one.

oakleaffy · 07/04/2024 16:11

Crosspost-
17 is very old to be holidaying with parents, I stopped going at 15 while younger sibs went.

oakleaffy · 07/04/2024 16:10

Age is absolutely critical.

Original poster
Mama1209 · 07/04/2024 16:09

She is 17

OP posts:
InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 07/04/2024 16:06

Totally age dependent.

Jessforless · 07/04/2024 16:04

Her age is really crucial

rubyslippers · 07/04/2024 16:04

How old is she?

LegoDeathTrap · 07/04/2024 16:04

Is she 8 or 18?

ElleLeopine · 07/04/2024 16:04

How old is she?

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