Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what your biggest problem in life is at the moment?

765 replies

Biggybigbiggles · 06/04/2024 17:04

Just that really... mine is that I feel frumpy and ugly. Having always been tiny, I've gotten to 30 and I suddenly just feel disgusted with what I see any time someone takes a photo of me.

If you could click your fingers and remove a problem you have, what would it be?

OP posts:
PrincessOlga · 07/04/2024 18:49

Thefutureisourownpath, I'm so sorry. The next time DD screams at you, just calmly say: I have been thinking long and hard, and I think we must aggravate each other. I've decided that the minute you turn 18, you will evacuate these premises. It's for the best and it's for you I'm doing it... Might sober her up a little.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2024 18:48

Jskdoj12 · 07/04/2024 18:18

No sympathy required.
Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. On my 3rd chemo in 2 years and I don't think it's working. Had a small break between chemo sessions and my hip has flared up, I'm in agony. So my mind is in every place possible where I don't want it to be.
On top of this I just keep thinking about my young newly turned teenage daughter and my husband.
Life can be shite sometimes

Sending you a hand hold - absolutely no sympathy implied - just a fellow feeling. I found a lump yesterday after getting a call back from a mammogram - appointment next week. Swinging between bricking it and optimistic, so I understand how your mind takes you places you’d rather not go. I’m sending you all the good vibes I can muster up, and a very unmumsnetty hug - it must be so hard. I do hope you’re wrong and things improve for you. 🌷

Notmusictomyears · 07/04/2024 18:48

The sadness on this thread is overwhelming. Love to everyone. ❤️

TrixieMixie · 07/04/2024 18:40

My husband is in remission from cancer, which is great but I’m so scared it’ll come back. My dad died last year and my mum lives a long way away. I worry about her all the time. I had a terrible fracture last year and was diagnosed with osteoporosis, which is terrifying. Particularly as I’m only in my 50s and most people I’ve met with it seem to be much older. There is a person at work who has created a lot of problems for me at a time when I could do without it and I’m worried about that too.
Life is very hard work, I’m very tired and I don’t feel anyone supports me in any area of my existence. My mum and husband would probably like to but can’t. I do have lovely friends but with their own lives and problems. So it ends up I’m supporting everyone else and it feels like no-one has my back - I feel I can’t ever drop a ball and am desperately afraid about who will look after my mum and husband if I have more disabling fractures in future. I feel I’ve let everyone down by having osteoporosis which I know isn’t rational.
On the plus side, my husband is in remission, and I do still have my mum. I don’t have the weight or financial problems expressed so often in this thread - I’m slim (though it’s hard work) and have no money worries though we’re not rich. I’ve got good treatment for my osteoporosis. But I’d just like to be carefree again.

AnnieSnap · 07/04/2024 18:39

My husband is 70 and has long Covid. I’m 65 this year and have osteoarthritis. We have only been married 8 years and still have so much to do, so it’s age and health and plays in my mind. I use mindfulness to address it, because worrying won’t make us healthier, or longer living!

DotAndCarryOne2 · 07/04/2024 18:38

Mum has advanced dementia and partner became a double amputee last year. Just beginning to get to grips with it, and on Wednesday I had a letter for a call back from a mammogram I had the previous week. I actually found a lump in the shower yesterday morning, so now I’m absolutely bricking it wondering how we’ll cope if it’s cancer. The only consolation is that I don’t have long to wait as the appointment is the end of this week. Edited to say I have a lovely dog too, as well as a lovely mum and partner.

Thefutureisourownpath · 07/04/2024 18:36

Hiker50 · 06/04/2024 17:16

Fat and lost.
A teen who is horrible.
I'm 50 and mainly ignored at work.
I've just lost two people I loved dearly. .
But I have a lovely dog and today my hair looks nice.

