I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

Re it being in keeping with Chicago, my dd14 did that song in a school variety show and they just wore little black dresses not underwear and suspenders! So there's no excuse.

You haven’t got a problem with young girls wearing suspenders?

Again as another pp said there were so many dads, grand dads and brothers in the audience last night and they must have not known where to look.

You see I have a problem with this.

Girls of 15-18 should wear what they like. The physical act of dance often means tht it easier/safer for tighter clothing to be worn. In my experience girls have gained confidence in their bodies through dancing - they are confident in the moves which gives confidence in themselves. My DD danced at a lovely school from 2.5-18. They only did a show every 2 years, the remaining time they concentrated on exams. Many of her dance friends had been with the school for a similar time. They were all different heights and sizes. No one was singled out. But yes, as they got older, their costumes, for some routines be ame more mature.

If the men in the audience felt uncomfortable I would say that was on them, not the performers! Why should young women have to change their appearance just to make the men feel comfortable?

Yes agree those curly wigs or hair styles are ridiculous looking, no idea who came up with that idea, much better to allow the children’s natural hair and no fake tan on children!

We had this with a street dance company that was operating out of my DCs school. We went to one performance where I couldn’t believe my eyes at what they were wearing /how they were being told to perform / how the ‘instructors’ were acting🥺 & I am no prude!
Swapped street dance company’s & it’s a different vibe entirely, skilful, body confident but not aggressive or sexualised.

The problem is with the leadership - take a look at who runs the dance school, would you want your child to aspire to be like them or not!

This has reminded me of the girls who performed a dance from their dance school in assembly in their primary school, and which I found worrying, and thought the man who ran it was suspect. He obviously wasn't and was just like all the others. I couldn't find anyone else worried about the age inappropiate moves and held my tongue.

If anyone wants an example of what the Americanisation of dance is like should google Irish dancing, especially at the top end like the world championships.

Curly wigs, tanned legs and face, full theatre still makeup - all on little kids. It’s utterly gross.

I agree with this

It's her friend's daughter.

My girl’s football club has a large number of dance school refugees- they seem to flee dance around 11/12 and are great and perfect for football- fit, good cardio, strong legs and excellent footwork.

Why are you allowing something that makes you feel sick to look at?

She means just pulling her out isn't enough; she wants to do more.

Hmmm, I can see why you wouldn’t have liked this, but it was a musical theatre number. The film version has a 12 certificate rating and it sounds like they just wore a costume that’s appropriate for the musical. I obviously didn’t see the routine, so can’t really comment on how sexual it was. But, at this age they’re likely starting to prepare the girls for dance colleges/uni and doing a variety of musical theatre numbers will be needed. Chicago is Fosse so a well known dance style that the dance school are giving the girls experience of doing. Possibly it was a poor choice given the ones at the younger end of the ages, but I can see why they did it. My dd dances, she’s much younger than 15, but does wear costumes that involve leotards, jazz knickers etc. They’re either quite cute/funny or they’re really pretty (like her lyrical one). Lots of sports wear very little such as gymnastics, swimming, diving. So I don’t think the ‘lack of clothing’ is necessarily a problem. The charging for drop off/pick up is absolutely crackers though.

Remove her immediately . Is the teacher a member of any of the dance associations ? I’m not sure what they could do but you could raise your concerns with them?

they're not all like that though. You just have to find the right school/club. DD went to a dance school which had them dressed appropriately, did not allow make-up for younger girls, didn't use inappropriate moves/music. No exams, just a yearly show which the kids practiced for. It was low key, with the emphasis on fun and fitness rather than perfection.

When I was looking first for dancing classes though I did come across some which were ridiculously strict about costume and hair, or made a huge thing about dance exams or competing against other dancers. She was FOUR. Dancing is a weird old world and if you are in a smaller town with one option, that's difficult. I took DD to a further away dance school which suited us.

Weirdly enough I was saying to my husband the other day dance schools (where I live anyway) seem to be either tradition (focused on ballet/tap and completing grades) or modern (focussed on street/ contemporary etc focused on competitions). The modern schools seem far more adult and sexualise young children in the dance/ costumes.

Well it’s not just the dance school you need to worry about. I did the Chicago dance, in full outfit, using the chairs as a prop in school for GCSEs! Although we were all warned before hand to not wear stringy vests because it was distracting to the male teachers this was about 8 years ago

Not all dance schools are like this but a lot of the commercial comp focused ones are.

I've seen the type of thing you're talking about - and, yes, it's horrifying - from another local dance school. 11 year old's slutdropping and shaking their backsides to the audience while bent over, dressed in crop tops and booty shorts and fake tan to Rihanna's S&M and Timber while out in public.

Fortunately, my DD's dance school was as shocked I was and is permanently paranoid about the suitability of songs and material.

You won't change the ethos of the school, so either move her, brace to pull her out of shows or accept that in a year or two... that'll be her.

Just get her out. Normal doesn’t mean you should violate your own values

The child can form other friendships at a better dance school.

Are you thinking about what pulling your daughter out the school will do to her? It's a really difficult age for leaving established friendships and something she loves. It's not easy moving dance schools at that age and starting again with friendships.

If she leaves the current dance school those friendships will naturally fall away.

They definitely aren't always like that.

Love Flashdance!

Nonsense. I’m late forties with a 7 year old and I could easily refer to Flashdance!