So a little background… Boyfriend of 3.5 years, we live around an hour and a half apart. both in our late 30’s. He is self employed and has not been getting many job so spends a lot of his time trying to drum up new business. Financially he is in dire straights and will struggle to pay his bills next month and thinks he may even have to go bankrupt.
He keeps making plans with me, to come over, or me go there or to spend the day together. Then he cancels saying he is too busy with work as something came in and he needs to work on it. Then he feels depressed so cancels on me then, always last minute or sometimes he will postpone the meeting time to later in the day then when I later ring him to check it’s all good he will cancel then saying he is not in the right headspace to see me but he’ll see me another day, where he will most likely cancel too.
It’s getting ridiculous, however I try to be understanding and be there for him, check he is okay, offer support and not complain. I appreciate his situation is very stressful and he is struggling.
If I dare mention anything that might sound remotely like criticism for his behaviour or not sound happy/ totally fine about the cancellation of plans his response to me is to get annoyed. He will start accusing me of not being understanding or to tell me that I ‘just don’t seem to get what he is going through’. He will tell me I am so highly strung and should just chill out about it all.
Its taking its toll on me and I’m feeling unloved and unimportant and not sure if I’m being unreasonable.
Should I just accept he is busy/ working/ depressed and always be fine with how his cancelling plans and having hardly any time for me makes me feel? It won’t be forever as work will pick up, should I just be super supportive during this time?