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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what your biggest problem in life is at the moment?

765 replies

Biggybigbiggles · 06/04/2024 17:04

Just that really... mine is that I feel frumpy and ugly. Having always been tiny, I've gotten to 30 and I suddenly just feel disgusted with what I see any time someone takes a photo of me.

If you could click your fingers and remove a problem you have, what would it be?

OP posts:
Tryingtobeagoodie · 07/04/2024 01:08

Housing, or lack thereof. I'm very vulnerably-housed at the moment; and on a low income. Mental health struggles, partly causing my situation; and also my situation making my mental health worse. Awake worrying about it.
I got home yesterday to discover my landlord had been in my room without warning, and taken the door handle off, whilst trying to get a key fitted. But he didn't finish the job; so I can't even properly shut my bedroom door. I'm going away in a few hours, and so so anxious. No dignity for the poor.
I'm tired. I desperately need a home. A proper home, so I can thrive again, be creative, healthy, productive, truly alive. All things currently elusive to me 😔

nothingsforgotten · 07/04/2024 01:07

I wish I could afford to buy a flat, but it's never going to happen. Otherwise things are pretty good, nothing to complain about really.

Spoke too soon - I can feel my gastritis coming on!!!

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 07/04/2024 01:05

Keeping on top of housework. I was never brilliant at it and now I have an incredibly clingy baby who doesn’t let me get anything done. I also don’t have any family support so I’m always looking after him. The house looks like a bomb has gone off 90% of the time. And we can’t afford a cleaner.

SargentSuperFan · 07/04/2024 01:01

My elderly mother, my elderly inlaws, my elderly dog. Every day now their needs and care are at the forefront of my mind. Life is very sad. Awful to say it but my lovely old dog makes me saddest of all.

Keeprejoining · 07/04/2024 01:00

O would remove my addiction to mumsnet and procrastination.

Horsesontheloose · 07/04/2024 00:59

I have a tween who is excluded by his friends group and spends everyday with knots in his stomach worrying. He is quiet, kind and has giant amounts of empathy but can't stand up for himself. It keeps me awake at night. You are only as happy as your unhappiest child as they say ..

SargentSuperFan · 07/04/2024 00:58

GreekGod · 06/04/2024 19:10

One of my DC wants to go to Uni In London and am completely terrified. She's got into a fantastic uni and as we have been living overseas for many years in a very safe country, I really don't want her to go and am slowly trying to convince her to go to an excellent Uni in a safer area of the UK but she won't hear of it. The knife crime and crime rates are terrifying me - she's only 18, will be living on her own and has been living in a bubble for the last 18 years, not street wise at all. Trying to educate her but her positivity is so exhausting - really trying to navigate this without terrifying her.

This seems like a pathetic problem compared to those above I have just read. Am really feeling for everyone having a tough time.

I can completely empathise with you. Our DD also chose to go to the London uni out of the various offers she had. We're country mice and the thought of her being in London terrified me. I cried (tried to hide it) when the offer came and she was so excited. She saw I was upset and said it's ok mum, I'll go to Cheltenham instead. But I wanted her to do what she wanted to do not what I wanted her to do. It's her life. I didn't want her to regret or resent missing out on the opportunity because of me.

So she went. She cried when we left her in her grotty accommodation in Southwark (we all did), and she cried when she graduated and had to leave. She had a brilliant time in London - so many adventures and experiences and she now lives quite close to the capital as she met her DH and settled down.

Let her go and wish her well. You'll age 10 years overnight, but you can't hold her back from what she really wants to do.

HerRoyalNotness · 07/04/2024 00:58

Deciding what to have for dinner 😭

mommatoone · 07/04/2024 00:50

BigBarm · 06/04/2024 17:32

My dad having dementia - his decline and knowing that the worst is still yet to come… 😭

I am in this position. It's the most cruel disease ever. ❤️

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 07/04/2024 00:50

Lack of a job. I want my own spending money

moolady1977 · 07/04/2024 00:49

My ddad is dying I'm spending most of my time with him and my dmum and my own physical and mental health is rapidly going downhill . My eldest dson can't get his crohns under control and I feel like I'm being pulled in all directions by them and my other dkids . I can't sleep for longer than an hour at a time as every time my ddad moves or murmurs I'm up even though my dmum is here .
My heart goes out to you all with your problems

theduchessofspork · 07/04/2024 00:48

My weight, always been overweight to some degree and it’s been a shadow over my life

But at 52 it’s really impacting on my health - joints, blood pressure, stiffness, energy

But I binge eat and have really struggled to crack that especially when life is stressful which it always is these days

Good salary but chaotic about money and not much to show for it, and worried I don’t have enough time to make up for it

