Bullshitter at work - could this be true?

There is a woman like this in our SEN group - I find it utterly infuriating.

We’re a group of mums who came together for mutual support and advice and now just chat about general life stuff too.

No matter what happens to you, it’s happened to her but so much worse. And on top of that she makes wild, bizarre claims that can’t possibly be true. Just mad shit along the same lines as the oxygen mask story (which did make me laugh!)

I have tried not to care, but I find it hard to ignore. The issue is that it robs other people of support and sympathy when they need it because she swoops in to take over the conversation, waving away their issues and claiming it happened to her but OH so much worse, and then recounting her story where she’s inevitably either the hero or a brave survivor/victim.

I managed to catch her out once when she claimed to have previously been a nurse. Long story but someone produced blood test results and asked for help. Blagger claimed to be able to interpret them all but actually was lying - she didn’t realise that I actually did know how to read lab reports because that was my job for 17 years, so that was a bit awkward for her 😂

Several people have left the chat because she’s so annoying and just dominates everything.

Im autistic/ADHD so I really struggle with this kind of blatant lying/exaggeration. Especially as I think it’s really unfair to some of the others who don’t get the support they need when they’re having a bad day.

Just wanted to say solidarity OP. I reckon while it might be technically possible to have been let off, given her history I doubt it. My guess would be she’s either heard that story from someone else or she’s just embellished what really happened, including the speed.

I was caught speeding on the motorway 15 years ago at 99mph. The police said to me I was v.lucky as 100mph is an automatic ban - no idea if they were just trying to scare me into driving slower 🤷‍♀️ I got points and a big fine. (and yes, I know it was incredibly stupid to drive that fast - I don’t do that now).

@LordEmsworth youve clearly never had the misfortune to work with a serial liar. It’s actually surprisingly annoying. I think it’s because it starts to feel as if they’re taking the piss out of you, assuming you’re stupid enough to believe their rubbish. It’s hard to explain, but when someone lies day in day out, just for the sake of it, it’s really bloody irritating.

If they've been to Tenerife, you've been to Elevenerife.

Nobody likes that, not just bullshitters .

I had to spend a car journey with a man like this. He took my silence as encouragement and the lies got wilder and wilder. He was an expert at six martial arts, he'd slept with more than 1000 women, he'd killed six men in fights. It was fascinating to listen to!

Have a feeling at 120mph she would be cuffed, that is a one way ticket to manslaughter and s*icide.

I was once well over 100 on a quiet motorway - just wanting to get home. The police said they'd been following me for ages, could see I was driving safely other than far too fast so gave me a bollocking / warning only.

Never told anyone in real life. Never done it again.

I totally believe your colleague is a bullshitter though. I know the type!

I find a way to not be as irked is to consider that they are doing it to fill a void, to be liked or because they are terribly insecure and can't think that someone would like them for themselves, only for what they have done.

Ask them about their childhood - there will be something there I bet.

Otherwise try a chinny reckon or start calling them Walter or Jay.

She’s a bullshitter, but she may not be lying on this one. It can very much depend on the person that’s pulled you over, and their mood that day. I am not speaking from personal experience, but I know people that got done for speeding, and others that have been let off with a roadside word of warning.

My ex was like that, it got to a stage where a friend and I would just look at each other as he was telling his stories with a look of "not again".

My exs brother was a bullshitter
Many small fibs that didn't matter at all (like what time he went to bed or that they didn't have his mother brand of fans at the shop)
He got more brazen as time went on-bigger and bigger fibs
I broke up with ex and lost touch,until one day I happened to be in a cafe with my father and we found ourselves sat behind him
He was on a date and was proudly telling her he'd worked for nasa and had actually walked on the moon but it wasn't in the papers as he'd asked them to keep it quiet and out of the media
He then told her he was a doctor and was high up in his profession
Closest he'd been to the moon was looking at it and closest he'd been to a doctor was at his appointments to claim yet another sick note to keep the dole off his back
We where sat,listening in torn between agog and trying not to laugh
He messaged me years later to tell me ex had died but it wasn't on the Internet (the way he claimed ex died,meant it would have been) so I'm 50/50 on if I believe him

I was let off at 118 in my youth driving to a work conference. The senior boss travelling a bit behind got done for 107. I kept my mouth shut
It was around 30 years ago though. I was young and stupid (and had long blonde hair and a very expensive work suit and heels on)

Or Scotland. They really don’t like speeding in Scotland…

I didn’t think there were any motoring offences that led to an immediate ban? Obviously there are offences for which the penalty is a ban, and I would have put driving at 120 probably in that category. But maybe he leafy had points from other offences that led to a totting up ban.

