I've caused WW3 at work - vegetarian

I'm very surprised you're the only vegetarian or vegan, is there nobody else who doesn't eat meat?

I do eat meat but I wouldn't fancy masses of it in my face like that. Has the person doing the booking got an ulterior motive?

The venue was a racecourse, it wasn’t a racing day.

If it was Aintree which it sounds like, or Cheltenham, they are NH courses where there are a very few races for three- four year olds, but the majority are six or older. Corach Rambler p, who won the Grand National last year and was third in this year’s Gold Cup , was nine in the GN and ten this year, so a fully mature gelding. He’s not the exception, either.

it’s fine to be a campaigner, but get your facts right.

I don't eat meat as I've never liked it and can't stand the smell of most of it, so the venue really wouldn't be for me. If the occasion is officially a 'thank you', say you've thought about it and appreciate what they're doing, but as they know you're veggie so wouldn't enjoy being surrounded by meat and also the fact the smell can make you heave, so think it's better you don't go (ie you don't want to embarrass everyone by heaving at the table!). Say you'll happily go the drinks and if the meal is part of your working hours, say you'll take that part off as holiday.

Don't go. I have been to a place like that. Watching people eat excess dead animals is obscene.

It doesn't matter if vegetarian belief/practice is protected in law or not, you're an individual with agency and can't be compelled to do anything you are uncomfortable with or physically couldn't manage (i can't swim so any 'team building' water based activity would be a no-no for me).

I'm assuming the race event was the Grand National - hell would freeze over before i attended that, and i'd be getting union advice if my boss insisted i go.

Stick to your guns OP, your boss is on thin ice with this i think

Fazenda and Aintree ? That restaurant is in Spinningfields and there’s loads of other places nearby they could have booked.

In the sense that you can have work disciplinary policies applied if you behave badly, but not illegally, there. Not in the sense that your employer can make your job or performance conditional on attending.

I think you have misunderstood me. I wasn't saying extension of the workplace means she can be forced to go to this event, rather that extension of the workplace means she can't. I was replying to a poster who was saying that social events aren't work. I was explaining that they can be considered as work in the circumstances you describe.

Sadly this manager could find himself in hot water if he started forcing people to social.events that they couldn't attend on religious grounds.

I've worked in employment law for over 20 years

The aggressive blackmail over the meal and the pressure to attend the race day could amount to constructive dismissal. Do they have a HR department and are you in a union?

If you were Muslim would they force you to go to a bar to “network”? Probably not!

This.

I've never eaten meat in my life and definitely couldn't stomach the place you're describing.

If it helps you stand up for yourself, I strongly suspect (based on experience) this workplace is going to be intolerant to a whole range of beliefs/ people they consider too "different". I bet they're not truly progressive employers otherwise, who just happen to not understand vegetarians.

If you feel able to challenge them on this, you could be making it easier in the future for employees of different faiths, backgrounds, sexualities pregnant women etc.

Yanbu. Places like that are really unpleasant for vegetarians and the salads and sides are designed to accompany the meat-overload so don't really form much of a meal by themselves. Attending a meal like that as a vegetarian would be a nasty "othering" experience where 90% of conversations involving you will include snidy comments and tired old jokes about how weird it is to be vegetarian. Any networking opportunities would ve pousoned by this and more likely to be detrimental to you as the whole event is structured to label you as the weird outsider. Too right you should take this up with HR. What's the sex balance of the group? As women are 3 times more likely than men to be vegetarian (6% vs 3%) this could be seen as a sex discrimination issue especially if women are underrepresented in the group.

Ugh. Even as an omnivore that’s way too much meat for me. It’s outrageous they won’t accommodate you. As if there are no other more balanced restaurants around.

I am not a lawyer but I very much doubt an employment tribunal would consider that attending a social event out of hours a legally binding part of an employee's work contract.
The extension of work to social means that if someone harasses or does something at the social event the employer can be held responsible and has a duty to investigate etc. I've chaired many such cases. It does not, ime, extend to forcing employees to attend these events unless they are a contracted part of the job (eg you work in a media role and have to attend press releases etc)

In legal terms there is very little differentiation between work and a social.event organised by work. In an employment tribunal a social.event can be seen as an extension of the workplace. This one definitely would be an extension of the workplace.

