To think he should have booked annual leave

Let her decide.. my daughter decided at same age..she didn't want to go anymore.. it was only every Sunday.. he sat and read the paper.. she sat and watched TV.. at 15 ..it's not like Dad can take them to soft play or the park.. they want to hang around with their friends etc

@BillyNotQuiteNoMates not unreasonable to have hoped he'd have arranged some time for them together but if she'll be 16 by end of year she'll be able to choose her terms for contact then as you're probably aware?

How long is a Child Arrangements Order in force for?
The contact arrangements set out in a Child Arrangements Order remain legally binding until the child reaches the age of 16 unless the order specifically states otherwise. This is in accordance with section 91(10) of the Children Act 1989. After this point it will be up to the child to decide how much contact they would like to have with the parent they do not live with

I do agree it's beyond a joke that he only has his daughter 3 weeks per year and he can't prioritise spending time with her for those 3 weeks by at least taking most of it off as annual leave when he gets 7 weeks per year, it's less than half!

You say that she had no plans with friends- does that mean she would have been bored at home too? Don’t most 15/16 year olds call an ordinary day boring because they are a very dramatic age? In my kids cases, seeing their friends is how they made their day “not boring”. Did she take some school books or hobby bits like reading books to pass the time ?

Most 15 year olds don’t have their parents or family home looking after them during the school holidays so I think it’s fine that dad went to work some days. yanbu to think that he should have made some time for her.

It’s not parental alienation to let her know that she has a choice. Tbh it sounds like she could opt for shorter periods with dad because they haven’t fallen out as such and make it clear that she expects some attention and time with him.

I agree with you OP he could have taken time off to spend with your DD - he has really missed out!! What an idiot man, I bet she was bored to tears!! At least at yours she could have met her mates etc!!!

I think you are perfectly reasonable to think he could have spent a few days chilling with his DD - I do think though you need to ask your DD if she really wants to go in future as it sounds tedious for her!

That, or would it have been possible for him to book a different week when others could cover, and then she visit him that week instead? How set in stone are the visit dates, could it have been moved if this was the issue?

The rolling of her eyes was your cue to ask her how she feels about going!

Time with the non living with you parent should be for the child's benefit. There's no benefit for her so I'd tell her it is up to her what she does. That's not alienation.

Yeah I think the same.

At one point I would've thought the court order was the overarching plan and I could do nothing about it as it was court ordered. So I would suck it up, and be unhappy and bored.

OP just tell her at 15 she can make choices. Even if your ex thinks now after all these years its parental alienation itll take ages to get to court where crucially your child will get to say how she feels.

It never fails to amaze me the number of parents ( usually mothers) who are desperate for their DC to maintain a relationship with their fathers and/ or grandparents when there is very little interest shown by the fathers and grandparents!
My exh made it clear he would see our DC only if it suited him ( and it rarely did) so I simply stopped sending them . He never took me to court .
My DC are now adults and have virtually no contact with their father.

She's 15 ffs. A few years ago she could have got married at 16! Neither you nor her father need to take time off work to sort out childcare for her any more, though if you want to spend time with her then great. Tell her the score, and let her make her own mind up.

It seems that neither you nor she have moved on from her being 8

Your ex should have taken some annual leave, definitely.

All the people saying that OP’s DD would have asked to come home if she was genuinely bored, or that she’d have said she didn’t want to go in the first place etc….were you a child of divorced parents? Taking the step of saying you don’t want to visit the absent parent is massive.

For as long as I could remember I saw my Dad every other weekend. At times it was boring, and as I got older I had plenty of other things I’d have liked to do. But it literally never occurred to me to say I didn’t want to go. Weekends with my Dad was such an established part of my life - like going to school, cleaning my teeth, having a bath, eating vegetables - it would never have entered my head to say “you know what, I don’t want to do this any more”. It was just accepted.

So OP’s DD may be bored out of her mind at her Dad’s, but it would still be a huge step to say she doesn’t want to go any more.

I think you should talk to your DD about her time with her dad (and you). Explain that, at her age, courts take her wishes into account. There is no real problem with her being 'bored' sometimes but she could talk to her dad about some things she would like to do when she is with him - some 15 year olds don't have many shared interests with their parents. Did they go out for any meals when she was there? Spend their evenings together? She can ask him if he can take some time off work when she's there.

She should stop seeing him and enjoy time with her friends and at home. He hasn't made her his priority.

She old enough to decide whether she wants to go or not. Also it's not your responsibility to ensure she has a good relationship with him. That's down to him and it seems like he isn't really making much of an effort to do that so why should you?

Also if she hadn't been at her dad's but at home she may well have been able to make plans to do something.

exactly. which is why it’s odd she seems not to have had any communication with her mother whilst she was there about being bored

i agree but those of us with 15/16 year olds…. don’t read too much in to “i’m bored”. She hasn’t any plans with friends so wasn’t missing out on anything

sounds like it’s more regular than that…. weekends too

Possibly true. But if you are only going to spend 3 wks holiday a year with your kid then I don't think it's unreasonable for the expectation to be that you to actually spend those weeks with them. Yes, maybe if she had stayed at home op would have been working and she would have been equally bored, but I doubt op uses less than 3 wks holiday on her dd! Also if she hadn't been at her dad's but at home she may well have been able to make plans to do something.

I would find a way to let her know that she has the option not to go. If you don't want to tell her directly could you make sure she overhears you having a conversation about it.

You can't be blamed for alienating her, she won't think that you are encouraging her not to go, but she will be aware that she can choose.

she chilled, revised, went on her phone too much, came home, said she was “bored”. She had no plans that week so no doubt would have been a bit bored wherever she was

OP previous post has said there are no half siblings

No half siblings - one step brother who is in the army and not around

she’s 15 and had no plans and presumably a load of revision and came back and said she was “bored”

like many a 15 year old!

and op hasn’t mentioned whether she was truly alone or had half siblings around