Why can’t they spell my son’s name correctly

It really is! calling it a "diminutive" goes way beyond simply pedantic and into the realms of the obsolete by decades.

You should have told her at the beginning, but why hasn’t your brother told her? Weird thing to start a thread about after all these years. Were you doing it like a name-guessing competition?

@Bakersdozens it really isn't a nickname

Also...all of us will have misspelled someone's name at some point or other. Some of us will have misspelled a name consistently, unaware.

I have an unusual name which is misspelled. My son has a name with two spellings which people usually get wrong. My daughter's name has several spellings and people always get it wrong.

We just don't care. It's a petty and self-centred complaint. Brush it off.

My DH is 62, his sister is 65 and she still can't spell his name. It's a very traditional name which isn't hard to spell. We've given up telling her she is spelling it wrong!

I never even realised one was supposed to be the female spelling and one the male spelling. 😁

I don’t like it when my sons name is spelt the English way instead of Irish.

Even before that made the effort to learn someone’s name correctly. Spelling and pronunciation. To me, not doing that is ignorant.

You’re pissed off because you haven’t said something. Just tell her nicely. She’s made the effort of getting a present wrapping and labelling it (where’s your brother?!) and you’re annoyed at her?

I think it's egotistical as fuck when people get all chewed up about their name being spelled incorrectly.
What does it actually matter?

My name gets misspelled on the regular, as does my son's and my daughter's.
None of us mind. It's not a personal affront.

Make it one if you must...but I think that's a 'you' thing.

Drives me round the bend when people add another letter to DH's name.

Yabu because you have never corrected her. She didnt know the first time and every time sense when you didnt correct has given the message she is spelling correctly.

It may be obvious to you but it isnt obvious to everyone. Perhaps she knew a male Jo and thought that is the usual spelling. Perhaps she has only known female Jo and didnt realise there is a different spelling.

If she is sensitive then telling her now may be worse than telling her the first time.

A friend's wife is either Niki, Nikki, Nickie or Nicky. I only see it written once a year, in their Christmas card, and try to correct it on our list, but never remember if I did that or not, so never sure if I got it right.

Blimey I’m surprised she’s still sending cards/presents at 26; don’t most families knock it on the head at 18/21?
I can’t imagine most 26 year old young men being the slightest bit bothered whether or not they get a card.

He's 26! If it's bothering him, then he's a big boy and can say something himself.

He’s 26, that ship has sailed.

I have relatives who spell my DS’s name wrong. I just ignore it now as they were told. It’s just rude.
But then my FIL always said my DD’s name wrong as he didn’t think we should have had another child 🙄

I kind of get it. My kids have Irish names and I'm always really touched if someone makes the effort to spell them correctly. I'm quite accepting of misspellings and mispronunciations but maybe if they were called Joe I wouldn't be.

Anyway you can't correct her after 26 years, the ship has sailed.

its a nick name

I think I am the female version of that name and they never get mine right either. Always add the last letter to make it male. Drives me nuts.

Isn't Jo the aspirational spelling? Has she got Hyacinth tendencies?

I ALWAYS got my dil's name wrong-I have a best friend with the same name spelled the other way (a very simple 3 letter name). I would have over a present or press "send" on a message and think "shit, did I do it again?" This year I bought her a particularly lovely monogrammed present (which I knew she wanted!) but checked with ds about 10 times before I ordered it! I am determined to get it right from now on.

Your SIL still sends birthday cards to your adult son? How lovely! She sounds a great aunt. So what about the spelling!!

Not sure that is very common.

I think a lot of PPs are being a bit harsh here. Some of the comments criticise OP for never correcting SIL but presumably OP has sent numerous cards, messages etc to SIL with DS's correctly spelled name in that might be a good clue for SIL!

I've an aunt who spells my name wrong 37 years later too. Yep, it's annoying. No, I've never corrected her. She's seen my name written down plenty of times for her to work out the correct spelling. It doesn't really affect my relationship with her but I do see it as a bit careless on her part.

If your son is 26, he should say something if it bothers him. In any case, I know a Jose (pronounced Joe’s, not Hozay), and a Jonah, who both go by Jo. Let it go, OP.

You would not be unreasonable to say something. In fact, it would be my mission to spell and pronounce her name wrongly EVERY DAMN TIME: see how SHE likes it! Passive aggressive to the extreme but it works because I’ve done it 😇