To not want to throw in my job to live in France for a year?

I really think this kind of big adventure has to be a shared dream. You will just resent him if you go along with it.

So he wants to disrupt the children, risk your career as the main earner not for some great opportunity for the whole family but so that he can have "an adventure"? How old is he?

The odds are that the grass will be no greener in France. If he is feeling restless and unsettled he needs to look at addressing that where he is and then plan the adventure for when the DC are off to college.

It's not just a matter of where you physically do the work. If OP's company doesn't have a legal presence in France, they'd have to establish one there and would probably be liable for tax in both countries if she lived there but was legally employed in the UK. You can't just fuck off to another country to the one you're legally employed in, even if you work entirely remotely.

Honestly the French don't even really like us. What about emigrating to Australia? They like us and generally people move as they're far better paid over there.

Ugh, YANBU. I studied in Lyon for a few months and while I objectively appreciated that it was beautiful, getting anything done was months of red tape and the culture shock was awful (I was far happier during my months in Spain). I ended up living in a hotel room and continuing to use my British bank account.
Nice wine though...

He's living in a fantasy land. God knows what this would do to your children. Life is real and he doesn't like it but when you have three children you suck it up.

For a year it's really not worth the upheaval. If you were wanting to do it permanently, or at least long term for say 3-5 years, it might be different, but it's not easy to integrate your whole family into life in France, and that's an understatement.

You could go with the view that it's a long holiday where you are going to home ed the children as you move around from one holiday rental to another every couple of months, in which case why stick to France? Why not add Spain or Italy to the mix? But trying to actually behave as if you 'live' there, settling into a house, putting your children in school, finding a GP and a dentist etc, setting up all your utlities etc is going to take you the entire year to get to grips with, and them some.

By which time, you'll be coming home.

I’d say no until kids have finished school. I’d be more in favour of a permanent move but just a year seems a lot of disruption for kids.

Could he go himself for a trip, if he really wants a change? A couple of months, maybe?

It seems like he hasn't considered anything beyond having a vague idea about living abroad for a year. This would be fine if he was alone but he does not seem to have considered the kids at all. If he is intending to settle in a particular town what would he do all day for that year? Where would the kids go to school? How would he integrate if he doesn't speak the language? Seems really odd tbh. Why not look to get a job abroad in a specific place where the children and the family might thrive and then move? What is it he wants from the move? Seems to be very half baked.

It’s a better idea than OP’s DH. As he can work self-employed in France, he should rent an Airbnb and take the kids.

OP can visit on weekends and a shorter holiday.

Yes! What a good idea 🙄

I could as a compromise say I’ll search for a new job

Why do you need to look for a new job to assuage his feelings?

OP, this is all so messed up. He’s like a child you need to placate. He’s even told you he would not support you if you weren’t working.

Do NOT give up the security of your job for this twat, I think you’ll need it.

For a year? No. Either plan to make it a long-term / permanent move, or don't go.

Spend the children's summer holidays in France. That way their education won't be disrupted

Your eldest is either in secondary or about to start, that’s a crap time to move. Generally kids want stability rather than adventure so it’s not surprising he is not keen. If he comes back at around 13 years old, that’s an even harder time to slot back in over here.

It would be so tough for your 11 year old imo

Your dh is being incredibly selfish

Compromise: tell him to rent a villa on the Côte d'Azur for the whole of the summer holidays (staffed of course since you're such a terrible housewife).

Ok feel free to DM but we did actually do this: moved to Paris "for a year" (but ended up staying). V different circs though. Key points -- DH is French, we all had dual citizenship, neither of us gave up our UK job (though I now have) and (most of all) doing this had been part of the "deal" with DH from when we started a family. It was really important to him that the children should spend a year in school in France. In your circs I would not consider it without WAY more planning. It took us years to plan it and then we ended up staying here anyway!

Your eldest is either in secondary or about to start, that’s a crap time to move. Generally kids want stability rather than adventure so it’s not surprising he is not keen. If he comes back at around 13 years old, that’s an even harder time to slot back in over here. Obviously possible but I doubt he will thank you for it. Your dh needs to remember that not everything can revolve around his wants.

Could you suggest a sabbatical off work, and do some travelling, you would not have to give up your job he would get some adventure and the fun of planning it. Children would have an amazing experience

Would I do this? Yes

would I do this with children? Yes

would I do this with a man who thinks having a one income family if necessary is a no because I'm not a great housekeeper? No, fuck no.

he's not thought through the practicalities, he's just a dreamer. You're the bread winner & the sensible one, you decide what's ok for you & the children.

i think while your eldest is only 11 is the best time if you're going to do it though. You've got a few years before you start the GCSE pathway.