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AIBU?

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Original poster

Due to be a MiL. What are the do's and don"ts to foster a great relationship.

179 replies

MiLbrowniepoints · 06/04/2024 18:10

My son had just announced his engagement. I have met his fiance twice before in a group family setting, so no one on one time with her. She seems lovely and I'm so happy for them.

They live a distance away due to my sons job but due to move nearer home soon, so I will see a lot more of them(I hope).

I see so many threads on MN of hatred for MiL's so what should I do or not do to forge a great relationship with her.

OP posts:
EmilyTjP · 06/04/2024 18:19

From what I’ve read on mumsnet, you should refrain from breathing ever again 😂

CeeceeBloomingdale · 06/04/2024 18:18

Don't take offence if she does things differently to you. It is not a criticism of you so don't take it that way.

AnnaMagnani · 06/04/2024 18:15

Don't expect her to have the same relationship with you as she does with her mum.

Don't expect her to do wifework eg sending all the birthday cards, buying all the presents, arranging all the meetups.

And make it clear you like her, if necessary fake it until you make it.

OhmygodDont · 06/04/2024 18:13

do not offer advice without being asked. Do not suddenly expect a much closer relationship than what you have just because she becomes pregnant.

just be genuinely open as a person and try to get to know her. There is no saying you will be besties nor hate each other but one way to lead to hate is expectations of someone who technically owes you nothing. Blame your child for wrongs or lack of visits not her.

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