To not do anything for unwell husband

Is he hoping that if he waits long enough he’ll be so ill he needs an ambulance and then won’t have to wait in a&e?! Woo, he can skip the queue!
Honestly I agree with you OP. He is refusing to help himself, so why should you run yourself into the ground helping him? There is only so much you can do.
Stoic men who think they know better than medical professionals really piss me off TBH. I know loads of people will come for me and say ‘NAMALT’ but in my experience, it’s mainly men who are like that. Sitting in a&e isn’t fun. Neither is dying from a treatable condition.

This happened to my brother. Cold/chest infection, turned into pneumonia. He refused to ask for any help. Day(s) later, turned to sepsis and he died.

Your DH is being totally stupid.

I was referred to A&E by my GP and was later admitted. If you do go, go early. I got there at 6am and while there was still a wait, it was much quieter. Had I got there at noon I would have been there for a hell of a lot longer.

I'm the very much the same, if you aren't prepared to take the advice given or try and help yourself I loose sympathy.
He didn't follow advice given by his GP.
He does sound unwell though and maybe an encouragement to get him to call 111 and leave him to it

Ask him what's the plan if he gets worse and needs an ambulance, who does he want you to contact to attend hospital with him as obviously you will be with your kids trying to comfort them after witnessing their dad collapse and need urgent medical intervention. Look nobody likes medical appointments or hospital, but he has a wife and kids that need him so time to follow doctors orders.

It's pretty unkind to refuse to do anything for him when he is genuinely ill

It's pretty unkind of him to do nothing to help himself

Sounds like gp suspected pneumonia if she told him to go in and have a chest xray. He needs hospital care if it is. Maybe his oxygen levels were low.

A month ago I had to sit and wait for 5 hours while my very ill mum waited to see a consultant. So I can see how this would put people off. She did have pneumonia and had to stay in for 5 days.

I hope you persuade him to go in OP.

I'm torn on this. On one hand I'm petrified of getting a cold because my lungs only work at 40% capacity, so a chest infection could kill me.

But I'm not sure if I'd go to A@E at the moment because of the waiting times. My body craves sleep when I'm unwell, and I find it really hard to sleep in A@E, I've tried it in the past, and it's not worked.

The difference between me and your husband, is that I know exactly how to treat my chest infections (antibs, steroids and home nebulizer every four hours).

I certainly wouldn't just give up on your partner. He should be in hospital, but I understand his reluctance. Don't make him struggle to make himself a drink or something to eat.

You may be fed up of looking after him the family and the home, but he could be seriously ill.

If he's unwilling to go to hospital I'd sit him down and make sure his affairs are in order. Will, life insurance, passwords you'd need to any accounts etc. Might wake him up a bit.

GPs can absolutely refer to A&E, sometimes it’s more of an urgent care side but some units don’t have that so it’s just the main A&E department that community staff can refer in.

@Pitapata not much you can do if he refuses to go! Can understand you not wanting to help him after weeks if he chooses not to help himself by getting the correct advice and treatment which will prolong his illness.

Totally agree! Wants you to help him but won't help himself? Nope from me!

If he has pneumonia, it's highly possible that he doesn't realise how bad he is as it has an imagine on cognitive thinking?

Is he normally this stubborn?

How frustrating. So he’s waiting til he needs an ambulance. He is being very selfish but I couldn’t stop caring for him.
What was GP concerned about? Were his sats very low?

He's probably scared, he knows it might be serious and would rather stick his head in the sand. It's understandable if frustrating.

I'd try and arrange to take him. Just present it as a done deal regardless of complaining.

Well that didn't take long 🙄

Obviously it's not an accident. Even a complete idiot would know that based on the OP's post. What you do not know and cannot know is if it's an emergency. Only the trained medic looking at him can know that.
A & E pedants are so tedious.

Op I agree with you, I would be furious and I would read him the riot act that either he goes to hospital or he gets out of bed and pulls his weight around the house and with the kids. It’s an either/or. I wouldn’t wait on him either because he sounds like he’s being a stubborn fool regarding his health

Seem at the hospital by whom? They wouldn’t refer to A&E because this isn’t an accident or emergency. Who did the GP arrange for him to be seen with?

I went to my GP once and when they listened to my symptoms and checked me over, they said I needed my liver seeing to and I was sent to A&E but they called ahead so they knew why I was there and I was taken through for testing. I wasn’t just sent to wait in A&E and reel off my symptoms again.

My gp referred my son to a&e and messaged ahead to say he was on his way - a&e can be where you are referred to.