Man in ladies’ loo

Where I live, male cleaners wait outside asking the women that are leaving if they’re the last lady in the ladies. Then they put up a Closed sign, while they clean. And after that, the loo
gets used as it was.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a male cleaner in the ladies whilst I’m in there.

Why are there separate men’s and ladies toilets then? Why not make them all unisex? If there’s no need to keep single sex spaces separate then get rid of them. I think they are needed though.

He should have taken her to the gent's.

Of course you do. Every dad I know has done this. As another poster said, if small boys can go in the men's with their dads, so can small girls.

I've stood shoulder to shoulder at urinals with probably a thousand blokes, and even from that closer vantage point I've never once looked at another penis. The idea that a kid walking through while men have their backs turned could somehow be confronted with a jungle of junk just doesn't match reality.

The only man it is safe to have in the women's toilet is the sort of man who would never dream of going into the women's toilet.

It's interesting that posters think that if men do their share of parenting, women have to pay by surrendering single sex spaces to facilitate them, making the women's facilities family facilities and leaving the men's single sex.

This particular instance of a man was very strange. Seems like he had zero expectation that he would be in the ladies under sufferance and commenting on a stranger using the toilet is bizarre behaviour. If there's a man who could be endured in the women's toilets, he's definitely not it.

You DO not go into the ladies toilets if you’re a man.

As she went to the loo the father and daughter talked through all the steps they were taking and also commented on me ie is that lady also doing a wee, is she wiping her bum etc.

Who was saying all of that?
Because if it was the father then he sounds like a complete pervert.

Personally he should have announced himself entering, checking if anyone was in there and if so where they ok with him entering. If they were not he should have waited until they left then took his child in and stood in the doorway whilst his child went so people entering knew he was there. When I was little my dad would always ask a lady taking her own child in if she would mind taking me in.

The thing is, we WANT dads to be hands-on with their kids, to take them on days out or to the park for a few hours without their mum having to be there. But public toilet design hasn't caught up with the idea of dads having childcare responsibilities. I can think of 2 parks near me that only have baby change tables in the women's. So when DH takes the kids there, if 1yo DD does a poo he has no option but to take her in the women's.

Is it fine to take a small boy into the gents? Or should the dad and boy come in the ladies for that too? I mean what is it you think actually goes on in male toilets? You do realise that men’s toilets at eg soft play or wherever else are not hotspots for cottaging right? And if you think it’s inappropriate for a small girl to be in there, why not equally inappropriate for a small boy?
As I said upthread my DP always takes both his son and daughter to the men’s as he’s a single dad. He wouldn’t dream of marching into the ladies with them. If I’m out with them I will take his DD as she prefers going to the ladies. If all men thought like the one in the OP, toilets would genuinely be unisex. Or rather there would be men’s toilets and mixed toilets.
Also men at urinals (and there aren’t always urinals anyway) do not routinely flash their genitals at small children.

Me neither. Most people weren’t, until a few trans people were going to get some basic rights. Rights which make no difference whatsoever to who uses what toilets or who accesses safe spaces, but here we are.

Just a difference to some women who don't want to share their spaces with biological men but fuck them eh. FYI trans people have the same rights as anyone else. It's the infringement on other's rights and spaces they have no place being due to their sex that's the problem for many. But here we are.

you DO not take a wee girl in the gents.

This is just another covert trans bait thread. The same as the "12-year-old boy in the girls' changing rooms at swimming" crap.

soooo many snowflakes on this thread, the professionally offended. a small child needed the toilet, and he probably didn't want to walk her past several willys hanging out at the urinal (obviously!!) so thought taking her into the female, cleaner and more private bathroom the better option. Dad + child, in a stall , complete privacy for everyone in the other stalls. what on earth does it matter if he needed the toilet too , he was already in the stall with the door closed!! goodness me. people need to care about something other than someone urinating in a toilet behind a closed door. I'm not surprised he was annoyed you were clearly listening to their conversation and involving yourself where not needed.

Here's your grip.

Unless you can provide some sort of evidence that 'dad taking his daughter for a pee' highly correlates to 'violent murderer of women' then you're talking hysterical crap.

I mean, what exactly is the threat here? He’s with his child. He’s teaching her how to use the toilet..

I would have had zero issue with this. If a man is with his daughter and she’s young enough to need to talk through all the steps then of course he’s ok to be in the loo with her!

I've got a 3 year old DD and a 1 year old DS.

I wouldn't like it if DH took her into the men's. They're usually absolutely disgusting and I just wouldn't want her in there. So far we've always managed to use a disabled toilet if he has to take her whilst out, only once had to go to the womens as that was the only space with a baby change (it had been a big poo).

I'm very much GC, but in this instance I would make an allowance. They were in the cubicle, and the chatting thing is really normal for little kids. We've repeatedly gone through lists of everyone DD knows and I've had to confirm that they all poop. Even before children I knew this and just found it funny. There's no reason to be uptight, you're all in the loos to do a wee or a poo after all!

Telling him he can't do a wee - wtf? He'd have to leave and go into the mens, taking her with him - exactly what he didn't want and why he was in there in the first place. What would be the bloody point in making them then troop out to the men's?? If he wizzed behind a tree I bet you'd complain then too.

Have you got kids? This is absolutely what they do. They want to know everyone does the same thing. He's really not being misogynistic.

It's a woman's toilet, not a man's, he should have taken his child into the men's, period. I have a son, and as a woman myself I would never consider taking him into the men's!! Why is it always the women who have to step aside and put up with this nonsense? And why are you women accepting of this? I have had some terrible encounters with men over my life time, so much so I'd have been mortified and yes maybe even afraid seeing him in there. Our boundaries are already being crossed and people here saying oh any man with a child should be able to go into the woman's stops the woman's toilets being for women? Do anyone of you who thinks it's okay know how many women are killed in this country every week? I assume you like the idea of adding to it? Open access to women. Thanks a lot.

Being allowed to use single sex spaces which are fit the oppo sex is not a basic right.

Trans women being allowed in what are meant to be single sex female only spaces do make a difference to some people.

Me neither. Most people weren’t, until a few trans people were going to get some basic rights. Rights which make no difference whatsoever to who uses what toilets or who accesses safe spaces, but here we are.

You are allowed to take your disabled 11 year old son in with you. I take my disabled 10 year old in with me. Have never had an issue.

I'm a dad of daughters. No way in a million years would I have taken them into the ladies toilets. They were absolutely fine getting taken into the men's when small, most Dads do this no one bats an eyelid.