Im 50 and far and have a heart problem
single parent and wish to hell I wasn’t and that I had a supportive lovely partner who team tagged with me and the children, who supported me and was my best friend
I too have a lovely dog

if I could change anything it would be the disgusting way my 17 year old sometimes talks to me - like I’m a piece of shit and her constantly overruling me with my younger one / eg he asks if he can have an Easter egg and I say yes, two minutes later she has snatched it off him and is saying ‘Mum, he’s got an Easter egg again …’ well yes xxxxx he’s broken his up and is having them a small bit at a time and meanwhile you are all yours without permission on Sunday last week. Im constantly fighting for control on my own bloody house and she’s a bloody screamer, screams if you go in her room, she screams if you move any of her stuff she has dumped on the kitchen, she screams if you move any of her stuff that she has dumped in the lounge. She takes my shoes off the shoe rack and puts hers on. She takes my phone off charge and puts hers on. She uses the last milk, bread etc and she has a face like a slapped wet fish half the time - but at school she’s wonderful and an absolute joy!!

Ipcressa · 07/04/2024 18:28

This thread is incredibly sad. I appreciate we all have issues and at some point in our lives, we will all face life altering issues. But the dearth of support speaks volume.

In my case, a teenager who having beat severe MH issues and addiction managed to create a new life with work in a new area, has been violently attacked and is facing homelessness through no fault of his own and not for financial reasons. A return to home area or homelessness is enough to tip back to addiction. I've tried everything I can think of but am so helpless

Ani21 · 07/04/2024 18:26

Am so sorry for all of the tough times and struggles everyone is going through. You truly don't know what goes on in the lives of those we pass in everyday life.

For me, we started trying to have a baby over three years ago, when none of our friends had children. Now they all have children (and some have 2) and we are still trying, with endo, PCOS and low count in the mix. We've had one early miscarriage years ago and nothing since. We have to smile and be enthused about everyone's littluns and what seems like their life moving on. Since age 17, I wondered if I'd ever be able to have children as a result of period issues; it seems life is answering me cruelly. I don't know how I'd handle not having this dream/hope fulfilled.

Losing too many people that I love and life just going on. My heart regularly aches for them.

Endo since my teenage years which can be debilitating but I can never really speak on just how much pain I'm in when there is work or things to be done.

My weight....having PCOS and stress eating does not help. I feel so close to achieving my goal but am self sabotaging with the talk of IVF coming up (what if it doesn't work). I feel an odd kindred-ness with others with weight struggles.

My teeth, ground down because of stress of previous losses, health conditions now resolved and my job. Makes my smile not look so good anymore. I want us to save any money for potential IVF and so won't follow through dentist recommendations.

Having parents who can give lip service but don't know if they genuinely love, care for, are interested me, my brothers and their grandchildren.

Throwing myself into owning my own business because I could control that, but I'm drowning in it. I want to stop but I feel trapped and that I'll let so many people down.

Being a people pleaser.

Not being able to 'stop', 'just relax' or 'enjoy' for very long recently.

They aren't big problems like some here but am hoping for some light and positivity for us all 💐

TmFid · 07/04/2024 18:25

Husband

mum2monkeys88 · 07/04/2024 18:22

For me , not being able to afford desperately needed clothes for my 3 kids! Secondly my weight I can't find any motivation for myself and I hate it

Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon · 07/04/2024 18:22

Winter2020
Unfortunately not. They earn too much.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 07/04/2024 18:20

Similar. Always had the problem of gaining weight fast and losing it slow. But I managed to get several stone off before having DD and keep it off during pregnancy but afterwards, with the tiredness of being a new parent I made bad food choice after bad food choice and now I'm heavier than ever.

Trying to figure out how to get it off without costing us money is hard. And depressing.

