Is it ever OK to report anyone?

Never. I think it’s the law of unintended consequences- you just don’t know what chain of events you’re starting for someone or potentially many people (children etc). I think people do things for different reasons- I have to live with my own choices and they need to live with theirs.

I’d report anything risky ie drink driving, abuse. But people trying to get a bit extra to support themselves when they can, good on them if they can get away with it. Rules and laws are not always based on morality in fact the way people on benefits are treated is psychopathic

In my experience, reporting people to the DVLA for driving about (with kids) with no tax, MOT or insurance results in them doing absolutely nothing.

Yes I would. I hate the people across the road from me and one of their shitheap cars is untaxed on the public road and I’ve reported it. If I have to pay to put my car on the road so should everyone else.

<bangs head against brick wall>

Do you know how to converse about things that could happen, not have or will happen?

The fact you don’t (apparently) know kids doesn’t matter - if you did, what would you do? It doesn’t take a whole lot of imagination to answer.

And I’ve already said - people see people harming children in the street, they hear their neighbours beating kids. They hear them trying to drown them. If you heard punches being blown and children begging a parent to stop as the blows continued, would you shrug and say “Well I really don’t know what that could be?”. If so - People like you who could help but instead feign naivety are the reason many children die in pain, scared and alone. (And don’t say “my neighbour doesn’t have kids” because it’s really not the point). Evil happens when good people do nothing. So many children who’ve died could have been saved in those around them had just spoken up.

How about this - I take it you love your grandchildren? Imagine they were being abused (and I don’t want to hear ‘that would never happen’ - it can and does). Let’s say at school or nursery, like what happened with Little Teds (and if they don’t go to school or nursery, which I’m sure you’ll say, bear in mind they will one day be in the care of adults away from parents) and they were harmed, sexually abused or even killed. Imagine if someone knew about it, and did nothing because they were scared of getting thumped over it. How would you feel? Would you say “fair enough seems reasonable?”. Or would you have expected them to do something?

Reported my old neighbour for drunk driving, every Friday used to drive home pissed and I could see him spending ages dropping his keys and stumbling all over to try get into his front door.

I also reported the family who used to live across my road years ago for dealing drugs, it was like a bloody scene from a film cars and groups of men calling round all hours. There were fights argument all the time, I was worried for my kids and never regretted doing it, why should I antisocial arseholes.

TV licence no would not report for that, but where there is a risk to my family hell yes I will and so should others. What happened to community and looking out for our decent neighbours from harm.

My DH has reported someone for benefits fraud. It was a family member of his ex wife who couldn’t keep his mouth shut at family events so DH was absolutely certain that fraud was being committed.

In the 1980s my mother in law received £50 a week widowed mother’s allowance. Five years after her husband’s death she met a new DP. When she and her then DP now DH decided to take the plunge and move in together DMIL wrote to say she no longer wished to claim it. They sent an investigator round to speak to the neighbours to find out when DP moved in and if she had been claiming it fraudulently.

A former work colleague of mine was reported to social services twice by the neighbours. Both times nothing was found to be wrong. Exwork colleague lived in a third floor flat and you could hear her shouting and screaming at her children from the street outside. After being reported she then proceeded to shout at the neighbours she thought reported her.

@Whataboutwhat, she was practically stalking me at the time, asked a lot of nosey questions, and the guy from the pub told me afterwards that she thought he was living with me.

She apparently couldn't understand why he hadn't been evicted as well! He lived round the corner from me 🙄

She'd come to me and demand to know why I'd left the house with, say, a blue clutch bag but come back without it. I'd patiently explain that, as I'd been shopping, it was in my carrier bag coming back. She'd keep asking "But the blue bag! Why weren't you carrying it?"

I was working freelance, not making much, and talked about it with my friends. She evidently put 2 and 2 together, made 700, and made her first fraud accusation. I've got no idea why she thought the guy round the corner was living with me. We are not surrounded by sane, rational people 👀

How do you know someone reported you? Sorry, I am curious as I was investigated for council tax as I was claiming single person discount. I have no idea what triggered it, I don’t even have any male visitors not even a dad or a brother 🤷🏼‍♀️. I suddenly got a bill for over a thousand pounds as they went back quite far . They investigated, wanted 6 months of all my bank statement, bills etc but eventually they reinstated it. It was a horribly stressful time for me as a widowed single parent.

Nope no neighbours with kids. Mainly elderly people. My niece and nephew are grown up . Same with friends kids . All adults.

And no I don't get how I'm supposed to know things I can't see or hear. You say the same way other people find out about child abuse- well how DO they find out?

You are really doing your best to try and paint me as though id watch kids starved raped and beaten but in all honesty I DONT KNOW ANY BLOODY KIDS.

