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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man in ladies’ loo

342 replies

Suburbanrunner · 06/04/2024 13:47

I was out running earlier today and stopped to go to the loo in a local park. A man came in at the same time with his young daughter and went into the cubicle next to me. As she went to the loo the father and daughter talked through all the steps they were taking and also commented on me ie is that lady also doing a wee, is she wiping her bum etc. I felt a bit uncomfortable and thought I’d wait for them to leave. However the father then proceeded to say that as they were there he was going to have a wee too. At this point I couldn’t take any more and said could you not do that, please can you go in the men’s. He got pretty aggressive saying what else was he meant to do as he had his young daughter with him. I felt so uncomfortable at this stage that I left (without going to the loo!)
Now I’m questioning myself - aibu to be annoyed he was in the loos? Or was he perfectly within his rights to bring his daughter into the women’s loos and also use them himself?
thank you mumsnet jury!

OP posts:
PressureLikeATickTickTick · 06/04/2024 13:58

He should take his daughter in the mens toilet with him and keep her with him or used the disbaled/ baby change toilets.

VisitationRights · 06/04/2024 13:57

An adult male should never go into or use the female toilets. He should have taken her into the male toilets if she needed to be supervised (don’t know her age, she sounds young.)

TimeGrabsYouByTheWrist · 06/04/2024 13:57

@Suburbanrunner do you have kids?!?!

The girl was asking normal toilet questions for a kid.

It would make a lot more sense for him to go wee whilst he was already there than to drag the girl into the smelly mens loo and have her comment on all the different penises at the urinal!

ASighMadeOfStone · 06/04/2024 13:56

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IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 06/04/2024 13:56

If this happened, the commentary was probably unnecessary.

He probably just didn't want to take his daughter passed a load of men at the urinals in the gents, and he was probably nervous of leaving her unattended if he popped in. I remember being propositioned waiting for my dad outside some gents toilets when I was about 10.

susiedaisy1912 · 06/04/2024 13:55

He should have taken her into to the male toilets with him or used the disabled toilets. And a mother with a young son should go into the female toilets or the disabled toilets. It's not rocket science.

Jharris8 · 06/04/2024 13:55

SparklyBracelet · 06/04/2024 13:54

He got aggressive? Well no one must be told no these days must they. Go where you like, do what you like. Why couldn’t he have waited outside for the kid? Why the running commentary on whoever was doing what in the next cubicle? World has gone mad

Doesn’t say how old the child was, maybe she was 3?

Jharris8 · 06/04/2024 13:54

Screamingabdabz · 06/04/2024 13:53

The commenting on you is pure male arrogance and misogyny. You’re not a person with feelings, you’re just a teaching moment. What a prick and what a shame that that little girl is growing up without a male role model who will teach her about boundaries. Ugh I’m angry for you op.

What on earth have I just read?? 😂😂

SparklyBracelet · 06/04/2024 13:54

He got aggressive? Well no one must be told no these days must they. Go where you like, do what you like. Why couldn’t he have waited outside for the kid? Why the running commentary on whoever was doing what in the next cubicle? World has gone mad

Screamingabdabz · 06/04/2024 13:53

The commenting on you is pure male arrogance and misogyny. You’re not a person with feelings, you’re just a teaching moment. What a prick and what a shame that that little girl is growing up without a male role model who will teach her about boundaries. Ugh I’m angry for you op.

vodkaredbullgirl · 06/04/2024 13:52

Happyinarcon · 06/04/2024 13:48

I find this difficult to believe

Same here

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 06/04/2024 13:52

He was talking to his daughter the whole time

And why not just go when he's there? He's not flashing his bits at you

Just wait 2 seconds more. Men pee quickly

Viviennemary · 06/04/2024 13:50

I think it was ok him being in the ladies loo under the circumstances. IMHO only. Not ok doing that running commentary. Bit pervy??

Jharris8 · 06/04/2024 13:50

Depends on age of daughter tbh and location. The disabled toilet is the ideal option but then it takes away from those who might need it. As a guide I would say

Under 7, yes he should be going in.

7-10 depending on child stay outside and call in etc

10+ should be fine on their own

I could never be too precious about this. If our baby is a DD I wouldn’t want her going into the men’s.

If he’s with his daughter, he’s hardly there to be staring at women having a wee is he.

IDontHateRainbows · 06/04/2024 13:50

It used to be a massive faux pas to use the opposite sex toilets but since gender woo took over, no more

Mimaulka · 06/04/2024 13:49

I feel like the child should go in the adults gendered toilet. It's not like dad is going to be leaving her with the other men in there is it? But this is the new future now I guess

Happyinarcon · 06/04/2024 13:48

I find this difficult to believe

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