Duckmylife · 07/04/2024 18:20

My debilitating OCD

Jskdoj12 · 07/04/2024 18:18

No sympathy required.
Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. On my 3rd chemo in 2 years and I don't think it's working. Had a small break between chemo sessions and my hip has flared up, I'm in agony. So my mind is in every place possible where I don't want it to be.
On top of this I just keep thinking about my young newly turned teenage daughter and my husband.
Life can be shite sometimes

Winter2020 · 07/04/2024 18:12

Notthatcatagain · 07/04/2024 00:13

I'm a cancer survivor and while I'm so grateful to have beaten it, the treatment has wrecked my body. My bowels and bladder don't work now, have spent almost 6 hours on the toilet this evening which has done my arthritis no good at all. i've crapped myself 4 times so far, just because I can't move fast enough. I've got to be on the motorway at 9am for a 2 hour journey and I'm dreading it. The absolute horror of being out of the house, away from immediate access to a toilet destroys any joy in my life. I wish they had left me untreated, I honestly don't know how to go on like this for the rest of my life

I'm sorry things are so difficult.
Is having a stoma bag fitted an option for you?
I think some people find that this option gives them their freedom back.
I hope things improve for you.

GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas · 07/04/2024 18:09

GreekGod · 06/04/2024 19:10

One of my DC wants to go to Uni In London and am completely terrified. She's got into a fantastic uni and as we have been living overseas for many years in a very safe country, I really don't want her to go and am slowly trying to convince her to go to an excellent Uni in a safer area of the UK but she won't hear of it. The knife crime and crime rates are terrifying me - she's only 18, will be living on her own and has been living in a bubble for the last 18 years, not street wise at all. Trying to educate her but her positivity is so exhausting - really trying to navigate this without terrifying her.

This seems like a pathetic problem compared to those above I have just read. Am really feeling for everyone having a tough time.

She will be fine. I live in central London. I have two kids. They travel around solo. It takes some getting used to but I promise it’s busy and safe and she’ll do great. Let her go if she wants to. I know it’s hard hit wanted to reassure you.

Confessionthyme · 07/04/2024 18:08

Health - symptoms I don't know what to do with-are they part of a condition I've been diagnosed with? Am I getting worse? Why do I feel rotten so much of the time? Lost private health care so need to start all over.
Young adult children - neurodiverse, I worry about their (present and) future. When one seems to be doing okay, another dips!
Thoughts and prayers to all those on this thread who are suffering x

wavingfuriously · 07/04/2024 18:06

MarygoldRose · 07/04/2024 17:53

Mum died. She knew she had sepsis, she told A&E she had sepsis, they sent us home. Back the following day, same A&E, sepsis confirmed. Local trust complaint yielded nothing, Ombudsman said 'she received adequate care'. Their lies. Exhausted, shaking when getting a notification of 'new message in your inbox', even though case is closed.

Ombudsman are just hopeless 😔 how about the legal route?

Fluffybagel · 07/04/2024 18:03

Not a big problem as such in the grand scheme of things but no close friends apart from my DH. Would like a close girly friend to chat with now and again!

Muddlingalongsomehow · 07/04/2024 18:00

My cancer, entirely caused by misogynistic gynaecologists ignoring symptoms for 10 months, and my husband's malignant brain tumour, causing memory loss, and speech and comprehension difficulties so I have to do everything. I am so weary.

Chocrock · 07/04/2024 17:54

My son’s mental health
money

if those 2 problems could be resolved life would be sweet

MarygoldRose · 07/04/2024 17:53

Mum died. She knew she had sepsis, she told A&E she had sepsis, they sent us home. Back the following day, same A&E, sepsis confirmed. Local trust complaint yielded nothing, Ombudsman said 'she received adequate care'. Their lies. Exhausted, shaking when getting a notification of 'new message in your inbox', even though case is closed.

Mamasita112 · 07/04/2024 17:51

Very unhappy marriage

A pregnancy I want very much but I know was not the best idea

A big new job I’m dreading going back to tomorrow after a week off

Nicetobenice67 · 07/04/2024 17:48

Poem4funeralhelp · 07/04/2024 17:46

Going through a divorce, started dating again and was dumped.... feeling sorry for myself!

Maybe take time out for yourself it may be to soon for you

Swipe left for the next trending thread