DH pressuring me to find a job

Nothing wrong with wearing a uniform .You could go to University and study nursing, occupational therapy or physiotherapy.All these jobs offer part time hours.I studied and worked with 3 children ,plenty of women do this.

I'm listening, OP!

Nah he can't expect you to still do everything for the kids and the house. If you are both working then you need to share the children and house responsibilities.

There's dignity in earning your own money and pride in providing for your children.

Maybe the Primark worker would be offended that you dared to condescend their efforts at being indeoendent and providing for their children as wage slavery.

Because one partner having to carry the financial burden for the family when the other is able to work is unfair - however high their income. It is nobody else’s job to keep you in a style you wish to become accustomed - they then become your wage slave.

Or maybe if your partner is a higher earner it enhances everyone's quality of life to spend more time at home. What's the point in money for hobbies if you don't have time to enjoy them? I know someone has to work at Primark. But I would never dare condescend retail workers by thinking for a second they find wage slavery more fulfilling that time with their family.

Well no but someone needs to work in Primark.

Work builds self esteem and confidence, it gives you money to provide for your children, money to fund hobbies and most importantly funds your pension for when you are old. It also pays taxes into society which is part of being a good citizen as those taxes are needed to pay for those who cannot work like the sick and the retired. Once children are in school mums should be building something for themselves, it's for their future and their childrens future.

Also she said start there and look at a career path. If you start checking out clothes in Primark and you're still doing exactly that 20 years later you're doing something wrong.

There's more to life, like working in McDs!! 🤣😂😅😆

Actually, it's really depressing. For some career women there might be. But for a run of mill wage slave job - no. Time with our children is precious and finite and some of us are fortunate enough to have more than others. I think it's important we don't lose sight of this. Nobody on their death bed thinks "oh I wish I'd done a few extra shifts in Primark".

Great idea, if that appeals to you

I remember this thread I am perched to hear if the husband is participating in childcare and housework now that you have a job.

@neverbeenskiing I totally agree - having run a business and also in the past worked in HR and office management I actually think if I gave up my business I would both enjoy being a TA and be pretty good at it. I hate it being suggested as some kind of 'fill in' job for people who haven't worked for years or have no skills - really annoys me!!

I sincerely wish people would stop suggesting this EVERY time a SAHM posts that they don't really want to work but are having to reluctantly consider because of circumstance, or because their DH has insisted.

Our TA's are skilled professionals who work with our most complex and vulnerable children. They are expected to deliver evidence based interventions including SEMH sessions for kids with Trauma and Attachment needs, run social communication groups, deliver 1:1 Speech and language support, gross motor skills support and direct support to kids with conplex medical needs, as well as academic interventions.

TA's also need the right temperament to be effective. They need to be nurturing but firm and consistent. They need to be highly resilient, adaptable, calm in a crisis, excellent communicators and able to work on their own initiative in an unpredictable environment.

Maybe OP does possess all these qualities but there's nothing to suggest that this is the case and its a bit frustrating (and insulting to my TA colleagues) when it's framed as something anyone can have a crack at.

Well done Op 💪! That is awesome. Good for you and looking forward to update.

Well done OP! This thread is almost full anyways so maybe start a new thread and add the link to this one to direct us over x

Thank you for coming back and updating us.....look forward to hearing more as and when you feel ready! ❣️

Blimey, sounds intense - maybe report your original post and ask to move to Relationships?

Just on the point of fitting work round school... It's actually easier than you might think. My current job was advertised as 37hrs. I asked for (and got) 30 hrs. I do 6 hours a day, so I work when DS is at school.
This is actually rather less likely, I think, with something like waitressing where there are shifts to fill.
I wonder if you might be a bit low on confidence? Since you like the idea of working but resist actually doing it. And I can really understand how, if you've been out of the loop for a bit, it might seem a bit daunting.
I can only second @CozyWinterDuvet's advice on what to do about it.

Well done on thinking this over op. Now you have a job make sure you don’t burn out doing everything at home too, he needs to do some!

You asked if you're being too superior, and the answer is yes.

What's wrong with wearing a uniform?

Him wearing a suit has no bearing on you. You are your own individual and as it is, with no self esteem.
Having a job will give you some power back and jobs lead to other jobs.

A year or two from starting, you could have had promotions or changed jobs.
Where you start is just that, a starting point.

Having pride in your job would be best and a good lesson for your kids.
If you're that embarrassed, then change into your uniform at work.

Don't sit at home complaining but not doing anything about it. It's not up to your husband, you can make changes if you really want to.

If you'd started after you posted, you'd have half a year of experience under your belt by now.

He won’t pay for further education either as that’d be taking money from the kids.

Hang on, so he won’t share the chores or childcare, and he won’t invest in your future (although it would likely help your kids more in the medium term)?

What’s your marriage like OP?

London is expensive. Children are expensive. Buying houses is expensive. Education is expensive. Being the sole earner in a household is a huge amount of pressure and being financially dependent on someone else is never a good idea. You’ve been out of the workforce for 9 years, fairytale job is not just going to pop up begging you to come and work for them. You need to get back in the habit of working and start small to get more recent work experience. There is nothing wrong with wearing a uniform to work and you are not in competition with your husband in any event. You are a team working towards shared goals. Both children are now in school - time for phase 2 of your adventure together!

I agree, any public-facing job can be extremely stressful. People take their frustrations out on you. Some reception jobs are quite skilled to, require training.

However I doubt the op's husband meant anything derogatory, he just doesn't know.

I think finding a job with hours that fit in with school is what the op is looking for.

I do think it is time to find a job, op, and to set your sights a little lower. It won't be forever, you can find something more in keeping with your education later on, When kids are small people do all sorts of jobs and sometimes they are very satisfying, plus you meet new people and expand your view of life. Have a good look around and see what is on offer. It would be nice to have some money that is yours too, don't forget that.

Good luck.