I've caused WW3 at work - vegetarian

No, not always a vegetarian option. No vegan option is quite common.

I’d not be going to this. Yes it might look a bit awkward - 6 or so down to go, one drops out.

How would they cope if one was a Hindu, Jew or Muslim? Or had allergies?

Bundobust is a 10 min walk away. Much nicer food on offer - and a great deal cheaper.

This ‘reward’ is a statement meal. Stick to your decision. See HR.

All the best.

Really sorry this subject is winding you up on your Saturday night, but your feelings are telling you that this situation is off.
The inconsiderate choice of restaurant is one thing, but - if I were you - your manager‘s graceless way of foisting his personal preferences on the team, even when he knows this will cause one of his team members discomfort, would be the issue for me here. For this to happen once could - at a push - be written off as clumsy. His persistence is something else and it sounds to me like he is creating a hostile atmosphere… You have tried to speak to him, and he has dug in, so in your shoes I really would be considering a chat with HR not limited to this dinner, but his whole approach to team events. You’ve heard the opinions of HR reps on here - it’s not you, it’s him.
I doubt this is the only scenario in which he’s tricky. His is not exactly a model of selfless leadership, is he? Let’s be positive and think that, by bringing this to the attention of HR, he will have opportunities to be supported, grow and develop…or be supported in leaving.
All this bother due to his inflexibility when he could literally have listened and changed the booking to the Ivy - I completely changed my whole wedding for 80 people with 3 weeks to go. I am sure he can manage to rebook for a different venue for dinner for 6 people on a weeknight in April…what a tit.

Is there any kind of union at your work? I think it would be helpful to suggest they look at venues for events that might be more inclusive for people I.e. not a race course and a restaurant that caters better for veggies and vegans (though might also serve meat).

Go for drinks before but explain you have a ore booked theatre trip or something else. Sometimes a white lie is needed .sad you have too but sounds like you have a difficult manager. Are you happy in the job, if ride this out of not maybe look for another....

Your team lead is being aggressive in the hope that you'll be intimidated into not telling anyone that he's made a poor decision. I would mention it to HR, especially the bit about him saying you'd need a day's leave if you didn't go to the dinner given it's not during the working day and has been sold as a 'treat' for you. The company is paying for this so they should know their resources are being used poorly. It's in dodgy legal territory to insist someone goes to a restaurant like this during the evening when it's not an operationally necessary event, so HR should know about that too. He didn't have to handle it that way and it's probably useful for them to know that he chose to.

@lpylou since when has meat been a gender thing?!

What's the female to male ratio at this meal out of curiosity?

I'm a veggie and I have been to Fazenda in Manchester. I don't recall it being overly traumatic - The veggie options were good. That said Manchester isn't exactly short of good places to eat.

I am not veggie but also not wild about meat, I eat it but large amounts really put me off. I wouldn't enjoy this restaurant at all. It sounds like it's geared up for men full stop. I was the only woman at a meal at a steak restaurant with work and I ordered the lobster, chips and salad - I was the only one! But I would strongly not like meat being brought to the table non stop.

Personally I wouldn’t go and wouldn’t let anyone make me feel bad about my decision

Absolutely fucking not! 😡 How dare they? Would they expect an observant Jew or Muslim to eat park? Because that’s the reality

Tell him no and use my example to shame him. Good luck!

I am not a vegetarian and would hate such a place too!

Goady one would be you, no one asked you to respond with your bilge about abattoirs and splatterings of animal fat and bits of meat being carved. I think you’ve been watching too many documentaries about serial killers.

Buh-bye.

Have a lovely evening, pensione. I’ve had my vitamins, so better luck goading someone else.

So why make your asinine, irrelevant comments?

I have read the thread as well as your charming comments.

Thank you. I do normally try to be a bit more polite, but some of the comments are amazing!

Just checked out the menu
2 vegetarian main meal choices
2 vegan main meal choices

Very uninspiring as well.
Bloody goats cheese, or blue cheese or mushroom risotto. Yawn! So coconut and tomato stew then🤣🤣🤣

Please not @Lazykitten their menu clearly states

They cannot guarantee there will be no cross contamination

If they can’t guarantee cross contamination for people with allergies they certainly can’t do so for veggies.

Id also say a huge no to all those skewers of meat being carried around and all those animals being grilled at the table. You’ll be surrounded. I’d find this really upsetting!

Why are they telling you to take a leave? You are available to work so go to work as normal I would think?

@Lazykitten

I've just had a look at the wording in the reward package: 'A company paid for team night out at a date and venue of your choice'

Curiously, I don't see the alternative "reward" listed as working a full day while being obliged to pretend you were on leave that day. Perhaps they should add that?

I love your refreshingly frank post. 👏👏👏👏

Ask for £60 so you can go for a meal of your choice!!!! ;-)

Stick to your guns. You're going to go into work, stay for one drink and politely decline the invitation to the meal.

If your line manager tries to push it, ask HR their views on forcing an employee to take a day annual leave on an ordinary working day when they are intending to work.