If it was stop by the police without the necessary calibrated equipment then I can see a warning being given. I got caught on camera driving at 97mph during one of the lockdowns, for which the penalty should have been 6 points. But I pleaded guilt by post with a mitigating statement and was given 5 points, so even the sentencing rules are only guidelines.

I'm not a psychologist but I think it's from not being really seen as a child. These people grow up thinking they have to sing for their supper. They don't feel, "well I've no obligation to entertain you with stories of my surgery". They dont know that it's ok to just let the conversation flow.

Humour may be generated off the exchange of shared experiences rather than humour in a stand up monologue style.

I've met several of these.
One was my own dear brother who moved abroad which gave him far more licence.
I do wonder what motivates it. Not feeling good enough?

I made friends on a course with a woman like this OP. At the beginning it seemed kind of funny and a bit exaggerated. But we became close and then it was very unsettling when it dawned on me that all of our conversations were based on lies. I don't see her anymore thankfully.

She had a huge secret musical career and used to spend weekends in the country's most high profile houses with a select gathering of the rest of the country's most successful musicians. This woman didn't have a single instrument in her house and about 3 truly awful CDs.

She was a child psychologist and dietician. Again, knew nothing about either and worked in retail.

She had been engaged to a man that was sitting on the far side of the bar one afternoon. He had divorced to marry her but the mother of his children wouldn't give him up. This woman had walked into my friends work, knelt down in front of her and said "don't take him " The man in question was sitting across the bar chatting to his friend appeared completely unfazed my her presence as she stared this epic tale of true love. She had broken up with him and they had agreed to never speak again but at the same time every evening he phoned her - just letting it ring once - to let her know she had his heart.

There are way more examples but I have to stop now because I'm sitting in a cafe alone laughing and people are looking.

Watched a talk from a tv psychologist and he talked about such people.
He recommended a dose of their own meds, so if they have solved a murder, you have solved two. They were a doctor, you were a top surgeon. They were doing 120 you did 150. Have some fun and they will hate it

Oh I had one of these. She quit last month and I can't wipe the smile off my face, even now.
So much BS. Every day. Its so so draining. To those who've never come across one, pray you never will.

PS, I don't think people are necessarily sucked in by the tall tales. They assess on some level, oh that's nikki, she's high octane but on the plus side she includes me in all of her coffee mornings, tupperware parties et cetera.

These hot air merchants create a circle around them. You're in or you're out. I totally understand why people who don't feel depleted by others' poor behaviour and so they don't analyse others' motivations or character too deeply they just let others "be". Whether that's honorable sane secure and self aware, or, a drama generating validation hungry hot air balloon. Some people just let it wash over them!! I admire that ability!

I know someone who was doing well over the limit on the motorway and a copper drove by the side of them and made a slow down motion with their hand so it could be true. That said I work with someone who seems to have everything happen to her and has a range of health problems and all the neurodiverse ones you can think of. I just take everything she says with a pinch of salt and move on

I’ve worked with someone a bit like that. It can sometimes be tricky to take it all lightly and it is disconcerting when others believe it.

As long as she doesn’t take the medical thing too far it’s ultimately more bearable than some of the more aggressive colleagues I’ve encountered.

The warning sign with one chap was how many different jobs he’d left. He’d been moved within the company I worked in because of a fall out. He was on a double disciplinary within a short time. He complained about most of the rest of us to the line manager. I think he thought this might dilute his disciplinary if he could successfully allege we were the problem. Difficult years and I actually felt sorry for him.

It might be the same person, she may have changed her name when she was on the run from the mob.

I knew someone like this. She said she owned one of the UK’s biggest houses while she renovated it and sold it to a Russian and that she had a portfolio of property to rival the Duke of Westminster but lived in a modest 2 bed house in a normal area. Yet she wasn’t even a company director so must have been operating as a sole trader? Unlikely..
I drove myself insane trying to catch her out but gave up in the end and let her be. She was harmless even if a fantasist.

I tend to ask a lot of questions to people like that. Where did you get your degrees? How long did they take? Where did you do your initial training? Why did you give it up? Why did they not give you a general anaesthetic for that? Do you still hold a medical license? What car do you drive? I thought those had a top speed of 108mph...

😆😆😆 funniest thing I've read in ages thanks

I know a woman like this. There are hundreds of thousands of them, so I laugh at "does her name begin with .... ?" questions.

I used to respond with "I don't believe you!" but said in a tell me more! tone of voice. I think she twigged I saw through her though. Not immediately.

These people just think you're a hostile bee though. They don't self-reflect and conclude "I should really stick to the truth when I capture an audience".

Thing is though "I went to tesco, bought groceries and came home" isn't a story, so there's got to have been a pick pocket, an ambulance outside tesco, a car jacking at the garage, on and on