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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not do anything for unwell husband

109 replies

Pitapata · 06/04/2024 19:43

Husband has been poorly for some time. Very chesty, lots of horrible coloured phlegm, complaining of chest & rib pain along with breathlessness.

I have been doing absolutely everything house, kids, work etc.. whilst he's been unwell.

I finally managed to convince him to go and see the GP who told him she thinks he needs to go to the hospital he refused to do so and so she prescribed him some ABs in the meantime.

This was days ago, the ABs are yet to make any difference, unsurprisingly as GP thought he needed hospital but he is still saying no way to going and waiting hours and hours in an A&E.

Aibu to say that if he refuses to go to hospital as recommended by his doctor that's the end of my sympathy and ill be doing nothing else for him now whilst he lies in bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pitapata · 06/04/2024 19:52

Mindymomo · 06/04/2024 19:51

Of course I would look after my DH if he was ill, like he would if I were also ill. The thought of spending countless hours in A&E would also put me off, do you have an oxygen reader to see how his breathing is, otherwise if may take a while for AB to work.

I have been for weeks. It's just disappointing that he won't help himself by just doing what a doctor has told him to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pitapata · 06/04/2024 19:52

PriOn1 · 06/04/2024 19:46

It’s neither an accident, nor an emergency, so A&E isn’t appropriate. Presumably the GP would have referred him in. Aren’t there out of hours clinics in the UK that could serve the same purpose?

Alternatively, back to the GP on Monday, unless he worsens in the meantime.

But at this point what can the GP really do? They have assessed him, listened to his chest etc etc and told him in their opinion he needs to be seen at the hospital and referred him there. What would going back to them achieve other than the same advice?

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 06/04/2024 19:51

Of course I would look after my DH if he was ill, like he would if I were also ill. The thought of spending countless hours in A&E would also put me off, do you have an oxygen reader to see how his breathing is, otherwise if may take a while for AB to work.

Original poster
Pitapata · 06/04/2024 19:50

PriOn1 · 06/04/2024 19:46

It’s neither an accident, nor an emergency, so A&E isn’t appropriate. Presumably the GP would have referred him in. Aren’t there out of hours clinics in the UK that could serve the same purpose?

Alternatively, back to the GP on Monday, unless he worsens in the meantime.

She did refer him but he refused to go.

I have spent the past 3 weeks begging, pleading, threatening to drag there myself, running round after him like a bloody nurse just to get him to see the GP so yes I'm pissed off now that he isn't following the advice of said GP because he "can't be arsed waiting hours at hospital to be seen". But instead would rather take longer to get better or even worsen all the while I'm having to do absolutely everything for everyone because he can't.

I've just lost so much sympathy for it now and it just frustrates me now more than anything when he complains about being unwell... do what the doctor told you to then?!

OP posts:
carerlookingtochangejob · 06/04/2024 19:50

PriOn1 · 06/04/2024 19:46

It’s neither an accident, nor an emergency, so A&E isn’t appropriate. Presumably the GP would have referred him in. Aren’t there out of hours clinics in the UK that could serve the same purpose?

Alternatively, back to the GP on Monday, unless he worsens in the meantime.

If the GP has advised him to go to the hospital A &E is definitely appropriate!! 🙄 of course it it!!!

PriOn1 · 06/04/2024 19:46

It’s neither an accident, nor an emergency, so A&E isn’t appropriate. Presumably the GP would have referred him in. Aren’t there out of hours clinics in the UK that could serve the same purpose?

Alternatively, back to the GP on Monday, unless he worsens in the meantime.

loverrr · 06/04/2024 19:46

Well I guess you could but seems like a mean thing to do to someone you presumably love.

Hatty65 · 06/04/2024 19:45

To be honest, whilst I understand your frustration, he sounds really ill and I'd be worried about him. It's pretty unkind to refuse to do anything for him when he is genuinely ill.

Can you persuade him that he does need to be in hospital if the ABs are not working?

choixduroi · 06/04/2024 19:45

I would escalate it a bit and say that if not for himself, for the sake of you and the kids he needs to get this health concern checked out at the hospital. What if it were something serious? In other words I would elevate the nagging at this point.

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