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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why can’t they spell my son’s name correctly

114 replies

Itstakeawaynight · 06/04/2024 18:24

Our son is 26. The shortened version of his name, which is the only version we’ve ever used since the day he was born has three letters. The female version has two letters.

My sister in law, every single time, every birthday card, every present label is always spelt the female way, with two letters. It’s really pissed me off over the years, but she’s highly sensitive to criticism so I’ve never corrected her. She’s still just done it again on his birthday. Would I be unreasonable to say something.

OP posts:
Wordsmithery · 07/04/2024 05:17

Let it Jo/e

shearwater2 · 07/04/2024 04:24

Jo/Joe is not a nickname for Joseph, it is a diminutive.

A nickname is something like Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff.

nothingsforgotten · 07/04/2024 04:21

What does it matter? You've left it a bit late, and anyway surely it's more important that she has given him all these gifts rather than how she spells his name on the card.

MaybeRevisitYourWipingT3chnique · 07/04/2024 04:13

Bakersdozens · 07/04/2024 00:00

but nicknames don't have a spelling.

Show quote history

I think they do if you (the name-bearer) choose to spell them a certain way, when they're used to address or refer to you.

I have a friend called Olly (obviously short for Oliver, but only his parents call him that!), but everybody else I know spells it 'Ollie' in WhatsApp groups. I'm no amazing clairvoyant name expert; I just asked him how he spells it when I first met him.

MaybeRevisitYourWipingT3chnique · 07/04/2024 04:09

Is she Scottish? Maybe she's just using 'Jo' as a lovely (unisex) term of affection, and not meaning it to be short for Joseph or Joanne at all!

Delphiniumandlupins · 07/04/2024 04:04

How lovely she's still sending him birthday cards (presents?) at 26. I hope he sends a nice thank you.

Itsonlymashadow · 07/04/2024 01:51

Genuinely couldn’t get worked up about this.

My mum family in Ireland always spelt my name phonetically. I don’t give a shit. I was appreciative they sent a card.

cariadlet · 07/04/2024 01:42

I voted YABU because you have never corrected her. How is she supposed to know?

If you had politely told her the correct spelling every time that your son received a card or present with the incorrect spelling, then I'd have voted YANBU

Concannon88 · 07/04/2024 01:38

Is it joe? I always wondered why its jo for a girl.

My daughters name can be shortened, either the first part or the 2nd part. We go with the first. However that is a name in its own right, but spelt differently. My gran 9 times out of ten will spell it wrong. Shes even been known to use both spellings in the same text msg to me 🤣

Hahahashower · 07/04/2024 00:23

My Grandma god bless her always wrote the male version of my name. I never did anything but chuckle.

Bakersdozens · 07/04/2024 00:00

BirthdayRainbow · 06/04/2024 23:22

Doesn't matter if Jo can be either. It's not how his name is spelt.

Show quote history

but nicknames don't have a spelling.

Ladyluckinred · 06/04/2024 23:35

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 06/04/2024 20:00

I have a Niamh.

Pray for me.

Haha.. I know an Aoife. Constantly pronounced AY-OH-FEE.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 06/04/2024 23:32

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 06/04/2024 20:00

I have a Niamh.

Pray for me.

@Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy

🙏🙏 🙏 Start keeping a list of the ways it has been said & written!

NewName24 · 06/04/2024 23:28

LenaLamont · 06/04/2024 23:19

26 years? That ship has not only sailed, it's circumnavigated the world and had a party in every port along the way.

Channel your inner Elsa and Let It Go.

Love this.
Well said
Grin

NewName24 · 06/04/2024 23:27

but she’s highly sensitive to criticism so I’ve never corrected her.

Well there you are then.
She has presumably written Jo instead of Joe at least 52 times (assuming she included him on a Christmas card as well as birthday) and not once have you said "Oh, we prefer to spell it Joe".
So YABU to be cross about it now.
He's 26 - if it bothers him he can tell her, but can you explain why you didn't just tell her in the first place if it bothered you ? Confused

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 06/04/2024 23:23

I agree Op, I find it rude when people don't try to learn the correct spelling of someone's name and use it. This is something I always make an effort to do.

BirthdayRainbow · 06/04/2024 23:22

Bakersdozens · 06/04/2024 18:29

Jo and Joe?

YABU because Jo can be male or female

also shortened versions don't always have a "correct! spelling. We happened to realise when my son was at uni that he and I spelt his nick name differently - it had never come up before that! And it didn't matter, and we still spell it differently.

His full name, on his birth certificate, we spell the same

Doesn't matter if Jo can be either. It's not how his name is spelt.

BirthdayRainbow · 06/04/2024 23:21

Another post about someone who is sensitive yet can dish out crappy behaviour.

If they were sensitive they'd know if what they was doing was causing upset. Instead if sensitive accept she's a bully.

LenaLamont · 06/04/2024 23:19

26 years? That ship has not only sailed, it's circumnavigated the world and had a party in every port along the way.

Channel your inner Elsa and Let It Go.

Isittimeformynapyet · 06/04/2024 23:18

How does Dai feel about it OP?

Isittimeformynapyet · 06/04/2024 23:15

Youdontknowmedoyou · 06/04/2024 20:24

Two family members deliberately and maliciously did this to three of our children over the years. It was the tip of the iceberg.
Just let it wash, rise above it and don't entertain.

Did you give your kids names with yooneek spellings?

PennyPickles60 · 06/04/2024 23:12

My sister was named Joanne, to be known as Jo. She writes her name Joe. It pissed my mum off no end 😂

Dsis is 36 now. It’s her choice what she prefers to be called (on paper anyway. Jo/Joe sounds exactly the same when spoken) 🤷‍♀️

huuskymam · 06/04/2024 23:07

Why haven't you corrected her in all these years? At 26 your son should be able to do it if it's bothering him.

My son has a double barreled first name. Won't answer to anything else, he'll correct anyone that tries to shorten it. The first person he corrected was his teacher when he was 6, she called him a few times and he didn't answer, he thought she was calling someone else with the same first part of his name. It was only when she went over to his desk that he realised she was calling him. Told her his name was xxxxx not xy. He's 20 and still corrects people.

MultiplaLight · 06/04/2024 22:48

It has to be Joe.

Mine is much younger.... But do we share a SIL? She even got a football shirt with Jo on it. Every text I reply with JOE and she still doesn't get it.

Latenightreader · 06/04/2024 22:46

My daughter is Frances but two or three people always use Francis. I tend to ignore it, but always press a little harder when writing the ‘e’.