Worried about my company going under, it’s a terrible time for my industry and I don’t think it will bounce back this time

Awaiting ADHD assessment and life currently going to hell in a handcart, I really struggle to look after myself

Sad about my brothers death a few years ago

A but lonely

Feeling a bit hopeless about the future and very overwhelmed right now

ChishiyaBat · 07/04/2024 00:46

Money, lack of it, desperately searching for a 2nd job.
6 people in a 2 bedroom house, 4adults 2children, it's a nightmare.
Been having some health issues, just minor things, but i'm constantly knackered and in pain.
Oh and i'm fat, but i've always been fat and I don't even care anymore. I live on 1500cals or less a day, I have a physical job, my diet is good, i'm not unfit, but i'm still fat.

Peace and love to all who are suffering❤️

theduchessofspork · 07/04/2024 00:42

@GreekGod

She’ll be grand, it’s a mostly very safe city. Knife crime mostly confined to specific areas.

MintyCedric · 07/04/2024 00:40

Money.

After a rough few years in all kinds of ways I finally have a job I absolutely love…and a second job as well, but I’m divorced with a mortgage and a kid in uni and am barely managing to keep afloat.

If something doesn’t change drastically in the next few months and I’m going to have move out of the town I grew up in to try and reduce my outgoings.

I have somewhere in mind that I love but the timing is shite…I have a dependent elderly parent who won’t move with me and have recently met someone…

I’ve got a rough plan of action but it is literally all I think about 24/7 and the stress is making me ill.

meisafairy · 07/04/2024 00:30

Had a stroke last November and am terrified of dying and leaving my 12 year old behind with my 29 year old. Constant sense of impending doom.

MoodyMargaret11 · 07/04/2024 00:29

GreekGod · 06/04/2024 19:10

One of my DC wants to go to Uni In London and am completely terrified. She's got into a fantastic uni and as we have been living overseas for many years in a very safe country, I really don't want her to go and am slowly trying to convince her to go to an excellent Uni in a safer area of the UK but she won't hear of it. The knife crime and crime rates are terrifying me - she's only 18, will be living on her own and has been living in a bubble for the last 18 years, not street wise at all. Trying to educate her but her positivity is so exhausting - really trying to navigate this without terrifying her.

This seems like a pathetic problem compared to those above I have just read. Am really feeling for everyone having a tough time.

With kindness -
She is 18, you need to let her live her life.
Stop projecting your fears on her - you will either scare her or suffocate her.
You may not want to live in London but she does and she's made her decision. You need to respect and accept that.

oakleaffy · 07/04/2024 00:29

Back pain...Please go away!

LongLaneLove · 07/04/2024 00:28

I'm so sorry for all the posters who are facing such monumental worries and brutally hard situations. I really hope that life gets better and easier soon.

Kneeslikethese · 07/04/2024 00:26

I can't afford the drum kit that would make my sons life better. He needs an acoustic style e-kit to practice at home. He's a musician not a little kid that wants to mess around.

I mean I have many mundane problems of my own but if I could just do this one for him..

Boomarang · 07/04/2024 00:25

.

ShyTed · 07/04/2024 00:22

2024NameChange098765 · 07/04/2024 00:10

You've probably heard all the treatments anyway, but just in case... for me, keto diet MASSIVELY improved my endo - to the point I didn't even realise when I came on, if you can believe it.

Thank you for replying.
i will look into that, thank you. My consultants only option for treatment is a hysterectomy (which I would like) but as my endo has spread so much into my bowel there would have to be removal of that also, leaving me with a stoma bag which I obviously don’t want. At some point I probably won’t have any choice in this and it may be my only option. For now all I can do is to suffer and deal with my symptoms as well as I can. I will look into the diet thank you x

MumAsYouAre · 07/04/2024 00:20

Perma-thrush after having Mirena. Itchy shit show. 😂

zeibesaffron · 07/04/2024 00:13

I’m fat and feel low!
My DH is on the 2 week cancer diagnostic pathway- biopsies done now waiting for outcome
My DD has an eating disorder and is under camhs
My amazing FiL is very poorly

Notthatcatagain · 07/04/2024 00:13

I'm a cancer survivor and while I'm so grateful to have beaten it, the treatment has wrecked my body. My bowels and bladder don't work now, have spent almost 6 hours on the toilet this evening which has done my arthritis no good at all. i've crapped myself 4 times so far, just because I can't move fast enough. I've got to be on the motorway at 9am for a 2 hour journey and I'm dreading it. The absolute horror of being out of the house, away from immediate access to a toilet destroys any joy in my life. I wish they had left me untreated, I honestly don't know how to go on like this for the rest of my life

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