Tread lightly on other people’s lives.

<Heavy sigh>

In the same way many people find out about abuse.

The bottom line is you’d never report any child abuse because you matter more, and you’re trying to deflect from that scumbaggery obtuse “well how would I know”.

OK here’s another one - you hear your neighbour’s kids getting hit constantly, screaming asking their parents to stop, you hear them trying to drown their kids in a bath (as happened with a recent SCR following the horrific death of a 9yo).
What do you do about it?

And as for statistically knowing abused children, well if that's the case it must be one of my 3 grandchildren as I don't know any other kids..

My god you don’t get it at all do you. Do you think I know you or something and I am making specific comments about your GC?

Also fine this hard to believe - you don’t have friends or family at all that have children? No neighbours with kids? No kids on your world at all?

If a neighbour was raping his 7 year old daughter then how would I know?? This is the point exactly

And as for statistically knowing abused children, well if that's the case it must be one of my 3 grandchildren as I don't know any other kids...

Eh? WTF?

Im not asking you to find abused children and report it 🤣

But you’ve made it clear that even if you did know an abused child, for example if your neighbour/relative/friend was raping his 7yo daughter, you’d just stick your fingers in your ears and pretend nothing was happening. Can’t be a grass now can we! Much more noble to be a child abuse enabler .

BTW statistically you most likely do know abused children.

If my so who was just going about his day was shot and killed then too right someone else with information should report it (only in very, very rare and genuinely dangerous circumstances would someone have to go into witness protection, and it’s usually temporary and accommodated for well). I wouldn’t say “Ah fair enough” - also if another child was killed because you refused to come forward, how would you feel? When does it stop? I’m pleased I’m not selfish enough to think an inconvenience to me trumps the safety of other people.

I don't KNOW any abused children. And tbh how likely is it I would know any? Where the hell would I find abused kids ?

It doesn’t make it ok to commit fraud - I’d rather that money was claimed and the £2bn was also saved.

I guess I don't believe anyone should have to have them selves put into witness protection so I can experience "justice". It's brave that people put themselves in these situations but there's no way I would do it. I wouldn't expect anyone else to do it for me, and I do think it's easy to say you would do it when your not faced with the reality. I definitely can't blame anyone for not doing it.

I think most people who have a moral code about grassing have their exceptions. There is very little I would report, but I have reported child abuse and would do so again. I just don't think fraud is something I would report.

I’m not sure why being a walkover and not reporting someone who is ultimately costing you money is ever the better idea.

A quick Google has shown me that apparently there are 19 billion in unclaimed benefits a year. In all honesty I think it probably balances out and therefore I just don't care enough to potentially put a match to someone's life over it. Joe down the road may get caught one day, but I sure what no part in that I guess.

There is a difference but I’m talking about the SAME attitude that ‘grassing’ is completely and totally unacceptable.

Rhys Jones was caught in the crosshairs of a gang member shooting at another gang member.

I figure that if I was a witness or knew something about another mother’s little boy being killed, and I said nothing because I didn’t want repercussions, I’d have no right to expect anyone would help my own child. I do in a way believe in karma in that if you ‘put out’ selfish motives then people will in turn to be selfish towards you, and I could t live my life that way:

Anonymous trots do work well and you can give evidence in court anonymously.

You say it’s a world apart but you say you wouldn’t report an abused child. By the motivation of self interest you’d sit by whilst that abuse continued. Tells me all I need to know

You can be bothered about both things though. Because both things are the reason those of us who are good citizens are out of pocket. And whilst Joe himself may only defrauding the tax payer of a relatively low figure, collectively all the Joes cost us taxpayers £2 billion a year. £2 billion!! Think how much genuine benefit claimants could be topped up with that money, or children’s centres, youth centres, improved schools, roads, facilities, the NHS, everything.

You do you but for that very reason I’ll continue to stay mad.

Huge huge difference between murder or child abuse and someone claiming benefits as a single person when in fact they have moved their partner in. The two are not even vaguely comparable situations.
And wasn't Rhys Jones a kid that got caught up in a gang killing? Because I mean, I'll report and have reported child abuse but I am sure not involving myself by "grassing" on any gang activity, not because I don't want to be a "grass" but because I would like to not have to go into witness protection. It's sure easy to sit on the internet and say you'd tell the police stuff if you had witnessed this kind of thing, a lot harder to actually do in real life.

Well no I don't know about anonymous reports and whether they work well or not Never had the need to find out. But seeing as the world and his wife all seem to have data breaches, leaks of information etc id not trust stuff to remain anonymous

But this is all a world apart from people with untaxed cars and lack of TV licences anyway which is the stuff I commented on the thread originally