Say you would be glad to join if it was a vegetarian restaurant but you feel physically ill if you see lots of meat so on this occasion i reluctantly have to decline on health grounds however should a more inclusive environment be found then you would be happy to join

Throw it back on them

However.... if it is part of your normal working practice and time and they are offering veggie alternatives they are reasonable to request you take the time off if you dont go

I would attend the drinks and knock the senior managers' socks off, be funny, friendly and brilliant. Make sure to walk with one of them when it's time to leave/be seated and let them know why you are not staying - your line manager will be shown in a very poor light.

If an employee raised this as a concern to me at work I would say fine, work from home that day. Or I’d advise that management decide on a different activity. It’s part of your belief system and should be respected.

They sound a bunch of wankers OP. I'm veggie and my DH isn't ( I will even cook meat for him and adult children) but even he wouldn't go to those places. They sound grim. I think you have been very reasonable saying that you will meet them for a drink before or after. I don't even go to any work's night . I spend enough with my colleagues during the week and them with me. Speak to your union if you get any snash off your boss OP.

This is wholly wrong op, I used to hate enforced corporate events that were verging on bullying. I declined an awayday that involved walking on rope walkways at considerable height and swinging at height. I am terrified of heights and declined. I was also nearly 60 at the time and worried about potential injury. My boss was angry with me and said I had to take holiday which I had intended to do any way.

As it turned out my colleague of the same age broke her leg at the event, a bad break leaving her unable to work for several months. The boss who insisted sat out when they got there. My immediate boss said it was ultra competitive and she felt very afraid the whole time, but felt she had to compete with the management team or be judged.

Both events sound just awful op. Disrespectful of your beliefs and outdated when mentioning the salad bar, bit of throwback to "cant you just eat the carrots".

Fazenda in Manchester is upmarket, but you still have to wash your hair after a visit unless you're happy to smell of barbecued meat and grease! And I say that as someone who likes red meat. It's somewhere that a lot of meat eaters wouldn't be comfortable with - even if just from a digestive point of view, not many people would choose to eat that much red meat in one sitting.

It's the equivalent of knowing there's non drinkers in a group, and choosing to go to a bottomless brunch. The whole point of the place is BBQ'd red meat to excess.

What matters is whether your manager/s will think you’re unreasonable and whether you want to progress at the company. It sounds like they will think you’re in the wrong, so you need to ask yourself how much you care. How much you want to stay in the job?

it sounds like you have very different values so it’s probably best to get out before the relationship breaks down. Although I understand that’s often difficult.

frankly they sound like pricks.

Does the event at the horseracing venue involve actually attending a race day, or is it just that your company has booked a suite at the racecourse as a venue for a meeting/training event/away day?

Having been a vegetarian for the last 35 years, I initially thought you were BU and a bit precious because I have never come across this type of place. However, having researched what this restaurant actually is, I have changed my mind. YANBU.

I would be fine going to e.g. a steakhouse or similar and just eating from the salad bar, because even though it might not be my choice of venue, sometimes you have to suck it up for the sake of being a team player etc. But this is a step too far, because I think it might make me feel physically sick. I wouldn't want to be around the carcasses, so the meat being carved etc. And someone saying that the meat fat was splashing on her plate was the final straw for me. I imagine the smell of the place is probably pretty nauseating as well.

I would be inclined to put something in writing to your manager, explaining that you want to be a team player and you would love to participate; that you are not precious about being a vegetarian and that you're perfectly happy to be around people eating meat; that you're flexible about where you eat and happy to accept that there might be limited options available to you on the menu; but that the carving at the table/presence of meat carcasses etc will make you feel extremely uncomfortable and potentially unwell. As such, if the meal cannot be moved to a more inclusive venue, you will respectfully offer your apologies on this occasion, though you would of course be happy to join the rest of the team for drinks before dinner.