WIBU to wake them up

I should have added op. After sleep over we usually have a very chilled sofa day, watching movies. Means teen can catnap and usually heads of evening tired tantrum

Glad it all worked out, just seen the updates re your DD, as my DS (autism/adhd) has got older he has been better out of routine than when he was younger. Strangely he's always generally been ok on sleepovers, maybe because they are completely different so it is not even close to his normal routine. His sleep pattern now (16) is very much that of a typical teenager.

Think it's pretty clear what is meant. You are just looking to nit pick

Sounds like she had a fab time and will be able to have further sleepovers at yours

Maybe moving forwards is that your daughter helps choose what's for breakfast the next morning. You can quietly wake her up at the time she needs to be up for her routine and she could help you to prepare it. She could lay the table, make cute paper napkin animals or something. She'll definitely get kudos with her mates and it keeps the situation easier for you to manage.

I think, given they were in your lounge, yes, I’d have woken them up.

In my family we think waking children up is a sin 🤣 id be more annoyed a cranky teenager coming home haha

I understand op I have 3 kids and dh is dad to one who is autistic. Often dh doesn't realise things are different because the other two are a bit older so no comparison.

Glad it went well.

You sound like my mother. She never allowed lie ins so that I would keep my routine for school. I just became sleep deprived and depressed and anxious about rest and being called lazy. Not saying you call your kids lazy- but give them a break!

Are you using the work neurological when you mean neurotypical

How lovely your daughter is walking round with a big smile on her face. What a successful sleepover and lovely treat for her.
She might settle okay tonight seeing as she’s had a good day. Fingers crossed OP.

She said multiple times that she didn’t realise it was important. What’s the point of grilling her when she already answered your question? So silly.

@ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine

Hope all is calm in your household this morning OP. If they're still asleep and there's no need for the guest teens to be up and moving yet, I'd let them be. Maybe start cooking bacon and egg and see if they stir from sleep with the delicious smells. 🌹

RTFT

My autistic teen I wouldn't wake for love it money on a weekend. He just continues his usual weekend routine whatever time he wakes.

What?!!! Their routine?!! They’re teenagers 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I had five 12 year olds yesterday morning, who I reckon hit the hay at about 4am. I served up rolls, square sausage and tattie scones at 10 - they devoured them then left of their own accord! Hurrah!

I think that as they will have been awake long past 11 pm anyway , any routine is now completely gone , just let them be ! I’m really pleased for her that she has had a sleepover, hope she’s had a great time. Mine would always be exhausted the day after anyway. My now adult children’s friends now tell me that they loved sleepovers at our house, apparently I used to leave a tray of treats outside the bedroom door for them, not that I can remember!

Op sorry if l came across antagonistic.. l apologise.. having two daughters and four Grandsons with ASD.. it might matter to them.. but then again because she's probably had an amazing time with her friends.. today might just be a good day for her.
She will probably gradually get back into her own routine.
I hope she has had a brilliant time that she wants to do it again.
But I'd not wake them.. and let them all wake up together.

@ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine - we began thinking along the lines of ND when younger DD was about 13. It’s so good you’ve had the diagnosis. We began adjusting about 3 years before we got the diagnosis and when the diagnosis came our DD and we were all relieved and pleased. It allows everyone to be more realistic about what’s doable and what isn’t.

I'd say it's very much child dependent as well. My autistic DS (16) has never needed a strict routine for bed or waking up. He likes to sleep in occasionally.
Don't feel a wally OP, at least you asked and took the answer well! We used to stay up ALL night on sleepovers as kids (on purpose, we used to pinch each other to stay awake) and were fine the next day (just bloody knackered).

If the parents were the type to want their 13 year olds on a strict sleep schedule they were a bit daft to allow them to go to a sleep over. It's perfectly normal to have no sleep at all until the early hours and catch up in the morning. I would want my sitting room back at some point so in the unlikely event they hadn't stirred by 11ish I'd be making some noise.

@ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine do you have younger children? Did you not sleep in when a teen ?

Routines for a NT tend to because of relate to an external commitment, e.g. school. Weekends tend to be free and easy at any age.

Mine wouldn't have routine at weekends since about 5 years old. Other than afternoon sports commitments.

The ASD and routine requirement will be very important to mention to others who may be responsible for your child. So if the sleep over is reciprocated you will need to let the parent know.

Oh come on. They're 13 years old, not 13 months old.

One late night won't kill them. If they're tired later, they might have a little sleep when they get home - I used to after sleepovers at that age. But they'll be right as rain by teatime.